Adventures in weight loss, cooking and life

Kendra Through the Looking Glass: Skanky Tuesday: The Case of My Missing Breasts

2010-08-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

Kendra Through the Looking Glass: Skanky Tuesday: The Case of My Missing Breasts

New home

2010-06-14T01:22:00.000-07:00

... For my blog, anyway. I moved over to Wordpress — for good, I think.

Here's a link to Adventures in Weight Loss, Cooking & Life.

Getting in the right mindset

2010-05-12T13:47:00.000-07:00

I'm catching up on episodes of "The Biggest Loser." I have several backed up in my DVR, and I think I stopped watching at about the same time I started concentrating on my novel-writing.

It all comes back to that balance problem of mine. When I'm writing, I'm not doing the weight-loss thing the way I should and vice-versa. I need to find a nice, even balance between the two.

I suppose we all do. If balance came easily, none of us would need to lose weight. We'd all already be perfect. ;)

How about 12 hours on, 12 hours off?

Nah. That won't work. Speaking of things that won't work, have y'all heard of "The Skinny Switch"? I keep watching that infomercial, wondering if it could really be that simple — "two days eating, one day treating."

Then, when I think about it, it's not all that different from WW, with the Flex Points. You could spend 2 days eating just the daily Points allowance, then use a chunk of FPs on that third day, no problem.

Something to think about, I guess. Right now, I'm not so convinced WW is the way to go. I know it works, but for some reason, I've been unable to make it work for me lately, because I've flat-out been unable to stay OP.

I've even entertained the idea of going back on Atkins ... except for the fact that I'm not sure I could eat that way for the rest of my life. There was a time when I thought I could ... but then I fell off the low-carb wagon and couldn't get back on. Also, I never made it to Atkins' "lifetime maintenance" phase. I was perpetually in Ongoing Weight Loss (OWL).

I know I can lose on Atkins, because I lost 110 pounds doing it. Of course, I regained 70 of them once I stopped doing the low-carb thing. It took 2 years to lose it and 2 more to regain it.

Maybe I should shake it up a little bit by trying the Skinny Switch or 6 Week Body Makeover. Then again, maybe I should just stop making excuses and start doing WW properly. I know it works, too.

Could have been worse

2010-05-07T23:55:00.001-07:00

Surprise, surprise: I managed to minimize the damage from the delicious but not very healthy barbecue I ate for lunch by eating a smaller dinner. So it is possible for me to not go crazy after making one not-great choice. I'd forgotten that fact.

With a semi-successful day under my belt, let's see if I can achieve two goals tomorrow:

Another walk of at least 15 minutes in duration.

Drinking at least 48 ounces of water. (Today, I probably got about 24.)

If I manage that, perhaps I'll add counting Points on Sunday. It's like Roni at RonisWeigh said in a motivational post just the other day:

Pick one thing. Don’t overwhelm yourself with the amount of weight you need to lose. Don’t try to do it all (eat perfectly, exercise, etc) Don’t set yourself up to fail. Don’t beat up on yourself. Most importantly, DO NOT underestimate yourself.

Out of balance and out of control

2010-05-07T00:17:00.001-07:00

It's been another rough month for me, and I think I weigh more now than I did when April started. (I can't be sure because I've been avoiding the scale again.)

Somewhere along this journey, I've lost my way. Bad habits have crept back into my life: inactivity ... not tracking what I eat ... eating way too much junk ... that whole "the day is ruined so I might as well keep eating" attitude I thought I'd vanquished ...

The Boyfriend says it's because my life is out of balance. I'm spending too much time writing and not enough on other pursuits.

Maybe that's true. I do find myself avoiding the kitchen because I'm on a roll with my writing, and then I end up letting some drive-thru do the cooking for me. The problem is, I've neglected my writing life for years. Now that I feel like it's starting to go places, I don't want to slow down.

Still, that doesn't mean my healthy-living efforts should grind to a halt. Somehow, some way I need to find a balance (something I've tried to figure out before, without much success).

Anyone out there have any ideas?

I know, I know: If we all knew how to strike that delicate balance, we'd all be in shape and healthy.

For now, I think I need to get back to one basic principle: Taking things one day — one choice — at a time. Like an addict, I need to focus on just one day ... one day where I take a walk and avoid eating a lot of junk food.

Just one day can't be that difficult. Can it?

Not exactly a roll ...

2010-04-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

Unless it's a cinnamon roll. However, I am making more of an effort these days.

I'm sorry to say I went off the rails for a few days last week. After going on a 4-hour hike with my coworker, Heather, and her dog, Bandit, on Sunday, I had a wisdom tooth taken out Monday ... and used it as an excuse to eat crap for most of the week.

Yes, more than one milkshake was consumed, along with mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC. I got some healthier "soft foods," too, like yogurt and soup. But of course, the bad-for-me ones were much more appealing.

Hey, I'm being honest here! :D It's much harder to stay OP when the dentist says, "no popcorn, nuts or granola." With popcorn, nuts and granola bars being staple healthy snacks, that makes good choices all the more difficult.

Got back to counting Points Saturday, so this is Day 4 of being back on plan.

Really, I don't know why I do it. I feel so much better when I'm in control and counting my Points. If I knew what made me lose it, maybe I could stop it before it happens.

Today's a busy day. I did some exercise and ate a healthy lunch, and head to my book club meeting later. Since I slept through breakfast, I should have enough Points for a treat or two at the meeting.

On a roll?

2010-04-16T00:55:00.000-07:00

No, not a roll with butter and jam. ;) I've successfully completed my fourth straight day on-plan.

OK, I admit to not getting any exercise today. I slept in until noon and then had to make lunch and get ready for work. I was going to head home for my lunch break at 6:30 so I could sneak in a short walk before it got dark, but didn't manage to leave until 7.

Still, today's food choices couldn't have been much better. I'm allowed 25 Points and I ate 25 Points ... unless I head home and make myself a small after-work snack. Even then I'll be at about 27 Points.

For dinner, I tried something new. I had leftover butter beans in the fridge, so I made some whole wheat penne, then sauteed some garlic with the beans. I added a tomato (seeded and chopped) and some basil.

It was delicious — and filling. It's amazing how much better I feel when I'm eating good, healthy foods. When I'm eating crap, I eat a lot more and don't feel nearly as satisfied.

Anyway, here's the recipe. Sorry the picture turned out blurry.

Garlicky Beans with Pasta

2 oz. whole wheat penne

1/2 cup butter beans, with juice

3 cloves garlic (I love garlic)

1 tomato, seeded and diced

sprinkle fresh basil

1 Morningstar Farms Italian Sausage link

2 tsp RF Parmesan cheese

Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain.

In same pan, heat beans and garlic. Cook for a couple of minutes, then add the tomato and basil. Stir pasta back into the pot. (It should absorb the bean liquid pretty quickly.)

While beans are cooking, cook sausage link according to microwave directions. Cut up and add to pot.

Serve in bowl with cheese sprinkled on top.

Serves 1. 8 WW Points.

Another good day

2010-04-15T00:43:00.000-07:00

I'm back ... really back!

That's right. It was another good, OP day for me — the third in a row. I had a great lunch (grilled shrimp and veggies over whole wheat couscous for 7 Points), a Frapuccino light & 100-calorie pack of cookies as an afternoon snack, and some cheese before dinner.

Dinner was some whole wheat pasta with spaghetti sauce and a veggie Italian sausage link and a serving of sherbet was in order after dinner. My evening snack (one of Roni's banana oatmeal cups) put me at 26 Points (one more than the 25 I'm now allowed).

I also took a 20-minute walk. I know, I should be getting 60 minutes of exercise ... but I'll have to build up to that. I'm out of shape after taking so much time off. The walk I finished was exhausting enough.

I'm still not happy about being back in the 200s. In fact, I'm rather ticked off. But like I said earlier, it's my own damn fault.

I was watching an episode of Dr. Phil today, the second of two focusing on "the Ultimate Fat Debate." Among the panelists were Kelly Osbourne (who has apparently lost 42 pounds), Jillian Michaels and some trainer wearing a "No Chubbies" T-shirt who kept saying that fat people were that way by choice — they chose not to exercise and to eat poorly.

Naturally, the fat people on the panel took offense. I took offense. But there's some truth to his message. There are a lot of choices to be made — and until very recently, I've been making all the wrong ones.

I've been doing what's easy instead of what's right. It's easy to grab a drive-thru dinner and sit on my butt. It's right to cook my own meals (even if it takes away from my writing time) and get some exercise (ditto).

Being fat doesn't make me a bad person, and there's no moral imperative for me to lose weight. I won't automatically be happier because I'm thin. However, I will be healthier ... and healthy and happy often go hand in hand.

It'll be more fun to shop for clothes, too. ;)

I need to take Jillian's advice and start pushing myself out of my comfort zone. A 20-minute walk is better than nothing, but a 30-minute walk would be even better.

Crappy day all around

2010-04-14T13:24:00.000-07:00

I started my morning by finishing my state taxes. Turns out that I entered a wrong number in TurboTax, and instead of getting $4 back, I owe $91. I don't have $91 lying around. Both my checking accounts are below $5, and even though payday is Friday, I have to put aside at least $350 of my check for the oral surgeon I'm seeing on Monday (and another $100 for my car license plate).

So the morning started out badly. It only got worse when I decided to face the metal beast.

That's right: I finally got on the scale after avoiding it for a month. It wasn't pretty. I weighed in at 209.6.

Yep. I'm on the wrong side of One-derland again. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Wait. That's not true. I'm unhappy. I'm angry. And I know I have no one to blame but myself. (OK. I can also heap a little blame on the Boyfriend. I don't know if he thinks he's helping me exercise willpower by tempting me with foods I shouldn't have or what.)

But he's not around 24/7. I have to take 100 percent ownership of a lot of the bad choices I've been making. The raspberry-coconut Zingers from the gas station, cookies from the vending machine at work, Cheesecake Factory double chocolate cheesecake while I'm writing in the Barnes & Noble cafe and fast-food burgers and fries are all on me.

I've been avoiding my food journal. I've turned back into a couch potato. I haven't been planning my meals. I've been relying on the drive-thru instead of taking time to cook healthy, tasty meals for myself. I've been indulging in too many treats way too often.

All these bad habits have to stop. I know what to do — and even if I don't have the money to attend WW meetings right now, I have to buckle down and Just Do It. (Yep. So far the year of Just Do It has been a big bust. I'm turning that around. Now.)

Lost month

2010-04-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

Has it really been almost a month since I last blogged?

You know what that means — I've been a bad, bad girl. A month of not counting Points (and eating everything in sight) has surely taken a toll ... but I'm afraid to get on the scale to see just how much of one. I've never had a meltdown of such major proportions.

Yesterday, I had my first on-plan day in I don't know how long. I gave myself 25 Points and ate 25 Points. No more, no less.

It really wasn't that hard, either. So why have I been eating like a fiend for so long? I can't explain it.

I suppose I've just been lazy. I've been writing (finished another manuscript) and haven't wanted to spend time in the kitchen. The fact that I haven't had money to attend WW meetings is also a factor. And of course, time with the Boyfriend doesn't help any.

