Reflecting on 2009, planning for 2010

Here in Arizona, there's a little less than 90 minutes to New Year's Day. I'm sitting on the couch, watching "The Twilight Zone" marathon on SyFy while trying to settle on my New Year's resolutions.

They, of course, will involve finally getting to my goal weight. I was so close in 2009 ... but just couldn't manage to get over the hump. Somewhere along the way, I lost my focus.

I used part of a gift card from my brother to buy "The Spark," by SparkPeople founder Chris Downie. I've skimmed through it, and one thing — under "Cornerstone: Focus" jumped out at me:

Are you working each day toward something that really matters to you?

I haven't been — at least not when it comes to weight loss. (I have, however, been doing a pretty good job focusing on my writing in the last several months. But that's another story. I need to be able to do both.)

Stephanie Quialo (Twitter name @skinnyjeans) suggests, instead of making resolutions, having a New Year's Theme ... it's more flexible and fun — and (my added thought) hopefully easier to achieve.

With that thought in mind, I've been toying with ideas all afternoon. I thought about making it the start of "The New Me Decade," where I do what I need to do to take care of myself.

I've also considered "no excuses" and "just do it," both variations on the same theme: Doing things I might not always want to do because they are things I need to do. I need to get in activity and I need to eat within my Points.

I need to do these things even if I don't want to do them. I need to do them to get to goal and maintain ... I need to do them for me. For my health, happiness and peace of mind.

Can't stop eating crap

It happened again. I ate too many sweets at work, and then, when I got off, went to Del Taco for something salty to "cut the sweet."

I know better. Why did I let that happen? :P

Oh well. Today is a new day, a fresh start. I'll make it a good one.

I must be getting old

Today's doctor's visit was all that I expected it to be — and more.

The doctor's scale (which always sucks) put me around 197 ... but the WW scale had me at 193.4 just 2 hours later. (That's still up a pound from last week, but a one-pound gain is acceptable considering the crap I ate all weekend.)

The doctor wants me to start taking baby aspirin and calcium supplements every day. Jeez ... Like I don't already have enough trouble remembering to take a multivitamin! :D

I'm also supposed to get my blood pressure checked several times before I go back to see him in February, because it's borderline high. Ugh.

I did go ahead and ask for a note setting a new goal weight ... but I did not turn it in at my meeting. He wrote me a note saying 175 was OK. I'm hoping that mentally freeing myself from the 170 looming over my head will give me the kick in the butt I need to recommit to losing. It certainly can't hurt, right?

So far, so good. When I got home from work tonight, I hopped on the elliptical/bike (using it as an elliptical) that's hanging out in our kitchen at the moment. Did 15 minutes while my Candy Cane Lane tea was cooling enough to drink it.

Sure, it was only 15 minutes ... but that's 15 minutes more than I'd gotten done earlier today. I'll take it! Tomorrow's goal: At least 20 minutes of exercise (preferably more).

Not looking for much

My weigh-in is tomorrow, and I'm not counting on it being a good one. Again this week, I had more bad days than good. (Monday, Tuesday and Sunday were good; the rest weren't.)

Before WI, I head to the doctor's office for my annual exam. I'm toying with the idea of asking him if I should get a note from him to up my goal weight to 180 ... That's 10 pounds higher than it currently is, and 8 pounds above the upper end of my range.

He'll say "no," I'm sure. There's no reason why I shouldn't be able to hit 170 ...

Well, there is: It's my laziness. I've been a bad Weight Watcher. I didn't count Points Wednesday, Thursday, Friday or Saturday ... and on Saturday, especially, I ate a lot of junk I didn't need (including Taco Bell for dinner). If I spent as much time on-plan as off-plan, I'd be at my goal by now.

The only reason I'm thinking about it is to save money, anyway. If I bump up my goal, I can get there that much faster, and then I'll be able to quit paying for WW meetings.

I want to hit 170, darn it ... and soon. It's going to take commitment and fewer excuses.

Online, on the phone and in the kitchen

As I said earlier, I spent most of the day on the phone or running errands. When I wasn't doing that, I was online.

I did, however, find time to make myself a healthy dinner (after

getting Subway for lunch).

Dinner was a turkey sandwich (2 oz. turkey, FF Miracle whip and honey mustard on a Sandwich Thin) and zucchini fries (a whole zucchini cut into spears, tossed with 2 tsp. honey mustard and 1 tsp. olive oil, then coated with 1/3 cup Fiber One crumbs and baked for about 18 minutes). I also steamed the last of the veggies from Sunday's salad, which had been marinating in oil and balsamic vinegar. (Not the lettuce, but the carrots, broccoli and snap peas.)

I shot a photo of the fries, which were inspired by Hungry Girl. I don't know if she has a recipe for something similar, because this

is one I made up myself — but it was definitely sparked by HG's love of Fiber One.

A couple of hours after dinner, I made a peppermint milkshake with my Magic Bullet. I love that thing. It was a Christmas gift from my roommate several years ago, and while I don't use it as often and the infomercial says, I do use it a lot. (Used it twice tonight — once to make the Fiber One crumbs and once for the shake. Mmm.)

The shake, which weighs in at 2 Points, was easy to make: just 1/2 cup Breyer's Free vanilla ice cream, 1/4 cup skim milk and half a candy cane. It might not be as thick and rich as a DQ peppermint Blizzard, but it also has a heck a lot fewer calories!

Don't ask why the photo is sideways. Apparently I have to change that in my photo editing program, not here in the blog.

Still stressing about money

... But I've managed to stay on track pretty well today. I can probably thank the fact that I've spent so much of the day on the phone with one person or another. It left me with no time to snack.

While I was out running around, trying to straighten out my financial mess, I stopped at the bank inside a grocery store. (Whoever thought of putting banks in stores was either genius or evil. I can't decide.) Even though I was stressing over my money situation, I managed to avoid buying myself a donut.

