Out of balance and out of control

It's been another rough month for me, and I think I weigh more now than I did when April started. (I can't be sure because I've been avoiding the scale again.)

Somewhere along this journey, I've lost my way. Bad habits have crept back into my life: inactivity ... not tracking what I eat ... eating way too much junk ... that whole "the day is ruined so I might as well keep eating" attitude I thought I'd vanquished ...

The Boyfriend says it's because my life is out of balance. I'm spending too much time writing and not enough on other pursuits.

Maybe that's true. I do find myself avoiding the kitchen because I'm on a roll with my writing, and then I end up letting some drive-thru do the cooking for me. The problem is, I've neglected my writing life for years. Now that I feel like it's starting to go places, I don't want to slow down.

Still, that doesn't mean my healthy-living efforts should grind to a halt. Somehow, some way I need to find a balance (something I've tried to figure out before, without much success).

Anyone out there have any ideas?

I know, I know: If we all knew how to strike that delicate balance, we'd all be in shape and healthy.

For now, I think I need to get back to one basic principle: Taking things one day — one choice — at a time. Like an addict, I need to focus on just one day ... one day where I take a walk and avoid eating a lot of junk food.

Just one day can't be that difficult. Can it?

(Finally) ready to face the music

Well, I hopped on the scale this morning for the first time in at least a month. As I suspected, what I saw wasn't pretty.

At my last WW meeting on Jan 3o, I was 190.4. Today, on the home scale (because I still can't afford my meeting while my paycheck is being garnished), I was 198. That's a gain of 7.6 pounds in a little less than a month.

Bad, yes — but not as bad as I feared it might be. At least I'm still in One-derland. Barely, but it counts.

It's time for me to get serious again. I can't keep doing what I've been doing lately and expect different results.

Yes, I've been eating crap. I know my choices have been a problem ... I can't have a burger and fries from Wendy's for lunch and then have tacos and more fries (from Del Taco) for dinner. I can't have a brunch of pancakes from IHOP and then eat a slice of Godiva double chocolate cheesecake as an afternoon snack.

I could blame the Boyfriend. He certainly "helps" me eat things I shouldn't. He doesn't seem to understand that, when I put a certain amount of food on my plate, that's a portion and that's all I plan to eat.

But it's not all his fault. He's not with me when I buy junk out of the vending machine at work, or when I drink a diet Dr Pepper instead of the H2O I know I should be drinking. He's also usually nowhere in sight when I opt NOT to take a walk because the weather's crappy or I'd rather be writing or ... I can't think of the other excuses I've been coming up with lately.

I need to start moving more again. Lately, the only exercise I've been getting has been walking from the couch to the fridge. Not good, I know.

I've been in what Roni calls a funk. I've been feeling beaten down and stressed out by my finances ... and I've been feeling like "what's the point? Nothing I do matters anyway." I've been eating to compensate.

Logically, I can see this. I'm just having a tough time stopping myself.

Today so far, I've done pretty well. I had one of those new Thomas' Bagel Thins w/ light cream cheese for breakfast and lunch was a California roll from my favorite sushi place, Hiro's.

I even got some exercise, in the form of shoveling more of this damn snow we keep getting. The crap from our last storm was finally starting to melt, so of course we had to be "treated" to some more. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate snow?

Seeing that near-200 on the scale just might be the jolt I need to rein myself in and get my eating back under control. I certainly hope so.

Another decent day

That makes two in a row! I feel so much better than I did earlier this week that I'm doing a little happy dance right now.

I ate a little more today than yesterday ... and succumbed to the lure of a chocolate-covered pretzel rod (2 Points) at the Barnes & Noble Cafe this afternoon before work. It was on sale for 49 cents, so when I saw it only had 2 Points, I just couldn't say no.

Do you guys ever end up eating something you totally didn't plan on just because you're out and it looks good? I'd just had a container of Stonyfield Farms Chocolate Underground yogurt, so I certainly didn't need a chocolate-covered pretzel.