Now, I'm shooting for two days in a row. So far, so good: Had an egg on a Bagel Thin with a slice of RF American cheese and tomato for a total of 4 Points.

Four down, 21 to go!

Best-laid plans

2010-03-16T01:24:00.000-07:00

Work got in the way of my healthy dinner plan tonight.

I decided not to do the Crock Pot BBQ because I wanted beef stroganoff (a lightened-up version of one of my fave low-carb recipes). I took the beef out of the freezer and left for work.

However, by the time I got a chance to take my dinner break, it was an hour later than I normally go … and we were close enough to finishing for the night that it didn’t make much sense for me to leave.

That’s when the wheels fell off my wagon: I munched on popcorn and Goldfish crackers. (At least I didn’t hit the vending machine, eh?)

And when I got off work at 11 p.m., I didn’t do what I should have, which was head home and cook dinner for myself.

Nope. I ended up at the Wendy’s drive-thru instead. More proof that old habits die hard.

Well, it was still a more successful day than the one before. It’s a start!

Long, cold winter

2010-03-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

I know, it's just an excuse — but this damn cold weather has been making it tough for me to stay OP.

I haven't been exercising. It's tough to walk with 3-foot-high snow piles still covering the sidewalks, and every time it starts to melt, we get more.

The weather is also making me not want to cook. I'm stuck in an "I don't care" kind of mood, where eating out — be it fast food or something else — just sounds easier. As a result, I haven't been planning ... and consistently eating more than I should.

Well, it has to stop. I know, I've said that before — then promptly let myself get derailed again. Getting to a meeting will help. Friday is payday, and I intend to set aside the money to go that following Monday.

Until then, I'll be back to taking things one day — one choice — at a time. Today's start? The first thing I ate when I got up this morning was a 100-calorie pack of Emerald Natural almonds. I love snacking on almonds.

Next up, finding something healthy for lunch and putting dinner in the Crock Pot. HG BBQ Pulled Chicken, here I come!

Out of practice

2010-03-01T23:21:00.001-08:00

Yoga isn't all that easy to do when you haven't done it in a good long time and you're trying to fight off a curious dog.

I succeeded, though. Got in a 20-minute yoga workout. Other than that, my activity level was in the toilet. Either I need to buy a new pedometer or I've reverted to couch potato days. The pedometer only logged a little more than 1,500 steps — for the entire day.

Ugh. :P

At least I stayed OP on the food front. I've eaten 26 1/2 total Points today. I may add 1 or 2 for a snack ... or maybe not. I'm not all that hungry at the moment.

Gasp! Did those words just come out of my mouth?

Goal for Tuesday: Beat today's step total. It shouldn't be hard.

Ask and you shall receive

2010-03-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

Just last night, I was lamenting the fact that my week was activity-free and I vowed to earn at least a few Activity Points this week.

This morning, Tina over at Carrots N Cake served up her 2010 Yoga Challenge.

I love yoga whenever I bother to do it. In fact, every time I make it to a class, I think to myself, "What took you so long?" So of course I jumped right on Tina's challenge bandwagon.

Yep, that's me: Comment # 41. I said I wanted to make yoga a regular part of my life this month — at least three times a week.

To get me started, I borrowed a Web site from one of the comments above me, yogadownload.com. I was worried it'd be expensive, but all the 20-minute classes are free. I'm going to download one and get started just as soon as I finish this post.

Perhaps exercise will help me budge the scale faster.

Yes, this morning's encounter with the scale was a bit disappointing. I know I shouldn't complain, having dropped from 198 to 193.2. That's down 4.8 pounds!

However, last Friday the scale was at 190.8 ... so 193.2 is a disappointment, especially after an in-control weekend.

Oh well. I refuse to let it keep me down. I lost 4.8 pounds in my first OP week in I don't know how long. That's a fantastic result! :D

I plan to keep up the great work this week. This morning started with a glass of almond milk and Hungry Girl's Egg Mug Classic (2 Points) topped with a little salsa.

For lunch, I'm thinkin' enchiladas. I made them again Sunday, and this time I was able to eat them. They were delicious ... and I still have beans and sauce to use up, so I can make another batch. Think I'll enjoy a salad with them this time, though.

Not the most stellar day

2010-02-27T23:54:00.000-08:00

But I'm still putting it in the "win" column.

Sure, I didn't get any exercise — again. I drank more diet soda than H2O. And I ate a little more than I should have, starting with a burrito from my favorite burrito place for lunch (no breakfast because I overslept). The choices were a little calorie-heavy and nutrition-light, from the post-burrito TCBY 96% FF coffee-flavored yogurt to my burger dinner.

But I also kept track of every bite. Right now, the day's total stands at 29. I may or may not have a (very) low-Point snack when I get home from work. I'm leaning toward yes, because I'm a little hungry. Maybe BBQ soy crisps and salsa, to sneak in some more veggies.

And before choosing to eat that Whopper Jr. & onion rings for dinner, I thought twice. I knew I had the Points for the burger, and my FPs would pay for for the rings. (I still have 6 1/2 FPs left for the week, which ends Sunday.)

I know, I know. There's no rule that says I have to eat every last FP. But there's no rule that says I can't, either. And I say if it's helping me stay OP and not feel deprived, I will savor every single one.

Here's my pledge for tomorrow: Some kind of exercise. Maybe I'll see if the roommate wants to wii. And with the promise of more snow in the forecast, there'll likely be shoveling. Ugh. That's no fun.

Lesson learned — again

2010-02-27T00:55:00.000-08:00

I know I've discovered this once or twice before, but when I'm tracking Points properly, I often find that things aren't as bad as I feared.

Case in point: Today's smoothie from Starbuck's — only 4 Points. But the last few times I ordered it (already in "what the hell, I've already shot the day" mode), I continued overeating for the rest of the day.

Today, armed with the knowledge of how many Points I was actually consuming — not as many as I'd feared — I managed to finish the day having eaten just 29.5 Points. (That's 5.5 FPs used, since I'm allowed 24 these days.)

And that was with eating out — TWICE. I had my favorite lunch, a slice of pizza and caesar salad from Picazzo's, and went to Taco Bell for dinner.

At Taco Bell, knowing that I'd only had 16 1/2 Points for the day, I ordered two grilled steak tacos (fresco style, for 6 Points). I even treated myself to an order of cinnamon twists, which took me to 25 1/2 total Points eaten. Usually when I go to Taco Bell on a Friday night, I'm already in that "what the hell" mode and I order something gooey, cheesy and really bad for me.

My after-dinner snack to carry me through the rest of the night at work was another package of those Special K Fruit Crisps. Then, when I got home from work, I had a Bagel Thin with 1 T RF cream cheese.

I avoided the Girl Scout cookies on the communal desk a few steps from mine, in part because I knew my Points total was under control for the day.

It's nice to know how much I've actually eaten, instead of fearing the worst. It keeps me from going off the deep end and eating everything in sight. And that, my friends, is a wonderful feeling. I'd like to have it more often.

A welcome surprise

2010-02-26T13:38:00.000-08:00

Today is what Tina over at Carrots N Cake would call Cookie Friday.

Instead of a cookie, I decided to treat myself to a Vivanno Chocolate Banana Smoothie from Starbucks and was surprised to find that it's a much healthier choice than I thought.

I'd ordered one a couple of times before, thinking I was doing real damage to my daily Points total. But when I actually took the time to ask about its nutritional stats, I discovered it's really not that bad: Made with skim milk, it has 250 calories, 2 grams of fat and 6 grams of fiber, for a Points total of just 4.

Bonus: It has 18 grams of protein, so it's a snack with staying power. Cool, huh?

Guess that's what happens when I track the way I'm supposed to — I find things I thought were bad aren't so bad after all.

Points left for a late-night snack

2010-02-26T00:03:00.000-08:00

I'm excited to say I still have 3 Points left to eat something when I get home from work. I'm thinking some Special K (Chocolatey Delight) with skim milk. Yum! I love that stuff.

Speaking of Special K, I tried those Special K Fruit Crisps today. Someone said they tasted like Pop-Tarts ... and they were right. Definitely something to add to my snack drawer at work.

More proof that my head is on straight, finally: There were snacks at the office today (including chocolate chip cookies and bagels w/ cream cheese) and I didn't partake. I did, however, grab a handful of baby carrots (but no dip).

You read right: I didn't eat any chocolate chip cookies. I avoided those suckers even though they were mere feet from my desk. And then, when I returned from dinner, they were gone — and I was glad. (I know my willpower wanes as the night wears on.)

Overall, I'd call it a very good day. :D

Food	Units
yoplait red velvet cake yogurt - tasty, but nothing like cake	2
mcd's 4-piece mcnugget meal w/ sweet&sour, apple dippers & side salad w/ rf italian	7
special k blueberry crisp bar	2
hard-boiled egg	2
pickle spear & 15 grape tomatoes	0
ambrosia apple	1
handful baby carrots	0
healthy choice garlic lemon chicken & shrimp	5
sf pudding cup w/ 1 tsp rf pb stirred in	2
Total:	21

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Finally back on track

2010-02-25T12:54:00.000-08:00

I think my head is finally in the right place to take off the rest of this weight.

How can I tell? Today, when the Boyfriend and I were debating where to go for lunch, I told him we should go to McDonald's so I could order a 4-piece McNugget Happy Meal with apple dippers and a side salad on the side.

All that food was only 7 Points, bringing my total so far today to 9 ... and I'm perfectly satisfied.

This is much better than yesterday, when I had a Whopper Jr. with fries for lunch (11) and had eaten all but 1 of my 24 Points by 2 p.m. or so.

If I'm making those hard choices — the ones that taste good but not great — I'm well on my way. Not that McNuggets are a huge hardship ... but I'd still have preferred a burger. What can I say? I'm a red meat kind of girl.

A second good day

2010-02-23T20:30:00.000-08:00

Today was another good day, due in part to the migraine-like headache that kept me from moving (or eating) for a good portion of the day. By the time dinner rolled around, I still had 12 Points left ... so I fixed some pasta, veggies, pasta sauce and RF parmesan cheese and had a homemade coffee drink for dinner.

My "frappuccino" was delicious: 1/2 cup coffee-flavored ice cream and 3/4 cup almond milk for just 3 Points. Yum!

Now, I still have 4 Points left. I'm trying to decide what I should eat. Something with nutritional value, probably ... but the Thin Mints in the kitchen seem to be calling me. I think they're 4 Points per serving. I'll have to check.

Of course, that's not the best snack to eat while catching up on last week's episode of "Biggest Loser." I keep thinking I should be working out while I watch.

Food	Units
here goes nothing!
what's for lunch?
i'm thinkin' ... enchiladas. (sorry arby's.) now, if i can only find my hg recipe for healthy enchiladas, i'll be set.
#food half of the homemade enchiladas i made - head hurt 2 much 2 eat	4
#food svg. spcl k & skim milk	3
#food apple w/ 2t pb	5
#food whole wheat pasta w/ zucchini, mushroom, onions in 1 tsp oil & 1/2 cup pasta sauce	5
#food 1/2 cup coffee-flv. ice cream blended w/ 3/4 cup almond milk - yum!	3
Total:	20

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Delightful dinner

2010-02-23T11:47:00.001-08:00

Last night was the first time in I don't know how long that I planned ahead and made a healthy dinner at home. I hit the store in the morning and knew what I wanted for dinner.