Oh, I was tempted. I walked past the donut case several times, drooling. I also looked at slices of cake and cupcakes — stress makes me want sweets. But in the end, I avoided temptation and settled for a WW 1-Point Red Velvet bar instead. I'll count that as a small (very small) success.

I did discover that work makes me eat. I was over there for 5 minutes to use the fax (faxing paperwork to an attorney) and managed to eat three chocolate-covered pretzels. They were there; I was there ... the darn things practically automatically ended up in my mouth. Ugh.

Thanks to the unscheduled 5 p.m. sweets, I've eaten my 23 Points for the day, and it's only 8 p.m. I think I'll hop on the exercise bike so I can enjoy a snack later. A candy cane shake is calling my name — homemade, of course, to make it a heck of a lot healthier than a DQ candy cane Blizzard.

Up again

I'm not surprised. Some bad financial news sent me straight to the food last night. Being an emotional eater sucks. I wish I were like the Boyfriend, who eats less when he's stressed.

Not me. I eat more. After opening a letter from my job saying a bill collector is going to start garnishing my wages (on Christmas Eve, no less — merry freakin' Christmas), I ate two cookies, some fries and chocolate cupcakes from the vending machine at work.

On top of a not-s0-great few days at the Boyfriend's house, I was up 2.8 pounds at today's official WW weigh-in. :P

That puts me back in the 190s, for crying out loud. Not where I want to be.

Could have been better

But the day also could have been much, much worse.

I succumbed to a bad case of the munchies again tonight after dinner (11 Points worth of cookies, Cheez-its and Sun Chips).

However, I also tracked everything I ate. And I got in 40 whole minutes of activity, in the form of a 30-minute walk, 8 minutes on the exercise bike, 1 minute marching in place and 1 minute of modified pushups.

And I did not snack when I got home from work, even though I made the dough for a batch of my Mom's butter cookies. I was going to bake them, too, until I read the dough has to chill for an hour. (It was already 2:30 when I finished mixing it. I didn't want to be up at 4 a.m., rolling and cutting out cookies.) I plan to get up at about 8 a.m. and finish them then, instead.

I'm making some to take to the Boyfriend's when I head down there tomorrow — and also to take to our office Christmas party at noon.

Not sure how I'm going to avoid overeating (and using up the rest of my FPs) at the party. It's a potluck. Maybe I should just plan to eat lunch before I head over there.

Here are my vows for tomorrow:

• Track everything I eat, even at the party.
• Get in some kind of activity.
• No late-night snacking.

Keeping promises

Day Two of my detox plan didn't go quite as well as Day One. I treated myself to my favorite lunch — a slice of pizza and caesar side salad from Picazzo's (11 Points!) — then had the munchies at work. I ended up devouring three Mexican Wedding Cake cookies (so good!) throughout the night.

The good news is, I tracked it all. The bad news? 12 FPs later ... Oh well. Since I'm on Day Two of the WW week, I have them to spare.

I also kept my other promise to myself for the day: To get in some kind of activity. Not only did I do a couple of extra laps around Target and park farther from the door at all my holiday shopping stops, but I also hopped on the exercise bike for 10 minutes. I pedaled for 5 minutes going forward and 5 going backward. That has to count for something, even if I did earn just 1 AP!

I'm going to become quite the hot tea afficionado. After Tina over at Carrots N Cake raved about Celestial Seasonings Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride tea, I decided to try to find some. I did, at my friendly neighborhood health food store. Not only did they have that flavor (which according to Tina is almost impossible to find), they also had three other holiday flavors, conveniently packaged in an endcap display.

I got myself two boxes: Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride and Candy Cane Lane. I had some of the Sugar Cookie flavor after dinner as a dessert substitute. It tasted delicious ... but a substitute for dessert it was not. It didn't keep me from eating cookies back at the office.

I'm sipping a mug of Candy Cane Lane right now as I write this post, in lieu of having an after-work snack. Now that's a habit I think I can get behind.

With that in mind, here are my vows for Wednesday:

• Track faithfully for the day.
• Get some kind of activity (preferably more than 20 minutes).
• No after-work snack. Drink some tea instead.

I'll check back in with my progress.

How bad do I want it?

Unfortunately, I'd say the answer to that question — at least lately — is "not bad enough."

Yep. After spending another weekend with the Boyfriend, making some pretty awful choices, I've come to a realization: I haven't been working very hard to lose my last several pounds. And now, after a 4+ pound gain at the scale today, I have nearly 20 pounds to lose again. Bleah.

I know what to do. I know that sometimes I need to make the hard choices ... the not-so-fun choices ... Yet time and time again, I find myself choosing the fun, not-so-healthy things instead.

Why is that? I think I've just gotten lazy. I've been taking the easy way out (read: Drive Thru) instead of preparing myself a delicious, healthy meal. I've been giving in and eating whatever's on offer at work and at the Boyfriend's. At restaurants, I've been ordering what I want (and what looks good) instead of the healthier things I know I should get.

And I haven't been tracking the way I need to. I'll half-heartedly track part of the day, and then stop.

These are things that don't work for me — or for anyone. So why am I continually surprised that I'm stuck in the 180s? I haven't been putting in the work, yet I'm expecting good results. It doesn't work like that!

The Boyfriend and I actually had a talk yesterday ... he said he was going to stop encouraging me to eat crap. I'll believe that when I see it. Sometimes I wonder if he does it on purpose, if he doesn't want me to get to my goal weight. Then I figure that he just thinks exercise will do it all. He often tells me "Just exercise more and you can eat what you want." Again, it doesn't work like that! (At least not completely. But try telling him that.)

With that being said, today was a pretty good day. I had a fairly healthy breakfast of oatmeal with raisins, nuts and brown sugar, followed by a peppermint mocha latte (made with less syrup and skim milk). Lunch was a California roll from my favorite sushi place and my afternoon snacks were grape tomatoes, two clementines and a 100-calorie pack of roasted almonds. For dinner, since I only had 3 Points left, I ate a 0-Point salad, grilled zucchini and 2 oz. turkey on a Sandwich Thin.