Overall, including the bowl of Special K and skim milk I ate after I got home from work, I consumed 28 Points today.

That's not bad. Granted, I'm allowed 23 ... but if you factor in the 5 FPs I can add to each day (provided I have them, which technically I don't, unless I start my week yesterday), I'm right on track. Maybe I should start my week Friday, then! :D

I was a little hungrier today than yesterday. Maybe that's because it was a carb-heavy day, with sushi and yogurt for lunch, soup and an apple with peanut butter for snacks and a veggie corn dog and mac & cheese for dinner, then the cereal snack.

Must work on getting more protein. Some days I wonder if I shouldn't just start doing Atkins again. Then I remember that, even though I once honestly thought I'd be able to do the low-carb thing for the rest of my life, things changed when I met the carb-loving Boyfriend.

Still no exercise, though. I only logged 2,138 steps on the pedometer. Pathetic. :S (But considering I slept til 11 a.m., then sat on my butt at B&N and then work, I guess 2,000 steps isn't so bad.)

In the "adventures in life" category, I've decided I'm going to try something new with money.

In keeping with the WW theory that tracking helps you take control, I'm going to start keeping track of what I spend, and what I spend it on (bills, entertainment, food, whatnot).

I haven't quite worked out the system yet, but I did buy a little notebook to start tracking in (4 of them for $1.08 at the Dollar Store). It'll be something with a key code (E=Entertainment, F=Food, U=Utilities, A=Auto, R=Restaurants ... etc.) so I can see exactly where my money goes.

I expect I'll be shocked and sickened at how much I waste. Guess I'll find out soon enough, eh?

Now, it's time to take some NyQuil gelcaps and knock myself out until tomorrow. As long as I wake up in time to go to work at 4, all will be well.

An award & a contest

Kelly over at Pounds for Prom just honored me with a Beautiful Blogger Award.

Now I'm supposed to write seven random things about myself (and nominate seven people of my own).

Here are seven things that some of you might already know, but many of you won't:

1. I was a band geek in high school. At various times, I played flute and piccolo, and was in the color guard. All that marching helped keep my weight in check.

2. I spent a semester in England (eating Yorkshire pudding, giant jacket potatoes and pizza topped with CORN ... yes, you read right: CORN) in college. I went to Harlaxton College, the University of Evansville's British campus, which was featured in exterior shots for the Liam Neeson/Catherine Zeta Jones movie "The Haunting." I did a lot of walking while I was over there, so the bad eating habits didn't affect my weight too much (I'd already gained the freshman 30 by then!)

3. I watch repeats of "NCIS" and "Law and Order: Criminal Intent" and "SVU" on USA.

4. Thanks to the Boyfriend, I'm now a member of the WWE Universe. Yes, I tune in to "Monday Night Raw," "ECW" and "Smackdown" whenever I get a chance. Since I work nights (3-7 p.m.), I'm not always able to watch.

5. I'm not a huge fan of exercise. Big surprise, right? If I loved to work out and ate properly, I wouldn't be the proud owner of a weight loss blog, now would I?

6. My mom used to say I have champagne tastes and a beer budget.

7. Both my parents died in 2003, within a month of one another. That fall, after their deaths, my roommate and I started doing Atkins. I weighed 276 when I started. I low-carbbed my way to 169 (with a goal of 160) and then met my Boyfriend, started eating carbs again and regained about 70 pounds. Weighed 246 when I joined WW and am back down to the 180s.

I'll have to think about who I want to nominate and get back to you on that one.

Now, on to the contest. I love soup ... especially Progresso's light soups. They're fantastically filling and so low in Points. I can eat the whole can without blowing it.

Roni's giving us a chance to win soup:

I entered Roni's Souper Duper Contest!

Check out Roni’s Weight Loss Blog for more information.

Battling "What the hell" weekend-itis

Yes, I've been struggling the last few days (since Thanksgiving late-night, actually). However, that did not keep me from seeing the scale go in the right direction at today's WI.