Fish tacos. That's right — and they were both delicious and easy to make. I remembered seeing a recipe somewhere (though I have no clue where), so I improvised.

Here's my recipe:

1 can Bumblebee lemon-pepper tuna (3 Points)

3 corn tortillas (3)

shredded cabbage (0)

1/4 cup Greek yogurt (less than 1)

1/2 tsp ranch dressing powder (o)

Heat tuna in microwave for 30 seconds; heat tortillas for 20. Put tuna in center of tortillas. Top with cabbage and yogurt mixed with ranch.

A decent day

2010-02-22T23:47:00.001-08:00

Food	Units
thomas' bagel thin w/ rf cream cheese	3
california roll	7
coffee drink - see below	3
100-cal pk almonds	2
nutrigrain cherry cereal bar	2
homemade fish tacos w/ lemon-pepper tuna, 3 corn tortillas, cabbage, greek yogurt sauce	6
zucchini, grilled	0
sf boston cream pie pudding	1
1 chocolate-cherry diet soda cupcake	2
Total:	26

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

As you can see, it was a pretty great day overall. I gave myself some treats and sweets, but didn't overindulge.

What I find amazing is that it's 12:30 a.m. and I'm still full from dinner. Guess that's what happens when you actually plan a meal (of sorts) instead of grabbing something on the go.

OK, it's not all that amazing ... what with filling foods and all. ;) Eating real food is definitely the way to go. (Yes, I knew that before ... somehow, though, I'd lost sight of the fact.)

I might not even need to fix my after-work snack ... and that's a good thing, since I'm already 2 Points over the 24 I'm allowed for the day.

That's the good thing about being solidly back in the 190s: I get 24 Points a day instead of 23. Since I always struggled with 23 for some reason I still haven't defined (I'm sure it's a head game of some sort), I'm glad to get 24.

But I'll be even happier when I drop back into the 180s ... even if it does mean getting one less Point. :D

(Finally) ready to face the music

2010-02-22T11:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I hopped on the scale this morning for the first time in at least a month. As I suspected, what I saw wasn't pretty.

At my last WW meeting on Jan 3o, I was 190.4. Today, on the home scale (because I still can't afford my meeting while my paycheck is being garnished), I was 198. That's a gain of 7.6 pounds in a little less than a month.

Bad, yes — but not as bad as I feared it might be. At least I'm still in One-derland. Barely, but it counts.

It's time for me to get serious again. I can't keep doing what I've been doing lately and expect different results.

Yes, I've been eating crap. I know my choices have been a problem ... I can't have a burger and fries from Wendy's for lunch and then have tacos and more fries (from Del Taco) for dinner. I can't have a brunch of pancakes from IHOP and then eat a slice of Godiva double chocolate cheesecake as an afternoon snack.

I could blame the Boyfriend. He certainly "helps" me eat things I shouldn't. He doesn't seem to understand that, when I put a certain amount of food on my plate, that's a portion and that's all I plan to eat.

But it's not all his fault. He's not with me when I buy junk out of the vending machine at work, or when I drink a diet Dr Pepper instead of the H2O I know I should be drinking. He's also usually nowhere in sight when I opt NOT to take a walk because the weather's crappy or I'd rather be writing or ... I can't think of the other excuses I've been coming up with lately.

I need to start moving more again. Lately, the only exercise I've been getting has been walking from the couch to the fridge. Not good, I know.

I've been in what Roni calls a funk. I've been feeling beaten down and stressed out by my finances ... and I've been feeling like "what's the point? Nothing I do matters anyway." I've been eating to compensate.

Logically, I can see this. I'm just having a tough time stopping myself.

Today so far, I've done pretty well. I had one of those new Thomas' Bagel Thins w/ light cream cheese for breakfast and lunch was a California roll from my favorite sushi place, Hiro's.

I even got some exercise, in the form of shoveling more of this damn snow we keep getting. The crap from our last storm was finally starting to melt, so of course we had to be "treated" to some more. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate snow?

Seeing that near-200 on the scale just might be the jolt I need to rein myself in and get my eating back under control. I certainly hope so.

Still struggling

2010-02-18T07:44:00.000-08:00

In case you hadn't guessed, my silence means I'm still eating crap and avoiding the scale.

And I'm not happy about it. Yet, I can't seem to stop myself.

I'm not quite sure what to do. Roni might call this a "funk" — but I seem to have simply given up. Now that I can't afford to go to WW meetings, I seem to have lost the will to follow the program.

Worse, I know that just one good day will give me the shove I need to go in the right direction. Even so, I find myself thinking about starting the day with a donut from Starbucks and then having a big ol' burrito for lunch.

Maybe I should just get on the scale. If I see the damage I'm doing — I could be back in the 200s, at the rate I've been eating — it could be the jolt I need to get back on the ball.

A new, better day

2010-02-09T09:26:00.000-08:00

OK, it's a brand new day ... I have at least six chances to make good decisions. Healthy choices.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, two snacks. Lots of water.

I can do this. I can! It's not that hard. Even though I'm still stressed out about my financial situation, I don't have to eat my feelings. I can take a walk, call a friend, read a book, write something.

One good decision down: A serving of Special K with skim milk for breakfast. 3 Points, leaving me with 20 for the rest of today.

You know it's never good

2010-02-08T21:59:00.000-08:00

When I'm ignoring my blog, it's because I've been a bad, bad girl.

Despite writing that I was going to rein it in Saturday, I continued the free-for-all all weekend and into today. (Even though I woke up at 9:30, I skipped breakfast, so I was starving by the time I got to eat lunch ... and so I ate too much.)

I was afraid to face the music by getting on the scale this morning (and still can't afford my WW meeting, anyway. That doesn't excuse me from the home-scale check-in, however.

I started counting Points for dinner and after — I've eaten 10 so far. Don't want to think about the Points in lunch, though.

Spinning again

2010-02-05T00:08:00.001-08:00

With three not-so-great days under my belt, I’m starting to spiral out of control again.

Must rein it back in. Now. I don’t want to undo all the progress I made earlier in the week.

Just for Friday, I’m going to track every bite. That always seems to help.

Great breakfast & a new blog

2010-02-01T08:45:00.000-08:00

I know, I know .... I usually don't post until the end of the day. But since I had something to share, I figured, "Why not shake things up a little?" Blogging more than once today won't hurt me!

The Boyfriend called right before 9 this morning, so I was actually up early enough to make myself that French toast this morning. I'm psyched, because it turned out delicious.

Psyched? I haven't said that since about sixth-grade. Ah, let's not take that trip down memory lane.

Anyway, it couldn't have been simpler to make.

1/4 cup egg substitute

pinch each of cinnamon, nutmeg & Splenda

1 Sandwich Thin

Spray a small skillet with cooking spray. Mix egg substitute, spices and Splenda. Dip bread into egg. Cook on each side until as brown as you like it.

Yum! And only 2 Points. (I added half an apple and a drizzle of SF syrup, making my total for breakfast 3 Points. Same number as a bowl of Special K w/ 1/2 cup milk, but a nice change!)

On to the blog. Thanks to Tonyne over at The Unlikely Success Story, I discovered a new blog this morning: T.J.'s Test Kitchen. T.J. has lost about 70 pounds on WW (which is where I'll be when I finally hit goal). Right now, she's doing a giveaway ... a great lunch bag filled with some of her favorite snacks.

And now I'm entered to win! :D (I never win this kind of thing, but it's always fun to try.)

Blame it on Taco Bell

2010-01-31T22:51:00.000-08:00

My NyQuil-induced sleep lasted until 2 p.m., so I didn't get the French toast I was hoping to have for breakfast. (I'm weird like that. I don't like to eat breakfast food unless it's breakfast time. Hated it when the school cafeteria served waffles and sausage and called it "brunch.")

When I left the house to go to work, the day was so beautiful — sunny and warm considering we still have several feet of snow on the ground — that I wished I hadn't slept most of it away. Guess I needed it, though. I feel a little better now.

I wanted a burrito for lunch, but the place I wanted it from is closed on Sundays. I was a bit embarrassed that I didn't know that, but I usually don't try to get burritos on Sunday. (Figured that I had the Points for it, since I'd eaten nothing all day.)

Anyway, I ended up at Taco Bell. I thought I ordered the Drive-Thru Diet combo (two fresco grilled steak tacos) but I actually GOT the regular grilled steak tacos.

They're SO NOT WORTH the extra 4 Points — each. (Fresco are 3 Points each, regular are 7.) I picked the cheese off the second one and called it 12 Points for lunch.

That's the same amount I'd have spent on the burrito at Burritos Fiesta, but it didn't taste nearly as good. Nor was it as filling. I'll probably end up at BF tomorrow anyway.

Anyway, at 28 Points for the day, I'm counting it as another success. Yes, it would have been fewer had Taco Bell not screwed up my order ... but 28 Points still is decent.

My pedometer count, however, sucked even more today: Just 1,494 steps. Guess that's what happens when I sleep until 2 and then sit at my desk for six hours.

I think I'm less hungry as the days go by. More OP days under my belt and my whole attitude is changing.

Nice! Why is it so easy to forget these things when I stray?

On the budget front, I spent $7.07 ... all on food (combo at TB and a kid-sized yogurt from TCBY). I did think twice before getting a Diet Dr Pepper from the vending machine, though. That would have been another 60 cents, so I'm pleased with that decision.

Food	Units
grld stk tacos (cheese removed from one)	12
kid sz. tcby pb yogurt	2
1 godiva caramel-filled chocolate square	2
smart ones meatloaf w/ mashed potatoes	5
green beans & 1/2 sandwich thin	1
1 deep chocolate vitatop - yum!	1
(4got to enter earlier) quaker cafe square	2
svg spcl k w/ milk	3
Total:	28

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Another decent day

2010-01-31T01:00:00.000-08:00

That makes two in a row! I feel so much better than I did earlier this week that I'm doing a little happy dance right now.

I ate a little more today than yesterday ... and succumbed to the lure of a chocolate-covered pretzel rod (2 Points) at the Barnes & Noble Cafe this afternoon before work. It was on sale for 49 cents, so when I saw it only had 2 Points, I just couldn't say no.

Do you guys ever end up eating something you totally didn't plan on just because you're out and it looks good? I'd just had a container of Stonyfield Farms Chocolate Underground yogurt, so I certainly didn't need a chocolate-covered pretzel.

Overall, including the bowl of Special K and skim milk I ate after I got home from work, I consumed 28 Points today.

That's not bad. Granted, I'm allowed 23 ... but if you factor in the 5 FPs I can add to each day (provided I have them, which technically I don't, unless I start my week yesterday), I'm right on track. Maybe I should start my week Friday, then! :D

I was a little hungrier today than yesterday. Maybe that's because it was a carb-heavy day, with sushi and yogurt for lunch, soup and an apple with peanut butter for snacks and a veggie corn dog and mac & cheese for dinner, then the cereal snack.

Must work on getting more protein. Some days I wonder if I shouldn't just start doing Atkins again. Then I remember that, even though I once honestly thought I'd be able to do the low-carb thing for the rest of my life, things changed when I met the carb-loving Boyfriend.