When all was said and done, including a few of the cookies I made last week (one oatmeal lace after lunch and two of the double chocolate ones after dinner) and some sugar-free hot cocoa at work after dinner, I ate 26 Points. No exercise, though.

I read some advice in today's meeting materials (or maybe it was last week's ... we got both today since last Monday's meeting was canceled by weather). Someone said they commit to tracking for just one day, and that makes it seem less overwhelming.

I'm going to try that theory out, because when I make grand statements that I'm going to track every bite, every day from here on out, I feel like crap when I don't (usually on Day 1 or 2!).

So here's my pledge for tomorrow: I will track all day long and do some kind of activity, whether it's the exercise bike indoors or walking outside.

There's something about baking

There's something therapeutic about creating something sweet from scratch. Home-baked treats don't just taste better than store-bought; they also transport me somewhere else — back to my childhood, when I helped Mom in the kitchen with all our holiday cookies.

So it's not surprising that today, when I was snowed in and unable to get out of town to visit the Boyfriend, I headed to the kitchen.

I baked up a storm — three batches in all. I'd have probably gone ahead with a fourth — my Mom's butter cookies — had we not been out of flour. So it's probably a good thing I didn't have flour. Three batches of cookies was more than enough.

All three recipes are from the Weight Watchers Web site. They can be found here.

First, I baked some Oatmeal Pecan Lace Cookies. But I used walnuts instead of pecans because I had a limited amount for groceries, and the walnuts were cheaper. The recipe uses no flour but still has 2 Points per serving. (I misread the instructions, and made 18 giant cookies ... but the recipe says 2 cookies make a serving, which means I should have made 36. Live and learn, I guess.)

Next, I took a break for lunch and shoveling (whoopee!). Then I whipped up the Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies. They didn't look anything like the ones in the photo at WW.com, but they still taste delicious! Better yet, they're just 1 Points apiece.

Finally, I made a batch of Spiced Peanut Butter Cookies, featuring pureed garbanzo beans. I think they're my favorite of the bunch. Yum! And just 2 Points per cookie ...

I managed to not eat too many while baking them and putting them away. I even froze half of the chocolate and PB ones for later. Still, I'm going to drop by my office with a plate full. And once I get paid, I'll probably still make a batch of Mom's butter cookies. It's just not Christmas without them.

No weigh-in Monday

Because of the storm that blew through Flagstaff, the substitute WW leader couldn't make it for the Monday meetings ... so no WW meeting for me.

I did weigh in at home. 184. 2 — about a pound more than last Monday on the home scale. I'm not surprised. I had more bad days than good again.

Today, I'm celebrating a huge NSV: I finished my 90,000-word manuscript this morning (at about 5 a.m., after a marathon writing session, fueled by an early night at work and a loss of the satellite TV). You can read all about that at my other blog.

How shall I celebrate? Well, being snowed in, I'm baking a few batches of WW-friendly cookies. I picked up brown sugar and nuts Sunday night, knowing I wasn't going to be driving anywhere Monday or Tuesday with a full-on blizzard coming to town.

I may try to take a trudge through the snow, too ... but I wouldn't count on that. I will, however, keep a handle on my cookie consumption. I want to see the scale move in the right direction next week.

Feeling much better now

I had a pretty good day overall. I got in a nice walk and only ate 27 Points total.

Subtract the 2 APs I earned on my walk and I only used 2 FPs. (I'm going to discount the fact that I doubt I have any left for the week after that rough patch.)

Have I mentioned that I love Hungry Girl? I baked up some of her Butternut Squash Bake after lunch, and had some as a snack, and then another serving with dinner. Delicious! Except I'm beginning to think it's not just Burger King onion rings that don't agree with me. The onions in the squash bake seemed to give me gas, too. :P

Here's the Tweet, Eat, Post version of my day. I'll try to add some pictures later, when I get them off the camera.

Food	Units
zucchini, grilled w/ 1 tsp olive oil	1
sandwich thin w/ 2 oz ham, wedge lc light, ff mayo, honey mustard	4
2 clementines	1
pumpkin fluff	1
ww 2-point double chocolate bar	2
hg cheesy butternut squash bake	2
ff tuna salad w/ crackers	3
bbq chicken sandwich	4
butternut squash bake	2
jell-o sf chocolate mousse	1
1/2 oz. peanuts	2
ww brownie	2
100-cal pk cocoa-roasted almonds - love em!	2
Total:	27

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Anyway, since it worked for me last night, I'm going to try it again: I won't be having snack when I get home from work, and I will be getting up early(ish) to take a walk before I head to the NaNoWriMo "Thank goodness it's over" party at Barnes & Noble at noon. (And, just for good measure, I WON'T be eating cheesecake like I did last Sunday at BN.)

Followed through

I just finished doing what I said I was going to do: No snack after work, and a walk first thing when I woke up. (It was late morning, since I didn't get up until 10:30 ... but it was still first thing!)

I guess you could say it's a step in the right direction.

When I got back from my walk (a little more than 2 miles in 32 minutes), I fixed a healthy — and delicious — lunch. I sliced a zucchini, tossed it with olive oil, garlic and sea salt, and then grilled it on George. I also made a ham sandwich: A Sandwich Thin with 2 oz. ham, a Laughing Cow light cheese wedge and a little Miracle Whip Free and honey mustard. It, too, got the George treatment. Yum! And I peeled and ate two clementines. Double yum! I love those things ... and it's even better when you buy a bag for less than $3.

Next up? I think I'm going to make some of Hungry Girl's Cheesy Butternut Squash Bake to have as an afternoon snack and with dinner.

It's amazing how easy it is to start feeling good again! Now, all I need to do is keep up the good work.

Something's wrong

I know what I should be doing — so why is it so darn hard to get it done?

Yes, after a good Tuesday, I've spent most of the rest of the week heading off the rails. Bad food choices, little exercise ... the whole enchilada.

So I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with you?"

I know I need to eat less and exercise more. I know I should choose the salad instead of the burger. I know I should be snacking out of the vending machine at work or hitting the drive-thru for late-night snacks.

