Lost month

Has it really been almost a month since I last blogged?

You know what that means — I've been a bad, bad girl. A month of not counting Points (and eating everything in sight) has surely taken a toll ... but I'm afraid to get on the scale to see just how much of one. I've never had a meltdown of such major proportions.

Yesterday, I had my first on-plan day in I don't know how long. I gave myself 25 Points and ate 25 Points. No more, no less.

It really wasn't that hard, either. So why have I been eating like a fiend for so long? I can't explain it.

I suppose I've just been lazy. I've been writing (finished another manuscript) and haven't wanted to spend time in the kitchen. The fact that I haven't had money to attend WW meetings is also a factor. And of course, time with the Boyfriend doesn't help any.

Now, I'm shooting for two days in a row. So far, so good: Had an egg on a Bagel Thin with a slice of RF American cheese and tomato for a total of 4 Points.

Four down, 21 to go!

Best-laid plans

Work got in the way of my healthy dinner plan tonight.

I decided not to do the Crock Pot BBQ because I wanted beef stroganoff (a lightened-up version of one of my fave low-carb recipes). I took the beef out of the freezer and left for work.

However, by the time I got a chance to take my dinner break, it was an hour later than I normally go … and we were close enough to finishing for the night that it didn’t make much sense for me to leave.

That’s when the wheels fell off my wagon: I munched on popcorn and Goldfish crackers. (At least I didn’t hit the vending machine, eh?)

And when I got off work at 11 p.m., I didn’t do what I should have, which was head home and cook dinner for myself.

Nope. I ended up at the Wendy’s drive-thru instead. More proof that old habits die hard.

Well, it was still a more successful day than the one before. It’s a start!

Must regain control

I started out today with the idea that today was the day I was going to take control of my diet again.

Boy, was that a mistake … or rather a series of them.

First, I woke up before 10 a.m. and didn’t actually get out of bed until 12:30 because I was busy writing. The good news? I added a very nice set of scenes to my novel. The bad news? I didn’t eat breakfast, so …

When I left the house for lunch, I was starving. I went out for half a sandwich and some soup — chicken & white bean chili — and ended up getting an oatmeal scotchie, too. Those are quite possibly my favorite cookies (with the exception of Thin Mints).

Then I headed to work, where the newsroom (that’s us) was hosting a Hawaiian luau in the conference room. Not only did I have 3 slices of ham & pineapple pizza then … but I ate two more later on, because the leftovers were hanging around the newsroom.

I skipped dinner, having eaten the two additional slices at about 6 p.m. … but then at about 9 p.m., I started munching on some trail mix. And when I got home from work at 1 a.m., I ate a pulled pork sandwich. (At least it was a HG recipe, so it was only 4 Points!)

Aargh!

I need to stop that, pronto! Hopefully, signing the paperwork with the attorney next Tuesday will help.

But I don’t want to wait until Tuesday to regain control. In the morning, after I dedicate some time to sending out two query letters to potential agents, I’m going to get in some kind of workout. I’ve been letting those slide, what with all last week’s snow shoveling (which doesn’t really count) and the chaos that has become my financial situation.

Can't stop eating crap

It happened again. I ate too many sweets at work, and then, when I got off, went to Del Taco for something salty to "cut the sweet."

I know better. Why did I let that happen? :P

Oh well. Today is a new day, a fresh start. I'll make it a good one.

Something's wrong

I know what I should be doing — so why is it so darn hard to get it done?

Yes, after a good Tuesday, I've spent most of the rest of the week heading off the rails. Bad food choices, little exercise ... the whole enchilada.

So I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with you?"

I know I need to eat less and exercise more. I know I should choose the salad instead of the burger. I know I should be snacking out of the vending machine at work or hitting the drive-thru for late-night snacks.

So what is my problem? Is it a fear of success? Failure? Just a simple matter of being tired of being "good"? Slipping back into bad habits I thought I'd banished?

I don't know. But it stops here. I'm going to get back to work cultivating that "no excuses" attitude. Starting right now.

No after-work snack for me tonight (but I will say yes to some water. I'm dying of thirst right now.) ... and the first thing I'll do in the morning is put on my walking shoes and hit the pavement. Yes, before I even check the computer.

It really is a simple matter of making choices. It's just that lately, I've been making bad ones. That stops here. I have to do this, for myself and for my family and friends. I know they're all pulling for me.

And I want to do it for my wallet. I can think of a ton of other things to spend $12 a week on, that's for sure! :D

Thursday: A mixed bag

Woke up and the home scale told me I weighed 182.4 — down 3 pounds from Tuesday! I also put my Golden Heart entry in the mail, so I was feeling pretty fine this morning.