Still no exercise, though. I only logged 2,138 steps on the pedometer. Pathetic. :S (But considering I slept til 11 a.m., then sat on my butt at B&N and then work, I guess 2,000 steps isn't so bad.)

In the "adventures in life" category, I've decided I'm going to try something new with money.

In keeping with the WW theory that tracking helps you take control, I'm going to start keeping track of what I spend, and what I spend it on (bills, entertainment, food, whatnot).

I haven't quite worked out the system yet, but I did buy a little notebook to start tracking in (4 of them for $1.08 at the Dollar Store). It'll be something with a key code (E=Entertainment, F=Food, U=Utilities, A=Auto, R=Restaurants ... etc.) so I can see exactly where my money goes.

I expect I'll be shocked and sickened at how much I waste. Guess I'll find out soon enough, eh?

Now, it's time to take some NyQuil gelcaps and knock myself out until tomorrow. As long as I wake up in time to go to work at 4, all will be well.

On the right track

2010-01-30T00:18:00.000-08:00

This morning, I made a pledge to myself: Just for today, I'm going to log every bite that goes into my mouth.

I did, and it helped me immensely. I ate 24 Points (forgot to put in strawberries and SF Jell-O mousse before I exported my chart). I'm still contemplating heading home and eating 1 Point of popcorn, because I'm still hungry.

Long hours are not exactly my friend. But at least I've avoided the vending machine today. It was the first time in more than a week that I've stayed OP.

Let's hope it's the start of a nice, long streak.

Food	Units
svg. spcl k w/ 1/2 c skim milk	3
chicken bacon ranch salad w/ lt ranch dressing	7
small vanilla cone	3
quaker true delights cafe squares	2
apple w/ 1 t rf pb	3
hg pulled bbq chicken on sandwich thin	4
svg. progresso soup w/ extra 1/2 c green beans mixed in	0
Total:	22

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Must regain control

2010-01-29T01:02:00.000-08:00

I started out today with the idea that today was the day I was going to take control of my diet again.

Boy, was that a mistake … or rather a series of them.

First, I woke up before 10 a.m. and didn’t actually get out of bed until 12:30 because I was busy writing. The good news? I added a very nice set of scenes to my novel. The bad news? I didn’t eat breakfast, so …

When I left the house for lunch, I was starving. I went out for half a sandwich and some soup — chicken & white bean chili — and ended up getting an oatmeal scotchie, too. Those are quite possibly my favorite cookies (with the exception of Thin Mints).

Then I headed to work, where the newsroom (that’s us) was hosting a Hawaiian luau in the conference room. Not only did I have 3 slices of ham & pineapple pizza then … but I ate two more later on, because the leftovers were hanging around the newsroom.

I skipped dinner, having eaten the two additional slices at about 6 p.m. … but then at about 9 p.m., I started munching on some trail mix. And when I got home from work at 1 a.m., I ate a pulled pork sandwich. (At least it was a HG recipe, so it was only 4 Points!)

Aargh!

I need to stop that, pronto! Hopefully, signing the paperwork with the attorney next Tuesday will help.

But I don’t want to wait until Tuesday to regain control. In the morning, after I dedicate some time to sending out two query letters to potential agents, I’m going to get in some kind of workout. I’ve been letting those slide, what with all last week’s snow shoveling (which doesn’t really count) and the chaos that has become my financial situation.

Who knew?

2010-01-27T13:40:00.000-08:00

Did you know a $2 bill is worth exactly ... $2.

Since I'd never seen one in circulation, I was hoping it'd be worth much, much more. Alas, $2 bills are still in circulation, so even fresh, crisp $2 bills from 1976 are worth no more than face value.

Not what I wanted to hear, what with my finances in the mess they're in. I stress-ate my way through the weekend after discovering the d*** bill collector is still taking $200+ from my paycheck each payday. I NEVER agreed to pay them freakin'$400 a month ... EVER. (I believe we settled on $150.)

I can't live on $600 a paycheck when my mortgage takes $500 and my car insurance takes the rest.

So I spent the weekend stressing about money. I skipped my WW meeting for two reasons: No cash to pay for it and the home scale said 192.5 (up considerably from last Monday's total) ... that meant it would have been a waste of money anyway. :P

The stress eating stops now, though. I really want to follow WW at home on my own for the next month or so until I can get the wage garnishment stopped and go back to my meeting.

Until then, I have to do it on my own, for myself. I'm still so close to goal that I don't want to reverse my progress.

Winterpocalypse coming to end

2010-01-23T18:21:00.000-08:00

Winterpocalypse ... storm of the century ... snowpocalypse ... hell ...

Whatever you call it, Flagstaff's week of big snows is finally coming to an end. It hasn't been pretty. Businesses' roofs are collapsing under the weight of all the snow and people are stuck in their houses. One of my coworkers' heat went out Friday and they aren't coming to fix it until Tuesday.

All this snow is great fun for the dogs, but for us humans, not so much. Enjoy the photos and be glad you're not here!

Up way too early

2010-01-23T07:00:00.000-08:00

The Boyfriend woke me up at 4 a.m. today, calling because he'd let a friend borrow his truck and couldn't get ahold of said friend 9 hours later. No answers to texts or phone calls and he started to panic. He didn't want to be stuck at Gila River Casino with no money and no vehicle.

I told him to call back when it got light outside. I didn't know if it was still snowing out there, but I wasn't about to head down the mountain in this weather when it was pitch-black. Even if the snow had stopped, the roads wouldn't improve much until the sun came out.

So he called again at 6 to wake me up so I could get ready. About the time I got out of the shower and poured myself a bowl of Special K for breakfast, he called to say she finally called back — she'd apparently fallen asleep.

But since I'd already showered, I was wide awake ... so I've been up ever since. I'm not used to watching the sun come up! Not sure I like it, either. I much prefer days that I get up at noon (so I don't have to eat breakfast and have more Points for the rest of the day!).

Catching up

2010-01-22T09:43:00.000-08:00

Since Flagstaff is blanketed with several feet of snow, I got home from work early tonight — really early. Instead of writing (the way I should be), I decided to catch up on Tuesday's episode of "Biggest Loser" so I could delete it from the DVR.
The struggle of Migdalia, from the green team, touched me ... perhaps a little more than I'd like to admit. When Jillian was yelling at her, trying to get her to admit why she wasn't happy, and she stormed off, I was reminded of my (brief) stint in therapy.

Convinced that I was still thinking like a fat girl (with low self-esteem), I went for a few months after I lost the 110 pounds doing Atkins. The one moment that stands out more than any other was the day I started sobbing while talking about being seen as the "jolly fat girl."

I've been that way as long as I can remember — the big girl with a great sense of humor. (Hell, I even write romantic comedy — still unpublished ... but that's another blog.)

It's not surprising. My entire family — both sides — handles most of life's adversities with humor. My mom, who was also overweight, was always quick with a joke. So are my cousins. I remember at my dad's funeral, the clan went out for pizza between viewings and had a grand time joking around.

But I'm losing my train of thought here. The point, which former BL contestant Tara Costa summed up so nicely in her People blog, is this:

I have come to realize that to truly make a lifestyle change, you need to understand the reasons why you heavy in the first place. If the mind-body connection is not made, it will not be a lasting impact. Once you make that connection, you can be vulnerable because you will feel all emotions, not just the happy ones.

I need to remember that — and take time to figure out my own mind-body connection. I have a feeling that's the only way I'm finally going to break out of the 180s.

As for my day, it was a mixed bag. Thanks to the shoveling, I got more activity than I do some days ... but I also haven't made the best food choices. The boss brought deli sandwiches in to feed those of us stuck at the office, and I pulled my usual trick of not counting Points for that and anything I ate after it.

Perhaps I need to figure out why I have such an aversion to tracking, too. Like I told Tina at Carrots-N-Cake, who's thinking about starting to count calories again, counting — calories, Points, carbs or what have you — is just a tool to help you stay mindful about what you're eating.

I honestly believe that. So why do I struggle so much with it?

Great Wednesday ... & snowy Thursday

2010-01-21T06:52:00.000-08:00

Activity (in the form of snow shoveling), plenty of water and staying within my Points … what more could a girl want?

This post is going to be quick because I’ll be up earlier than normal to go to work. We’re clearing early because of the monster snowstorm set to hit Flagstaff Thursday and Friday.

I like the thought of clearing early … I just wish it didn’t mean going in at 11 a.m. I’m used to having my mornings to myself.

Food	Units
10 min shoveling snow, 15 on elliptical [-2]	-2
svg spcl k cinnamon pecan w/ 1/2 c milk	3
ww pasta w/ lean ground beef, tomatoes, mushroom & onion	6
sf jell-o mousse cup	1
1/2 sandwich thin w/ 1 t rf pb, 1 t choc chips	4
hg slow cooker pulled ckn on sandwich thin w/ 1 c whole grain rice a roni	8
yoplait light mixed w/ 1/4 c ff cool whip & frozen for 1 hr	3
popcorn	1
Total:	24

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

That was last night's post, which I apparently forgot to publish.

Now, it's morning, and the snow is coming down. The snowblower woke me up — at least I think that's what it was. I heard something weird hitting my window, anyway. I sure hope it was snow. Kind of annoying when I didn't get to sleep until 3, to be awake again at just before 7. But a lot less annoying than ME having to go out and shovel this crap ... :D

Not so great

2010-01-20T01:29:00.000-08:00

Today wasn’t as good as yesterday. I started off okay, with some activity — 10 minutes of snow shoveling and 15 on the elliptical in the kitchen.

Even lunch was pretty healthy — a baked potato topped with lean ground beef, mushroom and and onion seasoned with taco seasoning. I also threw on some cheese, salsa and RF sour cream. Yum! Not only was it delicious, I figured it came out to only 7 1/2 Points.

The trouble started when I left for work. Work involved interviewing the owner of a new deli in town … and I sampled some of his peanut butter fudge. It was just a small piece, but when I said I liked it, he gave me a whole square to take with me. I TOLD myself I was only going to eat part of it … but a few minutes later, I’d devoured the whole thing.

Then I went to my book club meeting. Chili, veggies and dip, 3 corn muffins and about four chocolate-peanut butter chip cookies later, my day’s Points were more than shot.

Oh well. It’s only one day — and part of the day, at that. I’ll get right back on track when I wake up. That’s all I can do. I don’t want to beat myself up. I know from experience that gets me nowhere.

Good day

2010-01-19T00:16:00.000-08:00

Funny how success at the scale sets me up for success all around. Today was no different. After my good WI, I ate a healthy lunch (cheesy Choice Ramen w/ veggies from my ever-dwindling stash) and then headed to work.

Before I left the office for the night, I checked my gmail account one last time and found more good news: One of the two agents I sent queries to about my manuscript wrote back, wanting to see more!

I think the first words out of my mouth were "Oh my God" or something like that. I was so excited ... I read the letter twice, then texted the Boyfriend with the good news. Then I headed home to get those 30 pages ready to upload to the agency's database.

That was a bit of a trial. Even though I had a Microsoft Word file, I kept getting an error page. "Please upload a supported file type," it said. MS Word was a supported file type! So I tried a Simple Text file, .rtf, which was also on the list. No luck there. Finally, I figured out that my Word file didn't have the .doc on it ... when I added it, the database accepted it just fine.