I was down 2.8 pounds, for a total of 56.6 since starting WW. And that puts me at 14.4 pounds left to go to hit my WW goal, meaning I'm almost as low as I was back in October.

It's about time! I've been bouncing in the 180s for much, much too long.

Anyway, back to my weekend problem. I stayed pretty much OP through the week, even with Thanksgiving. I didn't pig out at the big feast, and I only had ONE piece of pumpkin pie. But when Friday evening rolled around, I for some reason decided to chuck it ... I ate pretty badly all weekend long.

I need to figure out why that happens. This time, I can't blame it on the Boyfriend, because I was on my own (and at work and writing on my novel, which hit the NaNoWriMo halfway point of 25K ... unfortunately, it's supposed to be at the finish line of 50K by Nov. 30.)

So today, I'm getting back in the food journal habit, starting with the afternoon snacks. (Breakfast and lunch are already over, and not snapped.) And right now, it's off for a quick walk before I head in to work.

Counting it as a victory

I had my WI Monday, but went to the evening meeting in Cottonwood instead of my regular morning one in Flagstaff. Their scale said I weighed exactly the same as last Monday.

Since I weigh heavier in the afternoon, I'm going to take that as a sign that I actually was down a bit from last week. Even if not, I should count myself lucky after the not-great weekend I had. The food journal fell by the wayside, and I ate several things I shouldn't have — starting with a delicious (but not-so-nutritious) barbecue bacon burger at my writer's group meeting Saturday.

The scale should be down now. I've been battling a 36-hour bug, and spent last night throwing up and doing other unsavory things. Today, I've eaten very little: A junior burger from Sonic, a small cone from McDonald's and (the worst offender) a 6-Point bag of Doritos from the vending machine at work. Why is it that the bags you get in multi-packs are only 3 Points, but the vending machine bags are double that? Not fair!

So I've only eaten 16 Points for the day. Guess I should go home and make myself a healthy 7-Point snack. Perhaps part of the reason I feel like crap right now is because I haven't eaten enough — or enough of the right things — today.

I hope so. I told the Boyfriend, who gave me whatever I had (he had it Sunday night; I had it Monday), that if that's what it's like to be pregnant, I don't want to be pregnant. I hate puking. :P

Cheesy goodness

Tonight after work it was the GOOD kind of cheesy goodness I enjoyed — a 2-Point grilled cheese made with a Sandwich Thin and a slice of reduced-fat American cheese.

Too bad I can't say the same for last night. After a stressful Friday night at work, I hitthe Del Taco drive-thru. I got not only a

cheeseburger and small fries, but also a taco — and I ate every bite. And that was after buying a bag of cheddar and sour cream Ruffles

from the office vending machine at about 10 p.m.

What was I thinking? I don't even want to think about how many Points were in all that food!

I am, however, trying to figure out why I had different reactions to the same stressor. Friday night, after a stressful night at work, I ate. Tonight, I had an equally stressful night, but it almost seemed like I was too busy to eat. (I wish that happened more often!) :D

Maybe it was another one of those "I blew it" moments. After breakfast and lunch,

I had just 4 Points to last me for the rest of the day.

Maybe, subconsciously, I decided that I'd already blown it, so I kept on eating. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

Hmm ... Any other ideas out there? I'd really like to figure it out so it doesn't happen again.

Now, back to today's photographic food journal. I didn't wake up until noon, so breakfast was a nonstarter. Lunch was grilled zucchini, quinoa and black beans and 2 ounces of ham and a slice of cheese on a Western Alternatives onion bagel. Pretty tasty, if I do say so myself — and only 6 Points.

After lunch, I took a nice, brisk 26-minute walk around the neighborhood — in the cold with snow flurries flying in the air. When I told the Boyfriend that, proud of my accomplishment, he told me I should have walked longer. Hmph.