So what is my problem? Is it a fear of success? Failure? Just a simple matter of being tired of being "good"? Slipping back into bad habits I thought I'd banished?

I don't know. But it stops here. I'm going to get back to work cultivating that "no excuses" attitude. Starting right now.

No after-work snack for me tonight (but I will say yes to some water. I'm dying of thirst right now.) ... and the first thing I'll do in the morning is put on my walking shoes and hit the pavement. Yes, before I even check the computer.

It really is a simple matter of making choices. It's just that lately, I've been making bad ones. That stops here. I have to do this, for myself and for my family and friends. I know they're all pulling for me.

And I want to do it for my wallet. I can think of a ton of other things to spend $12 a week on, that's for sure! :D

So far, so good

With breakfast and lunch behind me, I've consumed 16 Points.

Hmm. Saying that out loud makes me realize that's actually not so great when I have just 23 Points to eat. Perhaps I need to retitle this post "So far, not so good" ...

Breakfast was HG's Egg Mug Classic on half a sandwich thin. Pretty tasty, though I still think I prefer the Egg Mug Lorraine, with bacon bits, onion and dijon mustard in the mix. After some computer time, during which I accomplished nothing but surfing the Net, I headed outside for a walk.

I ended up walking myself over to the house of a neighbor who happens to be a writer, and we decided to have lunch at Picazzo's, our favorite gourmet pizza place. I had my usual, the caesar salad/slice of pizza combo, which today happened to be a shrimp scampi pizza. Delicious! The only trouble is, it had alfredo sauce ... so I'm counting lunch as 12 Points instead of the usual 11. Hope it's not actually more than that!

Now, I'm off to the Boyfriend's for some quality time with my computer until he gets home from work. I'll work much better being at the Starbucks in Camp Verde, away from the temptations of the Internet.

My heroine is about to impulsively cut off the long, blonde hair she's been hiding behind for years. And then she's going to wish she had it back.

Three snacks in one photo

Overall, for the first day I've counted Points in a while, I'll count this one as a victory. I ate 28 total — 23 plus my 5 FPs. But I also got in a 16-minute walk, so I earned 1 AP. I'll take it!

This afternoon while working at my desk, I had some WW cheddar twists, then 2 clementines and a Quaker Chewy Granola bar. Impressively, I got all three snacks in just one picture!

After indulging in curly fries for lunch, I ended up with 6 Points left for dinner. I ate a serving of cider stew (pictured in the post below, with the recipe) with half a Sandwich Thin to soak up the extra cider-sauce. That was exactly 6 Points, so the pumpkin fluff I ate for dessert was the start of the FPs.

I also had an apple with peanut butter and then a WW peanut butter cookie. So I snacked a bit more than I might like, but overall remained in control.

Let's see if I can go for two days in a row, especially seeing as how I'll be at the Boyfriend's tomorrow and Wednesday.

Food	Units
svg. pumpkin fluff w/ ff cool whip	1
arby's jr. roast beef sandwich	6
arby's kids meal curly fries - should have gotten the applesauce instead	5
ww cheddar twists	2
2 clementines	1
chewy granola bar	2
cider stew	5
1/2 sandwich thin	1
1/2 c pumpkin fluff w/ ff cool whip	1
honeycrisp apple w/ 1 t rf pb	3
ww pb cookie	1
Total:	28

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

P.S. I included a gratuitous shot of my Christmas tree for all you holiday lovers out there. The roommate and I put it up Sunday morning, before I headed off to my write-in.

One thing I ate right this weekend

I dusted off an old idea: Cider Stew. My mom made this when I was younger, and it was delicious.

But instead of making it on the stovetop, I decided to do it in the Crock Pot. The result was just as delicious as I remember ... and fairly healthy, too. It was the one decent thing I ate all weekend! :D

I hope you like it as much as I do. Here's the recipe:

1 cup onion
2 cups carrot
3 cups potato
2 apples
3/4 pound stew beef
1 Tablespoon thyme
2 cups apple cider
salt, pepper to taste

Chop veggies and apple into smallish pieces of approximately the same size to ensure even cooking. Put all in a lined slow cooker. Stir to mix well. Put beef on top. Sprinkle with thyme, salt and pepper. Pour in cider.

Cook at least 8 hours, until beef is fall-apart tender.

Makes 6 servings of about 1 1/2 cups each.

On the nutritional front, it stacks up pretty well: 268 calories, 5.1 g fat (1.8 sat.), 36.8 g carb (5 g fiber, 17.4 sugars) and 19.5 g pro. That gives it a WW Points value of 5.

P.S. I'll try to add a picture later, after I heat some up for dinner.

Battling "What the hell" weekend-itis

Yes, I've been struggling the last few days (since Thanksgiving late-night, actually). However, that did not keep me from seeing the scale go in the right direction at today's WI.

I was down 2.8 pounds, for a total of 56.6 since starting WW. And that puts me at 14.4 pounds left to go to hit my WW goal, meaning I'm almost as low as I was back in October.

It's about time! I've been bouncing in the 180s for much, much too long.

Anyway, back to my weekend problem. I stayed pretty much OP through the week, even with Thanksgiving. I didn't pig out at the big feast, and I only had ONE piece of pumpkin pie. But when Friday evening rolled around, I for some reason decided to chuck it ... I ate pretty badly all weekend long.

I need to figure out why that happens. This time, I can't blame it on the Boyfriend, because I was on my own (and at work and writing on my novel, which hit the NaNoWriMo halfway point of 25K ... unfortunately, it's supposed to be at the finish line of 50K by Nov. 30.)

So today, I'm getting back in the food journal habit, starting with the afternoon snacks. (Breakfast and lunch are already over, and not snapped.) And right now, it's off for a quick walk before I head in to work.

Off to a healthy start (11/26 breakfast)

So far, my Thanksgiving is going great.

I woke up early and got about 600 words written on my novel (not a huge amount, but there's still a chance for me to do more before the Boyfriend gets back home).

