Getting in the right mindset

I'm catching up on episodes of "The Biggest Loser." I have several backed up in my DVR, and I think I stopped watching at about the same time I started concentrating on my novel-writing.

It all comes back to that balance problem of mine. When I'm writing, I'm not doing the weight-loss thing the way I should and vice-versa. I need to find a nice, even balance between the two.

I suppose we all do. If balance came easily, none of us would need to lose weight. We'd all already be perfect. ;)

How about 12 hours on, 12 hours off?

Nah. That won't work. Speaking of things that won't work, have y'all heard of "The Skinny Switch"? I keep watching that infomercial, wondering if it could really be that simple — "two days eating, one day treating."

Then, when I think about it, it's not all that different from WW, with the Flex Points. You could spend 2 days eating just the daily Points allowance, then use a chunk of FPs on that third day, no problem.

Something to think about, I guess. Right now, I'm not so convinced WW is the way to go. I know it works, but for some reason, I've been unable to make it work for me lately, because I've flat-out been unable to stay OP.

I've even entertained the idea of going back on Atkins ... except for the fact that I'm not sure I could eat that way for the rest of my life. There was a time when I thought I could ... but then I fell off the low-carb wagon and couldn't get back on. Also, I never made it to Atkins' "lifetime maintenance" phase. I was perpetually in Ongoing Weight Loss (OWL).

I know I can lose on Atkins, because I lost 110 pounds doing it. Of course, I regained 70 of them once I stopped doing the low-carb thing. It took 2 years to lose it and 2 more to regain it.

Maybe I should shake it up a little bit by trying the Skinny Switch or 6 Week Body Makeover. Then again, maybe I should just stop making excuses and start doing WW properly. I know it works, too.

Could have been worse

Surprise, surprise: I managed to minimize the damage from the delicious but not very healthy barbecue I ate for lunch by eating a smaller dinner. So it is possible for me to not go crazy after making one not-great choice. I'd forgotten that fact.

With a semi-successful day under my belt, let's see if I can achieve two goals tomorrow:

• Another walk of at least 15 minutes in duration.


• Drinking at least 48 ounces of water. (Today, I probably got about 24.)

If I manage that, perhaps I'll add counting Points on Sunday. It's like Roni at RonisWeigh said in a motivational post just the other day:

Pick one thing. Don’t overwhelm yourself with the amount of weight you need to lose. Don’t try to do it all (eat perfectly, exercise, etc) Don’t set yourself up to fail. Don’t beat up on yourself. Most importantly, DO NOT underestimate yourself.

Out of balance and out of control

It's been another rough month for me, and I think I weigh more now than I did when April started. (I can't be sure because I've been avoiding the scale again.)

Somewhere along this journey, I've lost my way. Bad habits have crept back into my life: inactivity ... not tracking what I eat ... eating way too much junk ... that whole "the day is ruined so I might as well keep eating" attitude I thought I'd vanquished ...

The Boyfriend says it's because my life is out of balance. I'm spending too much time writing and not enough on other pursuits.

Maybe that's true. I do find myself avoiding the kitchen because I'm on a roll with my writing, and then I end up letting some drive-thru do the cooking for me. The problem is, I've neglected my writing life for years. Now that I feel like it's starting to go places, I don't want to slow down.

Still, that doesn't mean my healthy-living efforts should grind to a halt. Somehow, some way I need to find a balance (something I've tried to figure out before, without much success).

Anyone out there have any ideas?

I know, I know: If we all knew how to strike that delicate balance, we'd all be in shape and healthy.

For now, I think I need to get back to one basic principle: Taking things one day — one choice — at a time. Like an addict, I need to focus on just one day ... one day where I take a walk and avoid eating a lot of junk food.

Just one day can't be that difficult. Can it?

Not exactly a roll ...

Unless it's a cinnamon roll. However, I am making more of an effort these days.

I'm sorry to say I went off the rails for a few days last week. After going on a 4-hour hike with my coworker, Heather, and her dog, Bandit, on Sunday, I had a wisdom tooth taken out Monday ... and used it as an excuse to eat crap for most of the week.

Yes, more than one milkshake was consumed, along with mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC. I got some healthier "soft foods," too, like yogurt and soup. But of course, the bad-for-me ones were much more appealing.

Hey, I'm being honest here! :D It's much harder to stay OP when the dentist says, "no popcorn, nuts or granola." With popcorn, nuts and granola bars being staple healthy snacks, that makes good choices all the more difficult.

Got back to counting Points Saturday, so this is Day 4 of being back on plan.

Really, I don't know why I do it. I feel so much better when I'm in control and counting my Points. If I knew what made me lose it, maybe I could stop it before it happens.

Today's a busy day. I did some exercise and ate a healthy lunch, and head to my book club meeting later. Since I slept through breakfast, I should have enough Points for a treat or two at the meeting.

On a roll?

No, not a roll with butter and jam. ;) I've successfully completed my fourth straight day on-plan.