Hmm. Guess this post falls into the "adventures in life" category, since it doesn't have much to do with weight loss or cooking.

I did manage to plan ahead for dinner. Before I left for work, I put out a turkey burger to defrost and sliced up a potato to make my famous "Foreman fries" on George (the George Foreman grill I have). That way, when I got home for my dinner break, I didn't have to wonder what I was going to eat. Dinner was 7 Points (turkey burger 3, sandwich thin 1, foreman fries w/ olive oil 3) ... and then I snacked on a granola bar and some peanuts after dinner (another 6).

Total Points consumed today: 30 of 23 allowed
FP used: 7

The snow is falling fast and furious now ... I doubt I'll be getting to see the Boyfriend on my day off Wednesday. We're supposed to be getting snow all week. :P Have I mentioned how much I hate snow? (Probably about a dozen times, eh?) At least I can earn some APs with all the shoveling!

Surprise

2010-01-18T13:09:00.000-08:00

... And this time, it was a good surprise — two, actually.

First, the news you've all been waiting for: Results of today's WI. (Drumroll, please.) Down 1.2 pounds.

I was surprised, because when I hopped on the home scale, I thought I was pretty much the same as last Monday. Apparently, I'd forgotten what the home scale said.

I'll take the loss and be glad, because my Thursday and Friday weren't all that great.

The other surprise: The baked potato I had when I got home from work last night was very filling. First, I nuked a potato. While it was cooking, I rummaged around in the freezer. (I was inspired by Tonyne over at The Unlikely Success Story, who recently wrote a post about cleaning out her freezer.) Found a partial bag of sad frozen veggies and decided they'd be just the thing to make my potato a "Filling Food."

I cut up a mushroom and a little onion and nuked it with the frozen veggies, then topped the potato with them. I also added 1 T bacon bits, 2 T RF cheddar and 2 T RF sour cream.

It hit the spot — and was only 5 Points.

OK weekend

2010-01-17T21:42:00.001-08:00

The weekend wasn't a total bust. In fact, it's now nearly 11 p.m. and I have about 9 Points left for the day. Good thing, too, because I still haven't had dinner.

I came to work at 4 p.m., and by the time I got to a good stopping point, I only had about an hour's worth of work left to do ... so it made no sense to take a dinner break then.

Consequently, now I'm starving. I'm trying my damnedest to convince myself that doesn't give me license to hit the drive-thru. On the night before WI? That would be really dumb, wouldn't it?

OK, I'm decided. It's off to the house to make myself something good for me. I had soup for lunch, so it'll have to be something else. Maybe a nuked baked potato ... topped with cheese, bacon bits and RF sour cream.

Yum! I talked myself into it. Good. It'll help me stick to my New Year's theme. (Thanks again, Nike!)

Workin' hard or hardly workin'?

2010-01-15T08:58:00.000-08:00

For some reason, that question — a fave of my fifth-grade teacher — popped into my head this morning. He'd ask, "Are you working hard or hardly working?" any time he saw one of us staring out the window or otherwise not doing what we're supposed to be doing.

If I'm honest with myself, I'd have to say that when it comes to weight loss, I've been hardly working lately. Yes, I've been doing better since the New Year started and I adopted my "Just do it" theme ... but not good enough. Yesterday, I bought not one but two bags of little vanilla sandwich cookies from the vending machine at work. (I think those are one of my trigger foods ... can't seem to stop at just one.)

I still don't track every bite I eat (though I have been tracking more regularly).

And I haven't been working out the way I should. I do, however, think my legs are getting more toned just by virtue of wearing my Skechers Shape-Ups the last few weeks. (I'll take it!)

It's time for me to start working hard instead of hardly working.

An award & a contest

2010-01-13T10:28:00.000-08:00

Kelly over at Pounds for Prom just honored me with a Beautiful Blogger Award.

Now I'm supposed to write seven random things about myself (and nominate seven people of my own).

Here are seven things that some of you might already know, but many of you won't:

1. I was a band geek in high school. At various times, I played flute and piccolo, and was in the color guard. All that marching helped keep my weight in check.

2. I spent a semester in England (eating Yorkshire pudding, giant jacket potatoes and pizza topped with CORN ... yes, you read right: CORN) in college. I went to Harlaxton College, the University of Evansville's British campus, which was featured in exterior shots for the Liam Neeson/Catherine Zeta Jones movie "The Haunting." I did a lot of walking while I was over there, so the bad eating habits didn't affect my weight too much (I'd already gained the freshman 30 by then!)

3. I watch repeats of "NCIS" and "Law and Order: Criminal Intent" and "SVU" on USA.

4. Thanks to the Boyfriend, I'm now a member of the WWE Universe. Yes, I tune in to "Monday Night Raw," "ECW" and "Smackdown" whenever I get a chance. Since I work nights (3-7 p.m.), I'm not always able to watch.

5. I'm not a huge fan of exercise. Big surprise, right? If I loved to work out and ate properly, I wouldn't be the proud owner of a weight loss blog, now would I?

6. My mom used to say I have champagne tastes and a beer budget.

7. Both my parents died in 2003, within a month of one another. That fall, after their deaths, my roommate and I started doing Atkins. I weighed 276 when I started. I low-carbbed my way to 169 (with a goal of 160) and then met my Boyfriend, started eating carbs again and regained about 70 pounds. Weighed 246 when I joined WW and am back down to the 180s.

I'll have to think about who I want to nominate and get back to you on that one.

Now, on to the contest. I love soup ... especially Progresso's light soups. They're fantastically filling and so low in Points. I can eat the whole can without blowing it.

Roni's giving us a chance to win soup:

I entered Roni's Souper Duper Contest!

Check out Roni’s Weight Loss Blog for more information.

Health screening

2010-01-12T17:55:00.000-08:00

Had my health screening at work today and the results left something to be desired.

First off, their scale weighed me at 193.6 ... That's way off from the home scale, which said 186.something this morning. Granted, I did eat a donut at the mall this afternoon, but that shouldn't have caused a 7-pound gain. (The good news is the donut, filled with peanut-butter cream was way too rich. I won't be pining for one of those every time I walk past the bakery anymore.)

They did a body composition test (based on the higher weight) and my body fat came out at 34.3 percent. Not great, by any stretch of the imagination ... but I can remember when I first started Atkins, my body fat percentage bordered on 46 percent. That makes 34.3 percent an improvement. Still, it can be better — loads better.

My other results:

BMI: 27.8
Total Cholesterol: 169
HDL (good) Cholesterol: 44
Blood sugar (not fasting): 133 (I'm blaming the donut!)
BP: 140/76

With the stats recorded for posterity, it's time to concentrate on "The Biggest Loser." I think I'll do some exercise while I watch.

Good news from the scale

2010-01-11T12:12:00.001-08:00

Finally! After about a month straight of gains, I saw the scale move in the right direction this week.

That's right: Down 2.8 pounds.

Can I get a woo-hoo? Sure, I'm still higher than I'd like. But at least things are finally going the right way. It's about time, too.

Even after all this time, I find it amazing how just a little success sets me up to have a great, on-plan day. Having seen the scale go down this morning, I'm determined to make good choices all day. I had a healthy breakfast and a lunch that focused on WW "Filling Foods."

The only thing missing from the equation today? Exercise. I haven't done any of that. I'm using my lingering cold as an excuse ... but it's not a good one. I should get in at least 10 minutes' worth of exercise. It won't kill me, and it might even make me feel better.

A girl can dream, right?

Why is it?

2010-01-10T23:52:00.000-08:00

After a couple of days of very bad choices, I'm left wondering one thing: Why is it that when we feel sick, we go straight for the comfort foods?

I've had a horrible, voice-losing cold for the last few days. On Saturday, I couldn't speak above a whisper. Yet I managed to stuff my face with all kinds of bad-for-me foods ... mainly cheesy, gooey Mexican dishes.

I don't get it. But at least I'm on the mend now — thank goodness. Today, instead of getting a chocolate malt at Sonic, I stopped myself. I got a diet Dr Pepper with low-cal cherry syrup instead ... and a vanilla cone, but at least it wasn't the shake.

The even better new news? I've been drinking hot tea like it's going out of style, so I had no problem getting enough liquid.

(You know what Monty Python says ... always look on the bright side ...) :D

Cookies got me

2010-01-07T00:41:00.001-08:00

I made a choice to eat a cookie at the mall at lunchtime. In retrospect, it wasn't the best choice I could have made. I figured I was doing OK by eating a cookie and not the baked chips that came with my turkey sub from Subway. Sure, it was 5 Points vs. 3 for the chips, but I really wanted the cookie — and at least I didn't eat BOTH.

And I'd have probably been fine had I not decided to have Starbucks, too, before I headed to work. That means I wasted 8 Points on a cookie and coffee, because I got a peppermint mocha (even with less syrup, I've been counting them as 3). The latte is pictured on my desk at work, along with a holiday photo of my darling nephew. Cute, isn't he?

Then, toward the end of my shift at work, the press guys came up and said "We have cookies in the back."

Now, I should have just said "no." But I still have a hard time turning down free food ... especially desserts. So I made the trek back to the pressroom (at least it put some extra steps on the pedometer!) and fetched us some cookies. :P

That cookie added 5 more Points to the total in my chart, meaning I had 34 Points for the day ... 11 FPs down on Day 2 of the WW week.

So that goal didn't happen. However, the other three did. I exercised, I tracked and I did something else I can't remember at the moment.

To shamelessly corrupt a classic Meatloaf song (sorry, Mr. Loaf), three out of four ain't bad.

Food	Units
egg scrambled w/ mushroom, onion, & 1 oz. ham on sandwich thin	4
6-inch turkey sub w/ veggies, cheese, mustard	6
cookie	5
ff peppermint mocha w/ 1 pump less of each syrup	3
ww 2-point almond bar - yum!	2
2 svg. easy fried rice http://www.weightwatchers.com/food/rcp/index.aspx?recipeid=182921&sc=11	6
jello sf chocolate mousse	1
100-cal pk yogurt-covered pretzels	2
Total:	29

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Day 1 of the rest of my healthy new life ...

2010-01-05T21:41:00.000-08:00

Got sidetracked over the weekend with the Boyfriend (which extended into Monday, because we're both off on Mondays), but I was back on track today.

Needless to say, the year so far has not been a great one for my theme, "just do it." I've had moments, but most of the time has been spent NOT doing what needs to be done.

That changes now. I need to do this for myself ... I need to do it to stop the scale's creep in the wrong direction (up another pound since last Monday's official WW weigh-in).

Today was a great day. I stayed in my Points, without eating any FPs, and I got in 20 minutes of exercise — a 15-minute walk, plus extra walking and some toning exercises while I watched "The Biggest Loser" season premiere that I taped earlier tonight. Right now I'm drinking green tea while I blog and watch the show, but as soon as I'm done blogging, I'm going to pick up the weights.