While I was writing, I ate my healthy breakfast: 2 clementines and a Nutri-grain cherry cereal bar (my favorite flavor). That's just 3 Points, so I have plenty left for later! Yes, I'm aware that I should eat some lunch, too. I'll try to keep it to about the same number of Points, leaving me with plenty for the big turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

I still have most of my FPs for the week, seeing as how it's only Day 3 for me. I'm thankful for a Tuesday start to my WW week! :D

Seriously, I have a lot to be thankful for. Roni's question of the week asked exactly that, and though I haven't answered yet, I've been thinking about it.

Here's a quick rundown. I'm thankful for:

• Friends and family, especially a new nephew born healthy and happy.
• The chance to share my weight struggles with you all, my Weight Watchers friends and the Blog to Lose community.
• A job that I enjoy (most of the time).
• My writer friends in Northern Arizona Romance Writers of America, who inspire me to set goals and keep going. I'm going to start looking for an agent soon, I think.
• My RWA Golden Heart entry is complete, and has been received at RWA HQ.
• Whatever meager following my blog(s) may have. Someday, it'll grow.

I'm also planning a walk before dinner. In fact, I may take it right after I finish this post.

Here's a photo of last night's dinner, too. I had a baked sweet potato with salad and a turkey burger (7 Points total). Dessert was a bowl of Special K

chocolaty delight with skim milk (3 more), and later I had a 100-calorie Reese's PB cookie bar (another 3). The day's total was 27, so I used 4 FPs.

Anybody out there? (11/25 Lunch)

It feels like I'm talking to myself. I guess that's OK, because I do that quite often. Sometimes I even answer myself, which I know is a sign of insanity ... or maybe it's just a good imagination. I can carry on conversations in my head.

Of course, it'd be nice to know someone else is listening. So if you want to drop me a comment, I'd be much obliged.

After being sick yesterday, I feel pretty good today. I slept in until about 11 a.m. and then had a WW 2-Point Fruit & Nut bar (not pictured). After doing a bit of cleaning for my roommate's guests Thursday, I whipped up a delicious healthy lunch.

Using leftover tomato paste from last week's Crock Pot Stuffed Peppers, I made myself some meat sauce with 3 oz. lean ground beef, 1/4 cup onions, 1/4 cup chopped mushroom and basil, oregano, garlic powder and onion powder (3 Points). I put it over a serving of whole wheat pasta (another 3 Points) and topped it with 2 T reduced fat mozzarella and a grilled zucchini.

It was delicious ... and it took care of the craving I had for something gooey and cheesy. (Last night, had I had the money and anyone else would have been interested, I would have called out for pizza at work. I'm glad I didn't, though. I ended up having a 25-Point day ... forgot to add in the teryaki tuna and crackers I ate at my desk last night when I said I'd only eaten 16. I'd actually had 21, and then went home and fixed myself a can of Eating Right spaghettios, bringing the total to 25. Still a pretty good day, considering most of what I ate was junk food.)

Counting it as a victory

I had my WI Monday, but went to the evening meeting in Cottonwood instead of my regular morning one in Flagstaff. Their scale said I weighed exactly the same as last Monday.

Since I weigh heavier in the afternoon, I'm going to take that as a sign that I actually was down a bit from last week. Even if not, I should count myself lucky after the not-great weekend I had. The food journal fell by the wayside, and I ate several things I shouldn't have — starting with a delicious (but not-so-nutritious) barbecue bacon burger at my writer's group meeting Saturday.

The scale should be down now. I've been battling a 36-hour bug, and spent last night throwing up and doing other unsavory things. Today, I've eaten very little: A junior burger from Sonic, a small cone from McDonald's and (the worst offender) a 6-Point bag of Doritos from the vending machine at work. Why is it that the bags you get in multi-packs are only 3 Points, but the vending machine bags are double that? Not fair!

So I've only eaten 16 Points for the day. Guess I should go home and make myself a healthy 7-Point snack. Perhaps part of the reason I feel like crap right now is because I haven't eaten enough — or enough of the right things — today.

I hope so. I told the Boyfriend, who gave me whatever I had (he had it Sunday night; I had it Monday), that if that's what it's like to be pregnant, I don't want to be pregnant. I hate puking. :P

Thursday: A mixed bag

Woke up and the home scale told me I weighed 182.4 — down 3 pounds from Tuesday! I also put my Golden Heart entry in the mail, so I was feeling pretty fine this morning.

I treated myself to my favorite salad/pizza lunch from Picazzo's to celebrate, but then took a 20-minute walk afterward. During the walk, I even did a few minutes of jogging — about 5, I think. I lost track.

It was all downhill from there. I overindulged in the tortilla chips that were hanging out in the break room at work ... I shouldn't have eaten even one, because I know I have a hard time stopping. But I ate one ... and then another one ... and then I lost count. I probably used at least 10 FPs tonight, and I'm still hungry.

I'm thinking about eating more of the pork I had for dinner when I leave work. But being ribs cooked in the slow cooker with green salsa, it's not the healthiest meal I've ever made. It was, however, delicious. A coworker gave me the recipe when he moved to Hawaii and gave me his Crock Pot.

Then again, I don't need pork at 2 a.m. I should just go home and go to sleep. The pork will be there in the morning (and healthier, because I'll be able to skim off some of the fat once it's chilled).

I think I just successfully talked myself out of snacking on pork! Let's hope so. I'd like to see the scale continue to drop.

A case of the munchies

Today should have been another stellar, OP day — but it wasn't quite as good as I'd hoped.

I started off strong with a 3-Point breakfast and a 3-Point snack, but by the time lunch rolled around, I was starving. I stopped at Subway for a buffalo chicken 6-inch sub on honey-oat bread. I tried to order sensibly, getting just the sandwich instead of the meal with baked chips. I was hungry enough to devour an apple on the drive from Subway to the house ... and I sliced up a zucchini and grilled it on George to go with the sandwich. That made for an 8-Point lunch, so I was already down 14 for the day.