OK, I admit to not getting any exercise today. I slept in until noon and then had to make lunch and get ready for work. I was going to head home for my lunch break at 6:30 so I could sneak in a short walk before it got dark, but didn't manage to leave until 7.

Still, today's food choices couldn't have been much better. I'm allowed 25 Points and I ate 25 Points ... unless I head home and make myself a small after-work snack. Even then I'll be at about 27 Points.

For dinner, I tried something new. I had leftover butter beans in the fridge, so I made some whole wheat penne, then sauteed some garlic with the beans. I added a tomato (seeded and chopped) and some basil.

It was delicious — and filling. It's amazing how much better I feel when I'm eating good, healthy foods. When I'm eating crap, I eat a lot more and don't feel nearly as satisfied.

Anyway, here's the recipe. Sorry the picture turned out blurry.



Garlicky Beans with Pasta

2 oz. whole wheat penne

1/2 cup butter beans, with juice

3 cloves garlic (I love garlic)

1 tomato, seeded and diced

sprinkle fresh basil

1 Morningstar Farms Italian Sausage link

2 tsp RF Parmesan cheese

Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain.

In same pan, heat beans and garlic. Cook for a couple of minutes, then add the tomato and basil. Stir pasta back into the pot. (It should absorb the bean liquid pretty quickly.)

While beans are cooking, cook sausage link according to microwave directions. Cut up and add to pot.

Serve in bowl with cheese sprinkled on top.

Serves 1. 8 WW Points.

Another good day

I'm back ... really back!

That's right. It was another good, OP day for me — the third in a row. I had a great lunch (grilled shrimp and veggies over whole wheat couscous for 7 Points), a Frapuccino light & 100-calorie pack of cookies as an afternoon snack, and some cheese before dinner.

Dinner was some whole wheat pasta with spaghetti sauce and a veggie Italian sausage link and a serving of sherbet was in order after dinner. My evening snack (one of Roni's banana oatmeal cups) put me at 26 Points (one more than the 25 I'm now allowed).

I also took a 20-minute walk. I know, I should be getting 60 minutes of exercise ... but I'll have to build up to that. I'm out of shape after taking so much time off. The walk I finished was exhausting enough.

I'm still not happy about being back in the 200s. In fact, I'm rather ticked off. But like I said earlier, it's my own damn fault.

I was watching an episode of Dr. Phil today, the second of two focusing on "the Ultimate Fat Debate." Among the panelists were Kelly Osbourne (who has apparently lost 42 pounds), Jillian Michaels and some trainer wearing a "No Chubbies" T-shirt who kept saying that fat people were that way by choice — they chose not to exercise and to eat poorly.

Naturally, the fat people on the panel took offense. I took offense. But there's some truth to his message. There are a lot of choices to be made — and until very recently, I've been making all the wrong ones.

I've been doing what's easy instead of what's right. It's easy to grab a drive-thru dinner and sit on my butt. It's right to cook my own meals (even if it takes away from my writing time) and get some exercise (ditto).

Being fat doesn't make me a bad person, and there's no moral imperative for me to lose weight. I won't automatically be happier because I'm thin. However, I will be healthier ... and healthy and happy often go hand in hand.

It'll be more fun to shop for clothes, too. ;)

I need to take Jillian's advice and start pushing myself out of my comfort zone. A 20-minute walk is better than nothing, but a 30-minute walk would be even better.

Crappy day all around

I started my morning by finishing my state taxes. Turns out that I entered a wrong number in TurboTax, and instead of getting $4 back, I owe $91. I don't have $91 lying around. Both my checking accounts are below $5, and even though payday is Friday, I have to put aside at least $350 of my check for the oral surgeon I'm seeing on Monday (and another $100 for my car license plate).

So the morning started out badly. It only got worse when I decided to face the metal beast.

That's right: I finally got on the scale after avoiding it for a month. It wasn't pretty. I weighed in at 209.6.

Yep. I'm on the wrong side of One-derland again. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Wait. That's not true. I'm unhappy. I'm angry. And I know I have no one to blame but myself. (OK. I can also heap a little blame on the Boyfriend. I don't know if he thinks he's helping me exercise willpower by tempting me with foods I shouldn't have or what.)

But he's not around 24/7. I have to take 100 percent ownership of a lot of the bad choices I've been making. The raspberry-coconut Zingers from the gas station, cookies from the vending machine at work, Cheesecake Factory double chocolate cheesecake while I'm writing in the Barnes & Noble cafe and fast-food burgers and fries are all on me.

I've been avoiding my food journal. I've turned back into a couch potato. I haven't been planning my meals. I've been relying on the drive-thru instead of taking time to cook healthy, tasty meals for myself. I've been indulging in too many treats way too often.

All these bad habits have to stop. I know what to do — and even if I don't have the money to attend WW meetings right now, I have to buckle down and Just Do It. (Yep. So far the year of Just Do It has been a big bust. I'm turning that around. Now.)