For dinner, I tried a new recipe. I bought the Hungry Girl recipe cards with part of my Christmas gift card from my brother and sister-in-law, and made the sesame peanut noodles (using tofu shirataki noodles). They were pretty good, though I think I prefer the "Hungry Girlfredo" fettucine Alfredo swap. Maybe if I bulk them up a little with some ham or chicken or something ... I was hungry too soon after eating dinner. Had to have some beet salad and then some almonds shortly thereafter.

Then again, the total for all that food was just 7 Points (4 for the noodles, 1 for the beets and 2 for the almonds). That's not a bad total for dinner (especially after several days of overindulging).

Here's the Tweet, Eat, Post chart for the day:

Food	Units
ww 2-point almond crunch bar — yum!	2
ww cheddar twists	2
greek salad w/ chicken	6
fiber one pop tart	3
hg peanut noodles	4
orange-beet salad	1
15-minute walk
100-cal pk almonds	2
100-cal pak chocolate covered pretzels	2
2 clementines	1
Total:	23

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Goals for Wednesday:

• Eat just 23 Points, using perhaps 2 or 3 FPs (no more)
• Get at least 10 minutes of exercise
• Drink at least 8 8-ounce glasses of liquid (mostly H2O)
• Track every morsel that goes into my mouth

Totally do-able, I know!

Reflecting on 2009, planning for 2010

2009-12-31T21:39:00.000-08:00

Here in Arizona, there's a little less than 90 minutes to New Year's Day. I'm sitting on the couch, watching "The Twilight Zone" marathon on SyFy while trying to settle on my New Year's resolutions.

They, of course, will involve finally getting to my goal weight. I was so close in 2009 ... but just couldn't manage to get over the hump. Somewhere along the way, I lost my focus.

I used part of a gift card from my brother to buy "The Spark," by SparkPeople founder Chris Downie. I've skimmed through it, and one thing — under "Cornerstone: Focus" jumped out at me:

Are you working each day toward something that really matters to you?

I haven't been — at least not when it comes to weight loss. (I have, however, been doing a pretty good job focusing on my writing in the last several months. But that's another story. I need to be able to do both.)

Stephanie Quialo (Twitter name @skinnyjeans) suggests, instead of making resolutions, having a New Year's Theme ... it's more flexible and fun — and (my added thought) hopefully easier to achieve.

With that thought in mind, I've been toying with ideas all afternoon. I thought about making it the start of "The New Me Decade," where I do what I need to do to take care of myself.

I've also considered "no excuses" and "just do it," both variations on the same theme: Doing things I might not always want to do because they are things I need to do. I need to get in activity and I need to eat within my Points.

I need to do these things even if I don't want to do them. I need to do them to get to goal and maintain ... I need to do them for me. For my health, happiness and peace of mind.

Can't stop eating crap

2009-12-30T07:10:00.000-08:00

It happened again. I ate too many sweets at work, and then, when I got off, went to Del Taco for something salty to "cut the sweet."

I know better. Why did I let that happen? :P

Oh well. Today is a new day, a fresh start. I'll make it a good one.

I must be getting old

2009-12-29T01:14:00.000-08:00

Today's doctor's visit was all that I expected it to be — and more.

The doctor's scale (which always sucks) put me around 197 ... but the WW scale had me at 193.4 just 2 hours later. (That's still up a pound from last week, but a one-pound gain is acceptable considering the crap I ate all weekend.)

The doctor wants me to start taking baby aspirin and calcium supplements every day. Jeez ... Like I don't already have enough trouble remembering to take a multivitamin! :D

I'm also supposed to get my blood pressure checked several times before I go back to see him in February, because it's borderline high. Ugh.

I did go ahead and ask for a note setting a new goal weight ... but I did not turn it in at my meeting. He wrote me a note saying 175 was OK. I'm hoping that mentally freeing myself from the 170 looming over my head will give me the kick in the butt I need to recommit to losing. It certainly can't hurt, right?

So far, so good. When I got home from work tonight, I hopped on the elliptical/bike (using it as an elliptical) that's hanging out in our kitchen at the moment. Did 15 minutes while my Candy Cane Lane tea was cooling enough to drink it.

Sure, it was only 15 minutes ... but that's 15 minutes more than I'd gotten done earlier today. I'll take it! Tomorrow's goal: At least 20 minutes of exercise (preferably more).

Not looking for much

2009-12-27T23:44:00.000-08:00

My weigh-in is tomorrow, and I'm not counting on it being a good one. Again this week, I had more bad days than good. (Monday, Tuesday and Sunday were good; the rest weren't.)

Before WI, I head to the doctor's office for my annual exam. I'm toying with the idea of asking him if I should get a note from him to up my goal weight to 180 ... That's 10 pounds higher than it currently is, and 8 pounds above the upper end of my range.

He'll say "no," I'm sure. There's no reason why I shouldn't be able to hit 170 ...

Well, there is: It's my laziness. I've been a bad Weight Watcher. I didn't count Points Wednesday, Thursday, Friday or Saturday ... and on Saturday, especially, I ate a lot of junk I didn't need (including Taco Bell for dinner). If I spent as much time on-plan as off-plan, I'd be at my goal by now.

The only reason I'm thinking about it is to save money, anyway. If I bump up my goal, I can get there that much faster, and then I'll be able to quit paying for WW meetings.

I want to hit 170, darn it ... and soon. It's going to take commitment and fewer excuses.

Online, on the phone and in the kitchen

2009-12-22T20:00:00.000-08:00

As I said earlier, I spent most of the day on the phone or running errands. When I wasn't doing that, I was online.

I did, however, find time to make myself a healthy dinner (after

getting Subway for lunch).

Dinner was a turkey sandwich (2 oz. turkey, FF Miracle whip and honey mustard on a Sandwich Thin) and zucchini fries (a whole zucchini cut into spears, tossed with 2 tsp. honey mustard and 1 tsp. olive oil, then coated with 1/3 cup Fiber One crumbs and baked for about 18 minutes). I also steamed the last of the veggies from Sunday's salad, which had been marinating in oil and balsamic vinegar. (Not the lettuce, but the carrots, broccoli and snap peas.)

I shot a photo of the fries, which were inspired by Hungry Girl. I don't know if she has a recipe for something similar, because this

is one I made up myself — but it was definitely sparked by HG's love of Fiber One.

A couple of hours after dinner, I made a peppermint milkshake with my Magic Bullet. I love that thing. It was a Christmas gift from my roommate several years ago, and while I don't use it as often and the infomercial says, I do use it a lot. (Used it twice tonight — once to make the Fiber One crumbs and once for the shake. Mmm.)

The shake, which weighs in at 2 Points, was easy to make: just 1/2 cup Breyer's Free vanilla ice cream, 1/4 cup skim milk and half a candy cane. It might not be as thick and rich as a DQ peppermint Blizzard, but it also has a heck a lot fewer calories!

Don't ask why the photo is sideways. Apparently I have to change that in my photo editing program, not here in the blog.

Still stressing about money

2009-12-22T18:59:00.000-08:00

... But I've managed to stay on track pretty well today. I can probably thank the fact that I've spent so much of the day on the phone with one person or another. It left me with no time to snack.

While I was out running around, trying to straighten out my financial mess, I stopped at the bank inside a grocery store. (Whoever thought of putting banks in stores was either genius or evil. I can't decide.) Even though I was stressing over my money situation, I managed to avoid buying myself a donut.

Oh, I was tempted. I walked past the donut case several times, drooling. I also looked at slices of cake and cupcakes — stress makes me want sweets. But in the end, I avoided temptation and settled for a WW 1-Point Red Velvet bar instead. I'll count that as a small (very small) success.

I did discover that work makes me eat. I was over there for 5 minutes to use the fax (faxing paperwork to an attorney) and managed to eat three chocolate-covered pretzels. They were there; I was there ... the darn things practically automatically ended up in my mouth. Ugh.

Thanks to the unscheduled 5 p.m. sweets, I've eaten my 23 Points for the day, and it's only 8 p.m. I think I'll hop on the exercise bike so I can enjoy a snack later. A candy cane shake is calling my name — homemade, of course, to make it a heck of a lot healthier than a DQ candy cane Blizzard.

Up again

2009-12-21T12:37:00.001-08:00

I'm not surprised. Some bad financial news sent me straight to the food last night. Being an emotional eater sucks. I wish I were like the Boyfriend, who eats less when he's stressed.

Not me. I eat more. After opening a letter from my job saying a bill collector is going to start garnishing my wages (on Christmas Eve, no less — merry freakin' Christmas), I ate two cookies, some fries and chocolate cupcakes from the vending machine at work.

On top of a not-s0-great few days at the Boyfriend's house, I was up 2.8 pounds at today's official WW weigh-in. :P

That puts me back in the 190s, for crying out loud. Not where I want to be.

Could have been better

2009-12-17T01:51:00.000-08:00

But the day also could have been much, much worse.

I succumbed to a bad case of the munchies again tonight after dinner (11 Points worth of cookies, Cheez-its and Sun Chips).

However, I also tracked everything I ate. And I got in 40 whole minutes of activity, in the form of a 30-minute walk, 8 minutes on the exercise bike, 1 minute marching in place and 1 minute of modified pushups.

And I did not snack when I got home from work, even though I made the dough for a batch of my Mom's butter cookies. I was going to bake them, too, until I read the dough has to chill for an hour. (It was already 2:30 when I finished mixing it. I didn't want to be up at 4 a.m., rolling and cutting out cookies.) I plan to get up at about 8 a.m. and finish them then, instead.

I'm making some to take to the Boyfriend's when I head down there tomorrow — and also to take to our office Christmas party at noon.

Not sure how I'm going to avoid overeating (and using up the rest of my FPs) at the party. It's a potluck. Maybe I should just plan to eat lunch before I head over there.

Here are my vows for tomorrow:

Track everything I eat, even at the party.
Get in some kind of activity.
No late-night snacking.

Keeping promises

2009-12-16T00:38:00.000-08:00

Day Two of my detox plan didn't go quite as well as Day One. I treated myself to my favorite lunch — a slice of pizza and caesar side salad from Picazzo's (11 Points!) — then had the munchies at work. I ended up devouring three Mexican Wedding Cake cookies (so good!) throughout the night.

The good news is, I tracked it all. The bad news? 12 FPs later ... Oh well. Since I'm on Day Two of the WW week, I have them to spare.

I also kept my other promise to myself for the day: To get in some kind of activity. Not only did I do a couple of extra laps around Target and park farther from the door at all my holiday shopping stops, but I also hopped on the exercise bike for 10 minutes. I pedaled for 5 minutes going forward and 5 going backward. That has to count for something, even if I did earn just 1 AP!

I'm going to become quite the hot tea afficionado. After Tina over at Carrots N Cake raved about Celestial Seasonings Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride tea, I decided to try to find some. I did, at my friendly neighborhood health food store. Not only did they have that flavor (which according to Tina is almost impossible to find), they also had three other holiday flavors, conveniently packaged in an endcap display.

I got myself two boxes: Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride and Candy Cane Lane. I had some of the Sugar Cookie flavor after dinner as a dessert substitute. It tasted delicious ... but a substitute for dessert it was not. It didn't keep me from eating cookies back at the office.

I'm sipping a mug of Candy Cane Lane right now as I write this post, in lieu of having an after-work snack. Now that's a habit I think I can get behind.