My at-work snacks consisted of the bag of mini Oreos I took in with me (1 Point), two clementines (another 1 Point — they were on sale at Fry'

s for $2.47 a bag) and some light Pina Colada yogurt (also 1 Point.)

Can I just say, I love

that Kroger brand Pina Colada light yogurt? I'd never seen it before, but it, too, was on sale and I decided I had to try it.

Yum! I'll be buying that again, for sure.

Dinner was a salad with balsamic vinegar and 1 tsp EVOO, followed by some Jell-O

sugar-free dark chocolate mousse — a total of 7 Points. I took an ounce of peanuts (4 Points) and a Kashi TLC bar to snack on throughout the evening. (Sorry. Forgot to snap those — but you've seen them here before.)

And that brings me back to my post-work grilled cheese — a much healthier choice than last night's fast-food fest.

Amazing what a week of strict tracking will do ...

I had my WI yesterday morning, but didn't get a minute to blog about it all afternoon. (Headed straight to the Boyfriend's after the meeting, and then he wanted to run to Prescott to buy a new GPS ... We had an early dinner at Olive Garden — only 10 Points for me! — but I ruined it by eating HIS leftovers at about 8 p.m. That's what happens when I eat dinner at 3 p.m.!)

Anyway, back to WI — I was down 4.4 pounds! Yep. I not only lost the 3 I gained last week, but a few more for good measure, and I think I have my new photo food journal to thank. I'm planning to keep it up again this week and see what happens.

File this one under 'things that make you go hmm'

Those of you who read my blog over at Blog to Lose know that the Boyfriend and I got into a tiff Monday. He wanted me to fetch and carry (like he always does, somehow thinking that's helping me get more activity) and I didn't want to (like I usually don't. Why should I jump when he says jump?).

He yelled, and the words "fat" and "a$$" came up. He also asserted that all I need to do to lose weight is get more exercise ... like the macaroni and cheese, french fries, fried chicken and other unhealthy foods he's always tempting me to eat aren't a huge culprit in my failure to lose the last 15-20 pounds.

Later, he apologized. But he also brought up a good point: "You say your a$$ is fat all the time ... why is it OK for you to say it, but not me?"

A very good point, indeed. It reminded me of something my WW leader said once: We often say things to/about ourselves that we'd never put up with a friend saying.

And that begs the question: WHY? Why is it OK for me to call myself fat, yet I don't like it at all when the Boyfriend says the same thing?

The short answer? It's not.

We should all be a little kinder to ourselves. Let's celebrate our successes instead of focusing on our failures.

I'm particularly bad at that: I keep focusing on the weight I still have to lose instead of remembering that I've already lost 50+ pounds. In fact, I can tell you exactly how much weight I still had to lose as of my last WI: 18.2 pounds. But I had to look it up to know how much I've lost in all (53.8 pounds).

There's something wrong with that. I should be able to call that number to mind effortlessly. I've lost 53.8 pounds ... Yes, I have a few more to go — but I should still be celebrating what I've already accomplished.

Basically, I've been maintaining for a year. I hit the 50-pounds lost mark right around my birthday in 2008 — ever since, I've been bouncing around the 180s. My WW goal is still 170 (2 pounds under the max weight for my height).

I can get there, I know I can. Yes, I do need to get more exercise — at least 30 minutes most days of the week. But fetching for the Boyfriend isn't going to cut it. More long walks ... bike rides ... even jogging.

And I have to put the kibosh on eating crap, especially when I'm with the Boyfriend. (He really is a huge culprit.)

Time to live by the wise, wise words of Yoda: "There is no try. Do or do not." It's time for me to buckle down and just do it!

Absent since my birthday

I've been absent from the blog since last Wednesday ... and the scale showed my lapse yesterday. I'm up 5 pounds. Ugh.

Blame it on my birthday, a food-filled weekend with the Boyfriend, a Friday night of raging

munchies (seriously — I could NOT stop eating. I thought it had something to do with a crappy day at work, but TOM started again Saturday, when I wasn't expecting it. It's early). I didn't journal and I indulged way too much.