Then the trouble really started. I had a Diet Soda Cupcake (2 Points), some Hungry Girl-inspired homemade Doritos (corn tortillas sprayed with cooking spray and sprinkled with a mixture of taco seasoning and Land O Lakes sharp cheddar seasoning, for 1 Point) and two clementines. I also snacked on a chewy granola bar (2 more).

And that left me with very few Points — 3 to be exact — for dinner. I ate a stuffed pepper and a salad with EVOO and balsamic vinegar (5 Points) and then had some SF Jell0 mousse (1). The after-work snack was some homemade popcorn, bringing my grand total so far to 27 Points.

No exercise to offset what I ate today. The walk fell by the wayside as I finished up my Golden Heart entry. So that means I've used 3 FPs for the day — IF I don't have a snack when I get home tonight ... and that's a BIG if. My post-work snacks are probably just habit by now, but I swear my stomach is rumbling right now.

Food	Units
hg egg mug classic on sandwich thin	3
slice chocolate pumpkin loaf	3
6-inch buffalo ckn sub, no cheese	7
honeycrisp apple	1
grilled zucchini	0
diet soda cupcake, halved, w/ 1 tbsp ff cool whip	2
hg-inspired homemade "doritos"	1
2 clementines	1
quaker chewy granola bar - oatmeal raisin	2
salad w/ 1tsp evoo, balsamic vinegar	1
stuffed pepper	4
jell-o mousse	1
homemade microwave popcorn	1
Total:	27

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

FPs used today: 3; Total used for week: 4.5.

Day 1 of WW week went well

Tuesday was a successful Day One for my WW week. I ate 27.5 Points but took a 50-minute, 3+ mile walk that earned me 3 APs. That means I only used 1.5 Flex Points for the day. Considering I usually use all 5, I'm not complaining.

I need to try to save up some FPs, though. I have my romance writers group meeting on Saturday, and it's not easy to order something low in Points at the restaurant where the meeting is held.

Speaking of romance, I spent the morning at a write-in, boosting that NaNoWriMo word count. I've written 14,500+ words since Nov. 1 — an amazing number for me, and that doesn't include my random blog posts. It's only words in the manuscript I'm currently working on. I just might have it finished by the end of the year if I can keep up this pace.

Of course, this pace is a bit hectic. I'm still finding it tough to balance the day job with writing, blogging, eating right and exercising. Why is it so hard to get the balance right?

This morning started off with Hungry Girl's Egg Mug Classic on a Sandwich Thin. Delicious (but I still like the Egg Mug Lorraine, with a few bacon bits and dijon mustard, better)! Then, after hour one of the two-hour write-in, I treated myself to a serving of the Chocolate Pumpkin Loaf I made yesterday.

Now, I'm about to leave the coffee shop for a walk and healthy lunch before heading into work. And I'm still trying to finish up my Golden Heart entry before I leave for work. Wish me luck!

Successful experiment

I've had a busy, busy morning. Not only did I manage to get up early (thanks to a call from the Boyfriend) and eat a healthy breakfast, but also to take a 50-minute walk AND bake a loaf of chocolate-pumpkin bread.

I saw the recipe over at Carrots 'N' Cake this morning and knew I HAD to try it. But I didn't want to make it as it was written, because it had a lot of sugar in it. We all know "limit added sugar and alcohol" is one of Weight Watchers' 8 Good Health Guidelines, and since I'm trying to be good this week, I

didn't want to blow that on Day 1.

So I set out, using my knowledge of healthy cooking, to improve on the recipe. Here's my version:

• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/2 cup Splenda
• 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 can (7.5 ounces) pumpkin
• 1/4 cup chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 325*F. Spray loaf pan with nonstick cooking spray (butter flavor would be nice, but I'm out and had to use regular).

2. Combine all ingredients in large mixing bowl; blend well.

3. Once mixed, pour batter into loaf pan. Bake for 40-45 minutes, until top is firm and a toothpick comes out clean.

I must admit, the result doesn't look like much, especially after I cut it into 16 pieces, the way it is in the photo above. And I was nervous because the batter was so darn thick. Take my word for it: It tastes better than it looks. It was so delicious I'm having to fight to keep myself from having a second piece. But since 1/16 of the loaf is about 3 Points, that's not an option right now.

I'll take one with me to the write-in tomorrow morning. Work on my NaNo MS is coming along — up past 13K. Since I'm aiming for 40,000, I'll be halfway when I hit 20K ... and I'm about to take my characters off to Alaska, where there'll be plenty of opportunities for madcap adventures (and, finally, some lovemaking. They still haven't done it, and I'm 20+ chapters into it! Nothing like building the tension, eh?).

I'm thinking about taking a few slices to work to share, and freezing a few more. I also promised the Boyfriend I'd bring him one next time I see him (though if that's not til Monday, he may be SOL.) The fewer I have in the house, ready to eat, the better. :D

More bad days than good

Considering that I had meltdown moments on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday of last week, I'm really not surprised that the scale didn't behave the way I wanted it to today.

Add in the fact that I chugged a 16.9-ounce bottle of water on the drive up from the Boyfriend's to my WW meeting, and the cause of my gain is easy to see. It was either too much bad food or the water that I thought I'd manage to eliminate when I arrived — or a combination of the two.

The damage could have been worse, I suppose. I was up just 1 pound (and some of that could have been from the water).

Regardless, it's a reminder that I need to have more good days than bad if I'm going to see the scale go in the right direction. Here's to a much better week.

And here's today's food journal — at least what I managed to remember to shoot.

Breakfast after my WI was a clementine (I ate another one just like it on the drive up from Eric's). For lunch, I ate leftover beans with a turkey hot dog on half a Sandwich Thin. Dessert was a Diet Soda Cupcake, halved, filled with 1 Tablespoon of FF Cool Whip and then frozen for about 15 minutes. Can I just say yum?