With that in mind, here are my vows for Wednesday:

Track faithfully for the day.
Get some kind of activity (preferably more than 20 minutes).
No after-work snack. Drink some tea instead.

I'll check back in with my progress.

How bad do I want it?

2009-12-14T23:50:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, I'd say the answer to that question — at least lately — is "not bad enough."

Yep. After spending another weekend with the Boyfriend, making some pretty awful choices, I've come to a realization: I haven't been working very hard to lose my last several pounds. And now, after a 4+ pound gain at the scale today, I have nearly 20 pounds to lose again. Bleah.

I know what to do. I know that sometimes I need to make the hard choices ... the not-so-fun choices ... Yet time and time again, I find myself choosing the fun, not-so-healthy things instead.

Why is that? I think I've just gotten lazy. I've been taking the easy way out (read: Drive Thru) instead of preparing myself a delicious, healthy meal. I've been giving in and eating whatever's on offer at work and at the Boyfriend's. At restaurants, I've been ordering what I want (and what looks good) instead of the healthier things I know I should get.

And I haven't been tracking the way I need to. I'll half-heartedly track part of the day, and then stop.

These are things that don't work for me — or for anyone. So why am I continually surprised that I'm stuck in the 180s? I haven't been putting in the work, yet I'm expecting good results. It doesn't work like that!

The Boyfriend and I actually had a talk yesterday ... he said he was going to stop encouraging me to eat crap. I'll believe that when I see it. Sometimes I wonder if he does it on purpose, if he doesn't want me to get to my goal weight. Then I figure that he just thinks exercise will do it all. He often tells me "Just exercise more and you can eat what you want." Again, it doesn't work like that! (At least not completely. But try telling him that.)

With that being said, today was a pretty good day. I had a fairly healthy breakfast of oatmeal with raisins, nuts and brown sugar, followed by a peppermint mocha latte (made with less syrup and skim milk). Lunch was a California roll from my favorite sushi place and my afternoon snacks were grape tomatoes, two clementines and a 100-calorie pack of roasted almonds. For dinner, since I only had 3 Points left, I ate a 0-Point salad, grilled zucchini and 2 oz. turkey on a Sandwich Thin.

When all was said and done, including a few of the cookies I made last week (one oatmeal lace after lunch and two of the double chocolate ones after dinner) and some sugar-free hot cocoa at work after dinner, I ate 26 Points. No exercise, though.

I read some advice in today's meeting materials (or maybe it was last week's ... we got both today since last Monday's meeting was canceled by weather). Someone said they commit to tracking for just one day, and that makes it seem less overwhelming.

I'm going to try that theory out, because when I make grand statements that I'm going to track every bite, every day from here on out, I feel like crap when I don't (usually on Day 1 or 2!).

So here's my pledge for tomorrow: I will track all day long and do some kind of activity, whether it's the exercise bike indoors or walking outside.

There's something about baking

2009-12-08T18:17:00.000-08:00

There's something therapeutic about creating something sweet from scratch. Home-baked treats don't just taste better than store-bought; they also transport me somewhere else — back to my childhood, when I helped Mom in the kitchen with all our holiday cookies.

So it's not surprising that today, when I was snowed in and unable to get out of town to visit the Boyfriend, I headed to the kitchen.

I baked up a storm — three batches in all. I'd have probably gone ahead with a fourth — my Mom's butter cookies — had we not been out of flour. So it's probably a good thing I didn't have flour. Three batches of cookies was more than enough.

All three recipes are from the Weight Watchers Web site. They can be found here.

First, I baked some Oatmeal Pecan Lace Cookies. But I used walnuts instead of pecans because I had a limited amount for groceries, and the walnuts were cheaper. The recipe uses no flour but still has 2 Points per serving. (I misread the instructions, and made 18 giant cookies ... but the recipe says 2 cookies make a serving, which means I should have made 36. Live and learn, I guess.)

Next, I took a break for lunch and shoveling (whoopee!). Then I whipped up the Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies. They didn't look anything like the ones in the photo at WW.com, but they still taste delicious! Better yet, they're just 1 Points apiece.

Finally, I made a batch of Spiced Peanut Butter Cookies, featuring pureed garbanzo beans. I think they're my favorite of the bunch. Yum! And just 2 Points per cookie ...

I managed to not eat too many while baking them and putting them away. I even froze half of the chocolate and PB ones for later. Still, I'm going to drop by my office with a plate full. And once I get paid, I'll probably still make a batch of Mom's butter cookies. It's just not Christmas without them.

No weigh-in Monday

2009-12-08T07:36:00.000-08:00

Because of the storm that blew through Flagstaff, the substitute WW leader couldn't make it for the Monday meetings ... so no WW meeting for me.

I did weigh in at home. 184. 2 — about a pound more than last Monday on the home scale. I'm not surprised. I had more bad days than good again.

Today, I'm celebrating a huge NSV: I finished my 90,000-word manuscript this morning (at about 5 a.m., after a marathon writing session, fueled by an early night at work and a loss of the satellite TV). You can read all about that at my other blog.

How shall I celebrate? Well, being snowed in, I'm baking a few batches of WW-friendly cookies. I picked up brown sugar and nuts Sunday night, knowing I wasn't going to be driving anywhere Monday or Tuesday with a full-on blizzard coming to town.

I may try to take a trudge through the snow, too ... but I wouldn't count on that. I will, however, keep a handle on my cookie consumption. I want to see the scale move in the right direction next week.

Feeling much better now

2009-12-06T00:23:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty good day overall. I got in a nice walk and only ate 27 Points total.

Subtract the 2 APs I earned on my walk and I only used 2 FPs. (I'm going to discount the fact that I doubt I have any left for the week after that rough patch.)

Have I mentioned that I love Hungry Girl? I baked up some of her Butternut Squash Bake after lunch, and had some as a snack, and then another serving with dinner. Delicious! Except I'm beginning to think it's not just Burger King onion rings that don't agree with me. The onions in the squash bake seemed to give me gas, too. :P

Here's the Tweet, Eat, Post version of my day. I'll try to add some pictures later, when I get them off the camera.

Food	Units
zucchini, grilled w/ 1 tsp olive oil	1
sandwich thin w/ 2 oz ham, wedge lc light, ff mayo, honey mustard	4
2 clementines	1
pumpkin fluff	1
ww 2-point double chocolate bar	2
hg cheesy butternut squash bake	2
ff tuna salad w/ crackers	3
bbq chicken sandwich	4
butternut squash bake	2
jell-o sf chocolate mousse	1
1/2 oz. peanuts	2
ww brownie	2
100-cal pk cocoa-roasted almonds - love em!	2
Total:	27

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Anyway, since it worked for me last night, I'm going to try it again: I won't be having snack when I get home from work, and I will be getting up early(ish) to take a walk before I head to the NaNoWriMo "Thank goodness it's over" party at Barnes & Noble at noon. (And, just for good measure, I WON'T be eating cheesecake like I did last Sunday at BN.)

Followed through

2009-12-05T10:59:00.001-08:00

I just finished doing what I said I was going to do: No snack after work, and a walk first thing when I woke up. (It was late morning, since I didn't get up until 10:30 ... but it was still first thing!)

I guess you could say it's a step in the right direction.

When I got back from my walk (a little more than 2 miles in 32 minutes), I fixed a healthy — and delicious — lunch. I sliced a zucchini, tossed it with olive oil, garlic and sea salt, and then grilled it on George. I also made a ham sandwich: A Sandwich Thin with 2 oz. ham, a Laughing Cow light cheese wedge and a little Miracle Whip Free and honey mustard. It, too, got the George treatment. Yum! And I peeled and ate two clementines. Double yum! I love those things ... and it's even better when you buy a bag for less than $3.

Next up? I think I'm going to make some of Hungry Girl's Cheesy Butternut Squash Bake to have as an afternoon snack and with dinner.

It's amazing how easy it is to start feeling good again! Now, all I need to do is keep up the good work.

Something's wrong

2009-12-05T00:04:00.000-08:00

I know what I should be doing — so why is it so darn hard to get it done?

Yes, after a good Tuesday, I've spent most of the rest of the week heading off the rails. Bad food choices, little exercise ... the whole enchilada.

So I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with you?"

I know I need to eat less and exercise more. I know I should choose the salad instead of the burger. I know I should be snacking out of the vending machine at work or hitting the drive-thru for late-night snacks.

So what is my problem? Is it a fear of success? Failure? Just a simple matter of being tired of being "good"? Slipping back into bad habits I thought I'd banished?

I don't know. But it stops here. I'm going to get back to work cultivating that "no excuses" attitude. Starting right now.

No after-work snack for me tonight (but I will say yes to some water. I'm dying of thirst right now.) ... and the first thing I'll do in the morning is put on my walking shoes and hit the pavement. Yes, before I even check the computer.

It really is a simple matter of making choices. It's just that lately, I've been making bad ones. That stops here. I have to do this, for myself and for my family and friends. I know they're all pulling for me.

And I want to do it for my wallet. I can think of a ton of other things to spend $12 a week on, that's for sure! :D

So far, so good

2009-12-01T12:14:00.000-08:00

With breakfast and lunch behind me, I've consumed 16 Points.

Hmm. Saying that out loud makes me realize that's actually not so great when I have just 23 Points to eat. Perhaps I need to retitle this post "So far, not so good" ...

Breakfast was HG's Egg Mug Classic on half a sandwich thin. Pretty tasty, though I still think I prefer the Egg Mug Lorraine, with bacon bits, onion and dijon mustard in the mix. After some computer time, during which I accomplished nothing but surfing the Net, I headed outside for a walk.

I ended up walking myself over to the house of a neighbor who happens to be a writer, and we decided to have lunch at Picazzo's, our favorite gourmet pizza place. I had my usual, the caesar salad/slice of pizza combo, which today happened to be a shrimp scampi pizza. Delicious! The only trouble is, it had alfredo sauce ... so I'm counting lunch as 12 Points instead of the usual 11. Hope it's not actually more than that!

Now, I'm off to the Boyfriend's for some quality time with my computer until he gets home from work. I'll work much better being at the Starbucks in Camp Verde, away from the temptations of the Internet.

My heroine is about to impulsively cut off the long, blonde hair she's been hiding behind for years. And then she's going to wish she had it back.

Three snacks in one photo

2009-11-30T22:30:00.000-08:00

Overall, for the first day I've counted Points in a while, I'll count this one as a victory. I ate 28 total — 23 plus my 5 FPs. But I also got in a 16-minute walk, so I earned 1 AP. I'll take it!

This afternoon while working at my desk, I had some WW cheddar twists, then 2 clementines and a Quaker Chewy Granola bar. Impressively, I got all three snacks in just one picture!

After indulging in curly fries for lunch, I ended up with 6 Points left for dinner. I ate a serving of cider stew (pictured in the post below, with the recipe) with half a Sandwich Thin to soak up the extra cider-sauce. That was exactly 6 Points, so the pumpkin fluff I ate for dessert was the start of the FPs.

I also had an apple with peanut butter and then a WW peanut butter cookie. So I snacked a bit more than I might like, but overall remained in control.

Let's see if I can go for two days in a row, especially seeing as how I'll be at the Boyfriend's tomorrow and Wednesday.