I could also blame part of the gain on not drinking enough water and weighing in the

afternoon instead of the morning.

Whatever my excuses, I'm now that much further from hitting my goal weight by Thanksgiving. Why is it that I can't seem to get out of the 180s? Last week, I was getting close. Now I'm nearly back at 190 again.

Aargh!

Well, it's early enough for me to head out for a walk before it gets too warm. Funny how some of my online friends are dealing with snow, but here in Arizona — at least the part where I am today — it's going to be in the 70s. Flagstaff's supposed to get into the 60s, but I'm at the Boyfriend's again today.

Yesterday, we took a hike — literally. I have some beautiful pictures of the scenery around this little trail I didn't know existed. It's hard to believe that all these different landscapes exist in one little area.

But first, I'm off for that walk. No excuses! (Yes, I'm still trying to cultivate that attitude. It's going to take a while ...)

Happy birthday to me

I can't remember if I mentioned it here, but today is my birthday ... and now that I'm hitting the big 3-8, I lose a Point.

That's right. Just by virtue of being a day older, I now get just 23 Points a day instead of 24. How fair is that? It's even worse when I consider that I'm not all that good at limiting myself to 24.

Thank goodness for those handy FPs. I get a feeling I'll be using some just to get by — at least at first.

23 Points just doesn't sound like many. And I'm hovering right near the 170s, so I'll lose another one, too ... As the Boyfriend said, "You're going to have to start eating a lot of food with lower Points values." Ah, if only he weren't the prime culprit in getting me to eat high-Points foods! :D

As for today, it went pretty well. I took a 20-minute walk. The Nike+ still wasn't working, but I think I fixed it by trying what the tech support folks suggested again when I got back in from my walk. (Don't ask me why it didn't work the first time. Electronic gadgets are a mystery to me!)

I finished my Pita Jungle salad for lunch and had zucchini and a ham sandwich for dinner. Too much chocolate again today. I'm beginning to think that I really am a chocoholic. More on that in another post. I have to process and decide what to do about it first.

On habits

Why is it that good habits are so hard to form, but the bad ones come back at the drop of a hat?

Seriously. I've read that it takes 28 days to form a habit. In theory, that means if you can get up and work out every morning for 28 days, it'll be that much easier to keep doing it for the rest of your life.

It never works out that way. Yet the bad habits I thought I banished are never very far from mind. I thought I'd kicked the soda habit — until the Boyfriend gave me my 100-ounce, insulated jug. Now I fill it with Diet Dr Pepper from the Maverik more often than I care to admit. Worse, I'm starting to crave the caffeine again.

I'm going to try making a deal with myself: I have to finish a full jug of water for every fill-up with soda. Since it usually takes me more than 24 hours to drink one of those things, that'll cut back on the pop consumption. Then, hopefully, it won't be long until I want them even less often.

Struggling to 'get the balance right'

So far, I'm failing — not miserably, but failing nonetheless.

I try to strike a balance between healthy food choices and indulgences — the indulgences won all day Friday and part of Saturday. Sunday, the healthy choices took the prize. I even still have a couple of Points left for a snack when I get home from work. I'm thinking popcorn drizzled with EVOO for 2 Points. Yum-o!

I try to strike a balance between working out and resting. Unfortunately, these days I find myself resting a lot more than I'm working out.

The biggest area I'm trying to find a balance in is life in general. I'm trying to balance the healthy eating and exercise with work and (in my off hours) work on my writing career. That's a lot of balls to keep up in the air at once, and I'm not doing a very good job of it. I can't imagine what would be falling by the wayside if I had a husband and kids to take care of. I don't know how Roni does it: Maintaining her weight, working, three blogs, training for a marathon ... I wish I had half her energy and discipline.

It seems that when I'm at work, I'm either stressed or (when it's slow) bored, so I'm snacking a lot. When I'm home, I have time to exercise and eat right, but feel like I should be writing instead. And when I'm writing, I may not be snacking because I'm busy with my novel ... but I'm not taking that walk I know I should take.