My at-work snacks were a stick of RF sharp cheddar cheese and then, a little later, my newest find: Goldfish S'mores. You get chocolate goldfish, graham goldfish and these cute little fish-shaped marshmallows. Delicious! And a serving has just 3 Points.

For dinner, I made stuffed bell peppers in the Crock Pot. It was the recipe our WW leader, Colleen, shared with us this week, and it sounded so good that I picked up the missing ingredients on the way home. Half the recipe made 3 servings, so I froze two for quick dinners later on.

No real activity to speak of today, but I got a few hundred more words written on my manuscript for the NaNoWriMo. I'm making a walk a priority in the morning though, whether it's cold outside or not.

I know, I know. Those are brave words for someone who hates being cold! :D

Here's my Tweet, Eat, Post chart:

Food	Units
2 clementines	1
1 cup bush's baked beans, turkey dog & 1/2 sandwich thin	8
diet soda cupcake, halved, w/ 1 t ff cool whip	2
rf sharp cheddar stick	2
1 svg s'mores goldfish crackers	3
stuffed bell pepper	5
yoplait parfait - lemon torte	2
1/2 oz peanuts	2
Total:	25

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Cheesy goodness

Tonight after work it was the GOOD kind of cheesy goodness I enjoyed — a 2-Point grilled cheese made with a Sandwich Thin and a slice of reduced-fat American cheese.

Too bad I can't say the same for last night. After a stressful Friday night at work, I hitthe Del Taco drive-thru. I got not only a

cheeseburger and small fries, but also a taco — and I ate every bite. And that was after buying a bag of cheddar and sour cream Ruffles

from the office vending machine at about 10 p.m.

What was I thinking? I don't even want to think about how many Points were in all that food!

I am, however, trying to figure out why I had different reactions to the same stressor. Friday night, after a stressful night at work, I ate. Tonight, I had an equally stressful night, but it almost seemed like I was too busy to eat. (I wish that happened more often!) :D

Maybe it was another one of those "I blew it" moments. After breakfast and lunch,

I had just 4 Points to last me for the rest of the day.

Maybe, subconsciously, I decided that I'd already blown it, so I kept on eating. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

Hmm ... Any other ideas out there? I'd really like to figure it out so it doesn't happen again.

Now, back to today's photographic food journal. I didn't wake up until noon, so breakfast was a nonstarter. Lunch was grilled zucchini, quinoa and black beans and 2 ounces of ham and a slice of cheese on a Western Alternatives onion bagel. Pretty tasty, if I do say so myself — and only 6 Points.

After lunch, I took a nice, brisk 26-minute walk around the neighborhood — in the cold with snow flurries flying in the air. When I told the Boyfriend that, proud of my accomplishment, he told me I should have walked longer. Hmph.

My at-work snacks consisted of the bag of mini Oreos I took in with me (1 Point), two clementines (another 1 Point — they were on sale at Fry'

s for $2.47 a bag) and some light Pina Colada yogurt (also 1 Point.)

Can I just say, I love

that Kroger brand Pina Colada light yogurt? I'd never seen it before, but it, too, was on sale and I decided I had to try it.

Yum! I'll be buying that again, for sure.

Dinner was a salad with balsamic vinegar and 1 tsp EVOO, followed by some Jell-O

sugar-free dark chocolate mousse — a total of 7 Points. I took an ounce of peanuts (4 Points) and a Kashi TLC bar to snack on throughout the evening. (Sorry. Forgot to snap those — but you've seen them here before.)

And that brings me back to my post-work grilled cheese — a much healthier choice than last night's fast-food fest.

My memory is like a ...

If I could remember the rest of that saying, I'd fill in the blank. Seriously — my memory just keeps getting worse. I'd take that herb that's supposed to help improve your memory if I could only remember what it is ... :D

Just kidding — I know its gingko biloba. This is just my way of letting you know that I forgot to take a picture of dinner. It's not like last night, when dinner was so horrible that I wouldn't have wanted to show you had I remembered to take the pictures.

No, tonight's dinner was pretty good: A salad w/ homemade dressing (1 tsp EVOO and a couple splashes of balsamic vinegar and a WW Smart Ones flatbread sandwich (Points total of 7 — 6 for the sandwich and 1 for the salad). After dinner, I had some Jell-O chocolate mousse and later, at work, a chewy granola bar.

Add in my at-work snack of a Diet Soda cupcake (2) and banana mousse (2), which I did remember to shoot (although the photo looks fuzzier than it did on the preview screen), and that makes for a day's total of 25. The chart below says 22 because it subtracted the 3 APs I earned on my walk ... but I don't have to use them all if I don't want to. Haven't yet decided if I want a midnight snack when I leave work — and if so, what I want.

Decisions, decisions!

Food	Units
egg-o-muffin http://bit.ly/3e7rsg on light english muffin w/ 1 tsp. lt. mayo	4
42-minute walk [-3]	-3
instant brown rice in single-serve cup, 1 cup hormel turkey chili & grilled zucchini	7
banana "mousse" w/ diet soda cupcake	4
ww smart ones steak & ranch flatbread sandwich	6
salad w/ pickled beets, a sprinkle of bacon bits, 1 tsp evoo/balsamic vinegar	1
jell-o mousse	1
oatmeal raisin granola bar	2
Total:	22

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Off to a much better start (11/12 Breakfast & Lunch)

There still aren't enough hours in the day to get done all I want to do ... but today I chose exercise.

After being up until 3:30 a.m., I slept until about 10:30. Then I got up and had a healthy breakfast. I had two of these Egg-o-Muffins in the freezer, so I heated them up, threw them on a light English muffin smeared with just a little light mayo and had a delicious (and filling) breakfast to power me through the ext

ra-long walk I had planned. It weighed in at 4 Points (2 for the eggs, 1 each for the muffin and mayo).

Next, I fired up the iPod and hit the pavement. I headed into a nearby neighborhood with a few good-sized hills, figuring I needed the hills after last night's book club meeting fiasco.