I treated myself to my favorite salad/pizza lunch from Picazzo's to celebrate, but then took a 20-minute walk afterward. During the walk, I even did a few minutes of jogging — about 5, I think. I lost track.

It was all downhill from there. I overindulged in the tortilla chips that were hanging out in the break room at work ... I shouldn't have eaten even one, because I know I have a hard time stopping. But I ate one ... and then another one ... and then I lost count. I probably used at least 10 FPs tonight, and I'm still hungry.

I'm thinking about eating more of the pork I had for dinner when I leave work. But being ribs cooked in the slow cooker with green salsa, it's not the healthiest meal I've ever made. It was, however, delicious. A coworker gave me the recipe when he moved to Hawaii and gave me his Crock Pot.

Then again, I don't need pork at 2 a.m. I should just go home and go to sleep. The pork will be there in the morning (and healthier, because I'll be able to skim off some of the fat once it's chilled).

I think I just successfully talked myself out of snacking on pork! Let's hope so. I'd like to see the scale continue to drop.

Not the best day

My plan — to eat something before I went to my Book Club meeting so I wouldn't partake of so many goodies — didn't work. I didn't get a chance to eat the Quinoa and Black Beans I'd planned on (recipe still coming, I promise!), and arrived at the meeting STARVED.

You can guess what happened next: I inhaled about 10 bite-sized quiches, several chips with salsa and way too much cheesy artichoke dip with pita chips. Two pieces of cake also were involved (but, to my credit, they were small pieces of cake — and it was a light berries and cream type of thing, not rich chocolate).

Needless to say, I forgot all about taking photos.

But I'm not going to let that derail my week. No siree! Instead, I'm going to take a little bit longer walk in the morning, before I settle in to read my Golden Heart entry ... the deadline to ship that puppy off is creeping ever nearer, and I want to read through it at least one more time before I make the final print so I can make copies and put it in the mail.

As I told my friends over at Blog to Lose yesterday, it's about persistence, not perfection.

Now if you'll excuse me, the midnight munchies are about to strike. Instead of saying "screw it" and hitting the all-night drive thru for some fries, I'm going to go home and make myself some "fries" on the George Foreman grill.

As Hungry Girl might say, baby steps, people ... baby steps.

Absent since my birthday

I've been absent from the blog since last Wednesday ... and the scale showed my lapse yesterday. I'm up 5 pounds. Ugh.

Blame it on my birthday, a food-filled weekend with the Boyfriend, a Friday night of raging

munchies (seriously — I could NOT stop eating. I thought it had something to do with a crappy day at work, but TOM started again Saturday, when I wasn't expecting it. It's early). I didn't journal and I indulged way too much.

I could also blame part of the gain on not drinking enough water and weighing in the

afternoon instead of the morning.

Whatever my excuses, I'm now that much further from hitting my goal weight by Thanksgiving. Why is it that I can't seem to get out of the 180s? Last week, I was getting close. Now I'm nearly back at 190 again.

Aargh!

Well, it's early enough for me to head out for a walk before it gets too warm. Funny how some of my online friends are dealing with snow, but here in Arizona — at least the part where I am today — it's going to be in the 70s. Flagstaff's supposed to get into the 60s, but I'm at the Boyfriend's again today.

Yesterday, we took a hike — literally. I have some beautiful pictures of the scenery around this little trail I didn't know existed. It's hard to believe that all these different landscapes exist in one little area.

But first, I'm off for that walk. No excuses! (Yes, I'm still trying to cultivate that attitude. It's going to take a while ...)

Off track ... again

I could blame the Boyfriend. I always seem to have trouble staying OP when I have weekends off and spend them with him.

But he's not the only one to blame. If only I could learn to say "no" when the good stuff — like mac & cheese and chocolate malts — are on offer.

I'll blame the dentist for that whole malt thing. I had a root canal Wednesday morning, and my mouth hasn't felt the same since. I told myself I'd let myself have a milkshake on Wednesday, but got it at the wrong time ... right after my trip to the dentist, while my mouth was still mostly numb. By the time evening rolled around, my mouth hurt like crazy and I had a second one to make it feel better.

The mouth was still sore on Saturday. Another malt and a half were on offer, and I said "yes."

Silly, silly me. Now it's time to get back on track. A few days will not make me regain all the weight I've lost ... but if I continue to eat like there's no tomorrow, all bets are off.

Stop me before I munch again!