I need to strike the right balance wherein I can work out, eat right, hit my goal weight by Thanksgiving, get my novel rewritten in time for the Golden Heart competition (deadline Dec. 2) and still have time to go to work and spend time with the Boyfriend.

That's what I want for my birthday, which is on Wednesday: A recipe for balance.

Anyone have any tips for me? I'll try anything, within reason.

Can it really be that simple?

I went to my normal Monday morning weigh-in this morning after a decent but not great weekend ... and I was down 4.8 pounds.

Of course, that still means I'm up 1.2 from two Mondays ago, but down from last Monday. I'll take it. At least it means the scale's going in the right direction. :D

The big difference? I was alone this weekend, after being with the Boyfriend last weekend. Yes, I know I make poor choices when I'm with him. He doesn't have to push very hard for me to say, "I'd love some mac & cheese" or some french fries or microwave popcorn with real butter.

Why? Because, for me, food = fun. When I'm happy and enjoying myself, food is often involved.

I like fun food. A cheeseburger is a heck of a lot more fun than a salad topped with grilled chicken. Mac & cheese is definitely more fun than, say, brown rice. And chocolate cake or a donut will beat out an apple almost every time.

Bad attitude, I know, but there it is. Give me fun foods and I'm a happy camper.

I think that's why I like Hungry Girl's newsletter: She's always dishing up recipes for things like onion rings, cupcakes and faux fast-food faves — and they're all way healthier than the originals.

I need to work on my attitude. It's a lifestyle, not a diet ... and it doesn't mean a steady intake of salads. There's plenty of room in this lifestyle for sensible indulgences.

While my coworkers were eating pizza ...

... I was enjoying a California roll from my favorite local sushi place. I've been there so often — always ordering the same thing — that when I walked in today, the woman at the podium knew my name and what I wanted.

Hmm ... maybe I should take that as a sign that I eat too many California rolls. I try to go there at least once every other week (and sometimes more like weekly). But it's a good, filling lunch for few WW Points, which makes it a no-brainer choice for me.

Today, I paired it with a small bowl of cantaloupe I picked up while I was at the bank/grocery store. (There are advantages to having a bank with in-store branches.)

Overall, today was a great day — my first in about a week. I plan to make it the first in a string of great choices all weekend long ... something that will be easier because I'm working and the Boyfriend will be doing his own thing all weekend.

I have a meeting of my romance writer's group Saturday, which will make for a long day for me (up early to drive to the meeting an hour and a half away, then back home to work until midnight). That doesn't mean, though, that I have to eat things I know I should avoid. I'm perfectly capable of making good choices — even at a restaurant.

At least I'm going to tell myself I am. I tend to have trouble with that — a bad habit I'd like to change. For some reason, the things I know are safe to order don't appeal nearly as much as the ones that are bad for me. It's like I'm afraid they'll have disappeared off the menu the next time I go to whatever restaurant I'm in, and I'll have missed my LAST chance to eat whatever it is.

Then there's that whole "I'm eating out — why shouldn't I get what I want" attitude to counter. I know that every restaurant meal is not a special occasion and cause to splurge ... but I still have trouble not doing exactly that EVERY darn time I go out.

How do you safely navigate restaurant eating? Any tips on how I can change my mindset?

Off track ... again

I could blame the Boyfriend. I always seem to have trouble staying OP when I have weekends off and spend them with him.

But he's not the only one to blame. If only I could learn to say "no" when the good stuff — like mac & cheese and chocolate malts — are on offer.

I'll blame the dentist for that whole malt thing. I had a root canal Wednesday morning, and my mouth hasn't felt the same since. I told myself I'd let myself have a milkshake on Wednesday, but got it at the wrong time ... right after my trip to the dentist, while my mouth was still mostly numb. By the time evening rolled around, my mouth hurt like crazy and I had a second one to make it feel better.