All told, the Nike+ said I walked 3.8 km (a little over 2 miles) in 42 minutes. Now, I know this isn't quite right, because it stopped registering my pace (and progress) at least three times. I probably walked closer to 3 1/2 ... but that's just a guesstimate.

When I got back to the house, I spent a little time online, uploading my walk to the Nike Web site and checking Twitter, then headed to the kitchen to make myse

lf some lunch before work. I opted for quick and easy with some instant brown rice, Hormel turkey chili and grilled zucchini. Yum — and all for just 7 Points!

Now, it's time to get ready for work. No writing for me this morning. But I do feel better for having treated my body to the nice, brisk walk it needed.

Not the best day

My plan — to eat something before I went to my Book Club meeting so I wouldn't partake of so many goodies — didn't work. I didn't get a chance to eat the Quinoa and Black Beans I'd planned on (recipe still coming, I promise!), and arrived at the meeting STARVED.

You can guess what happened next: I inhaled about 10 bite-sized quiches, several chips with salsa and way too much cheesy artichoke dip with pita chips. Two pieces of cake also were involved (but, to my credit, they were small pieces of cake — and it was a light berries and cream type of thing, not rich chocolate).

Needless to say, I forgot all about taking photos.

But I'm not going to let that derail my week. No siree! Instead, I'm going to take a little bit longer walk in the morning, before I settle in to read my Golden Heart entry ... the deadline to ship that puppy off is creeping ever nearer, and I want to read through it at least one more time before I make the final print so I can make copies and put it in the mail.

As I told my friends over at Blog to Lose yesterday, it's about persistence, not perfection.

Now if you'll excuse me, the midnight munchies are about to strike. Instead of saying "screw it" and hitting the all-night drive thru for some fries, I'm going to go home and make myself some "fries" on the George Foreman grill.

As Hungry Girl might say, baby steps, people ... baby steps.

Amazing what a week of strict tracking will do ...

I had my WI yesterday morning, but didn't get a minute to blog about it all afternoon. (Headed straight to the Boyfriend's after the meeting, and then he wanted to run to Prescott to buy a new GPS ... We had an early dinner at Olive Garden — only 10 Points for me! — but I ruined it by eating HIS leftovers at about 8 p.m. That's what happens when I eat dinner at 3 p.m.!)

Anyway, back to WI — I was down 4.4 pounds! Yep. I not only lost the 3 I gained last week, but a few more for good measure, and I think I have my new photo food journal to thank. I'm planning to keep it up again this week and see what happens.

Getting used to it

This visual food journal thing takes some getting used to. I forgot to snap photos of several things I ate this weekend. OK ... perhaps I purposely forgot a few. Nah ... I wouldn't do that! :D

Saturday started out with those yummy pumpkin pancakes from Green Lite Bites and some sugar-free syrup (5 Points total).

Lunch a couple of hours later was a burrito from Burritos Fiesta, a delicious little place next to (you guessed it) TCBY. I capped off a tasty chicken burrito with a kid-sized pumpkin yogurt from next door (another 12 Points).

Having eaten too many points by that time (a total of 17 if I'm estimating the burrito correctly at 10), I admit it: I went a little nuts. That darn "I already messed up, so screw it" attitude crept in. At work, I ate a Halloween-sized box of Hot Tamales, then went for the healthy apple I'd bought (2 more Points).

Tried to get back on track at dinner, eating a nice, healthy salad complete with a dressing of EVOO/balsamic vinegar and 2 ounces of turkey and cheese on a Sandwich Thin (4 Points).

After dinner, I had another Kashi TLC dark chocolate coconut bar and some Brach's Autumn Mix (5 Points total for both). I also munched on another Halloween-pack of Whoppers and a bag of microwave popcorn that you didn't see in the pictures, bringing the day's total to 32. And I doubt I had enough FPs left to cover it. :P

Today, I slept through breakfast. I didn't get up until almost 2 p.m., actually. Even so, I had some pumpkin pie oatmeal when I woke up (2). Then, I took a Sandwich Thin with hummus to the movie theater with me when I went to see "Couples Retreat" (2 more).

The good news? I said "no" to the movie popcorn! Go, me! (I have to celebrate the small successes.)

After the movie, I hit the mall. Read somewhere that Cost Plus World Market had a sale on Torani sugar-free syrups. (They were still a bit pricey at two bottles for $12, but I'll probably pick a couple up on payday.) I stopped in the food court for a butterscotch pecan cookie (5 Points, bringing the total so far to 9 for the day).

Then, feeling a bit annoyed with the Boyfriend, who knew I had the day off and chose not to spend it with me, I decided to have dinner at Long John Silvers. (I know, I know. Stupid, self-destructive thing to do.) I thought long and hard before doing it, though, knowing that I'd have to take a picture of it to show you all. Ordered the fish/chicken combo basket, with fries and 2 hush puppies. They gave me the 2 fish combo instead. I only ate about half the fries, so the meal totaled about 16 1/2 Points (12 for 2 pieces of fish, 2 for the hush puppies and 2 1/2 for the fries I ate).

Wow. Looking at it that way, that's a pretty steep price tag. Had I gotten the chicken plank I wanted, it would have been only 13 1/2. Only?! :P

Even though that brought my day's total to 25 1/2, I wanted something else sweet after dinner and a stint at Barnes & Noble, where I sat in the cafe and wrote for a while. Instead of buying something really awful for me (like one of the delicious-looking Red Velvet Cupcakes from the BN bakery case), I picked up a cake mix and went home to make diet soda cupcakes. Chocolate cake mix with a can of Cherry Coke. Mmm ... even with no icing, they're pretty tasty.

Remarkably, I stopped with just one (2 Points). Woo-hoo (another small success)!

After spending several more hours writing (my word count is up to 8,755 now), I popped some popcorn using the paper bag trick (regular popcorn in a brown paper bag. It pops up just like the microwave stuff, but tastes fresher.). And now I'm here, totaling up the damage ... 28 1/2 Points for the day.

Actually, that's not as bad as I thought it might be. Cool. Maybe I'll actually see a good result at the scale in the morning.