The mouth was still sore on Saturday. Another malt and a half were on offer, and I said "yes."

Silly, silly me. Now it's time to get back on track. A few days will not make me regain all the weight I've lost ... but if I continue to eat like there's no tomorrow, all bets are off.

Stop me before I munch again!

Dare I say I'm on a roll?

Even though it was a short week (I weighed in last Wednesday because my regular Monday meeting was closed for Labor Day), I still managed to record a loss this week.

That's right: I'm down 1.8 more pounds, for a total of 63 pounds altogether. More exciting still is that I have just 13 pounds left to lose before I hit my WW goal.

Amazing what happens when I actually track every bite that goes into my mouth!

OK, I'm not really amazed. I know tracking is an important part of the plan. I just have to fight my natural tendency, which is to stop writing it down the minute I eat something I know I shouldn't. Sometimes I find that what I thought was really horrible wasn't really that bad.

Then there are times when I discover it's a lot worse than I thought it'd be. For instance, a small

piece of cake with icing has something ridiculous like 12 Points — half my day's allowance. And you can forget about Wendy's Baconator, which has 830 calories, 51 grams of fat and 1 gram of fiber for a WW Points total of 21.

The sad thing

about that is Wendy's introduced its Baconator after I started WW. Had I still been doing Atkins, I could have enjoyed one sans bun. But I can see no place in the WW universe for the Baconator. Maybe on the last day of the week, if I haven't used all my Flex Points yet ...

Like that ever happens.

I guess I should take heart that the Boyfriend ordered one a couple of nights ago (for me he said) and told me it didn't taste that good. Then again, why take his word for it? He's more carbivore than carnivore.

Friend or foe?

When I returned from my vacation in Salt Lake City last month, the Boyfriend gave me a present. You see it at left: a 100-oz. jug.

Discount the neon-orange color, and it could be a great gift. Really, it could ... but only if I manage to fill it with good ol' H2O.

Unfortunately, I've been filling it with diet soda instead.

I thought I had the diet soda habit kicked. For the longest time, I could go days without drinking one ... without even wanting one.

But while I was on vacation, it was all too easy to fall back into the diet soda habit. And the Boyfriend's gift, which I can refill at pretty much any gas station for under $2, hasn't helped. I've been back for two-plus weeks, and I'm still on a soda kick.

What I should start doing is putting $2 in my non-scale victory jar every day I avoid getting a refill. I might have to try that. Why, I could use that kind of cash to finance a new wardrobe when I get to goal!

24 Points worth of cupcakes ...

That's them, over at the right: The Carrot-Pumpkin Cupcakes from the latest issue of Weight Watchers magazine.

They're 3 Points apiece, so if you count the one on the cooling rack in back, that's 24 Points worth of cupcakes.

Thank goodness I didn't eat them all! I actually managed to restrain myself and eat just one, if you can believe it.

Actually, I was more than a little restrained: The recipe said it made 16 cupcakes, but I ended up with 17. I froze nine of them for later and made half a batch of frosting for the rest. I ate one the first night I made them (and gave one to the roommate's husband. I’d have let her have one, too, but she just started doing Atkins again, and they had way too many carbs in them for her.) I ate a second one Monday night when I got home from work.

Then, knowing my dentist was on WW too, I took four of the five that were left to him Tuesday morning, saving just one more to eat myself. My ploy to butter him up didn't work, though: I still need a root canal. Bummer.

Successful or not, that leads me to my tip for the day: If you must bake (and sometimes feel I must), don’t eat all of what you make yourself. Share it — with friends, family, co-workers … whoever you can get to try a “healthy” treat.

(My Boyfriend, unfortunately, need not apply. He doesn’t do healthy. I wish he did, because then I wouldn’t have to stare down a bag of Sour Cream and Onion Ruffles. Right now, I’m winning. I counted out a serving — 11 chips for 4 WW Points — and am studiously avoiding a second helping.)