Food	Units
svg. pumpkin fluff w/ ff cool whip	1
arby's jr. roast beef sandwich	6
arby's kids meal curly fries - should have gotten the applesauce instead	5
ww cheddar twists	2
2 clementines	1
chewy granola bar	2
cider stew	5
1/2 sandwich thin	1
1/2 c pumpkin fluff w/ ff cool whip	1
honeycrisp apple w/ 1 t rf pb	3
ww pb cookie	1
Total:	28

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

P.S. I included a gratuitous shot of my Christmas tree for all you holiday lovers out there. The roommate and I put it up Sunday morning, before I headed off to my write-in.

One thing I ate right this weekend

2009-11-30T14:24:00.000-08:00

I dusted off an old idea: Cider Stew. My mom made this when I was younger, and it was delicious.

But instead of making it on the stovetop, I decided to do it in the Crock Pot. The result was just as delicious as I remember ... and fairly healthy, too. It was the one decent thing I ate all weekend! :D

I hope you like it as much as I do. Here's the recipe:

Chop veggies and apple into smallish pieces of approximately the same size to ensure even cooking. Put all in a lined slow cooker. Stir to mix well. Put beef on top. Sprinkle with thyme, salt and pepper. Pour in cider.

Cook at least 8 hours, until beef is fall-apart tender.

Makes 6 servings of about 1 1/2 cups each.

On the nutritional front, it stacks up pretty well: 268 calories, 5.1 g fat (1.8 sat.), 36.8 g carb (5 g fiber, 17.4 sugars) and 19.5 g pro. That gives it a WW Points value of 5.

P.S. I'll try to add a picture later, after I heat some up for dinner.

Battling "What the hell" weekend-itis

2009-11-30T12:41:00.000-08:00

Yes, I've been struggling the last few days (since Thanksgiving late-night, actually). However, that did not keep me from seeing the scale go in the right direction at today's WI.

I was down 2.8 pounds, for a total of 56.6 since starting WW. And that puts me at 14.4 pounds left to go to hit my WW goal, meaning I'm almost as low as I was back in October.

It's about time! I've been bouncing in the 180s for much, much too long.

Anyway, back to my weekend problem. I stayed pretty much OP through the week, even with Thanksgiving. I didn't pig out at the big feast, and I only had ONE piece of pumpkin pie. But when Friday evening rolled around, I for some reason decided to chuck it ... I ate pretty badly all weekend long.

I need to figure out why that happens. This time, I can't blame it on the Boyfriend, because I was on my own (and at work and writing on my novel, which hit the NaNoWriMo halfway point of 25K ... unfortunately, it's supposed to be at the finish line of 50K by Nov. 30.)

So today, I'm getting back in the food journal habit, starting with the afternoon snacks. (Breakfast and lunch are already over, and not snapped.) And right now, it's off for a quick walk before I head in to work.

Off to a healthy start (11/26 breakfast)

2009-11-26T08:13:00.000-08:00

So far, my Thanksgiving is going great.

I woke up early and got about 600 words written on my novel (not a huge amount, but there's still a chance for me to do more before the Boyfriend gets back home).

While I was writing, I ate my healthy breakfast: 2 clementines and a Nutri-grain cherry cereal bar (my favorite flavor). That's just 3 Points, so I have plenty left for later! Yes, I'm aware that I should eat some lunch, too. I'll try to keep it to about the same number of Points, leaving me with plenty for the big turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

I still have most of my FPs for the week, seeing as how it's only Day 3 for me. I'm thankful for a Tuesday start to my WW week! :D

Seriously, I have a lot to be thankful for. Roni's question of the week asked exactly that, and though I haven't answered yet, I've been thinking about it.

Here's a quick rundown. I'm thankful for:

Friends and family, especially a new nephew born healthy and happy.
The chance to share my weight struggles with you all, my Weight Watchers friends and the Blog to Lose community.
A job that I enjoy (most of the time).
My writer friends in Northern Arizona Romance Writers of America, who inspire me to set goals and keep going. I'm going to start looking for an agent soon, I think.
My RWA Golden Heart entry is complete, and has been received at RWA HQ.
Whatever meager following my blog(s) may have. Someday, it'll grow.

I'm also planning a walk before dinner. In fact, I may take it right after I finish this post.

Here's a photo of last night's dinner, too. I had a baked sweet potato with salad and a turkey burger (7 Points total). Dessert was a bowl of Special K

chocolaty delight with skim milk (3 more), and later I had a 100-calorie Reese's PB cookie bar (another 3). The day's total was 27, so I used 4 FPs.

Anybody out there? (11/25 Lunch)

2009-11-25T12:34:00.000-08:00

It feels like I'm talking to myself. I guess that's OK, because I do that quite often. Sometimes I even answer myself, which I know is a sign of insanity ... or maybe it's just a good imagination. I can carry on conversations in my head.

Of course, it'd be nice to know someone else is listening. So if you want to drop me a comment, I'd be much obliged.

After being sick yesterday, I feel pretty good today. I slept in until about 11 a.m. and then had a WW 2-Point Fruit & Nut bar (not pictured). After doing a bit of cleaning for my roommate's guests Thursday, I whipped up a delicious healthy lunch.

Using leftover tomato paste from last week's Crock Pot Stuffed Peppers, I made myself some meat sauce with 3 oz. lean ground beef, 1/4 cup onions, 1/4 cup chopped mushroom and basil, oregano, garlic powder and onion powder (3 Points). I put it over a serving of whole wheat pasta (another 3 Points) and topped it with 2 T reduced fat mozzarella and a grilled zucchini.

It was delicious ... and it took care of the craving I had for something gooey and cheesy. (Last night, had I had the money and anyone else would have been interested, I would have called out for pizza at work. I'm glad I didn't, though. I ended up having a 25-Point day ... forgot to add in the teryaki tuna and crackers I ate at my desk last night when I said I'd only eaten 16. I'd actually had 21, and then went home and fixed myself a can of Eating Right spaghettios, bringing the total to 25. Still a pretty good day, considering most of what I ate was junk food.)

Counting it as a victory

2009-11-25T00:19:00.000-08:00

I had my WI Monday, but went to the evening meeting in Cottonwood instead of my regular morning one in Flagstaff. Their scale said I weighed exactly the same as last Monday.

Since I weigh heavier in the afternoon, I'm going to take that as a sign that I actually was down a bit from last week. Even if not, I should count myself lucky after the not-great weekend I had. The food journal fell by the wayside, and I ate several things I shouldn't have — starting with a delicious (but not-so-nutritious) barbecue bacon burger at my writer's group meeting Saturday.

The scale should be down now. I've been battling a 36-hour bug, and spent last night throwing up and doing other unsavory things. Today, I've eaten very little: A junior burger from Sonic, a small cone from McDonald's and (the worst offender) a 6-Point bag of Doritos from the vending machine at work. Why is it that the bags you get in multi-packs are only 3 Points, but the vending machine bags are double that? Not fair!

So I've only eaten 16 Points for the day. Guess I should go home and make myself a healthy 7-Point snack. Perhaps part of the reason I feel like crap right now is because I haven't eaten enough — or enough of the right things — today.

I hope so. I told the Boyfriend, who gave me whatever I had (he had it Sunday night; I had it Monday), that if that's what it's like to be pregnant, I don't want to be pregnant. I hate puking. :P

Thursday: A mixed bag

2009-11-20T01:11:00.000-08:00

Woke up and the home scale told me I weighed 182.4 — down 3 pounds from Tuesday! I also put my Golden Heart entry in the mail, so I was feeling pretty fine this morning.

I treated myself to my favorite salad/pizza lunch from Picazzo's to celebrate, but then took a 20-minute walk afterward. During the walk, I even did a few minutes of jogging — about 5, I think. I lost track.

It was all downhill from there. I overindulged in the tortilla chips that were hanging out in the break room at work ... I shouldn't have eaten even one, because I know I have a hard time stopping. But I ate one ... and then another one ... and then I lost count. I probably used at least 10 FPs tonight, and I'm still hungry.

I'm thinking about eating more of the pork I had for dinner when I leave work. But being ribs cooked in the slow cooker with green salsa, it's not the healthiest meal I've ever made. It was, however, delicious. A coworker gave me the recipe when he moved to Hawaii and gave me his Crock Pot.

Then again, I don't need pork at 2 a.m. I should just go home and go to sleep. The pork will be there in the morning (and healthier, because I'll be able to skim off some of the fat once it's chilled).

I think I just successfully talked myself out of snacking on pork! Let's hope so. I'd like to see the scale continue to drop.

A case of the munchies

2009-11-19T00:26:00.000-08:00

Today should have been another stellar, OP day — but it wasn't quite as good as I'd hoped.

I started off strong with a 3-Point breakfast and a 3-Point snack, but by the time lunch rolled around, I was starving. I stopped at Subway for a buffalo chicken 6-inch sub on honey-oat bread. I tried to order sensibly, getting just the sandwich instead of the meal with baked chips. I was hungry enough to devour an apple on the drive from Subway to the house ... and I sliced up a zucchini and grilled it on George to go with the sandwich. That made for an 8-Point lunch, so I was already down 14 for the day.

Then the trouble really started. I had a Diet Soda Cupcake (2 Points), some Hungry Girl-inspired homemade Doritos (corn tortillas sprayed with cooking spray and sprinkled with a mixture of taco seasoning and Land O Lakes sharp cheddar seasoning, for 1 Point) and two clementines. I also snacked on a chewy granola bar (2 more).

And that left me with very few Points — 3 to be exact — for dinner. I ate a stuffed pepper and a salad with EVOO and balsamic vinegar (5 Points) and then had some SF Jell0 mousse (1). The after-work snack was some homemade popcorn, bringing my grand total so far to 27 Points.

No exercise to offset what I ate today. The walk fell by the wayside as I finished up my Golden Heart entry. So that means I've used 3 FPs for the day — IF I don't have a snack when I get home tonight ... and that's a BIG if. My post-work snacks are probably just habit by now, but I swear my stomach is rumbling right now.

Food	Units
hg egg mug classic on sandwich thin	3
slice chocolate pumpkin loaf	3
6-inch buffalo ckn sub, no cheese	7
honeycrisp apple	1
grilled zucchini	0
diet soda cupcake, halved, w/ 1 tbsp ff cool whip	2
hg-inspired homemade "doritos"	1
2 clementines	1
quaker chewy granola bar - oatmeal raisin	2
salad w/ 1tsp evoo, balsamic vinegar	1
stuffed pepper	4
jell-o mousse	1
homemade microwave popcorn	1
Total:	27

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

FPs used today: 3; Total used for week: 4.5.

Day 1 of WW week went well

2009-11-18T10:26:00.001-08:00

Tuesday was a successful Day One for my WW week. I ate 27.5 Points but took a 50-minute, 3+ mile walk that earned me 3 APs. That means I only used 1.5 Flex Points for the day. Considering I usually use all 5, I'm not complaining.

I need to try to save up some FPs, though. I have my romance writers group meeting on Saturday, and it's not easy to order something low in Points at the restaurant where the meeting is held.

Speaking of romance, I spent the morning at a write-in, boosting that NaNoWriMo word count. I've written 14,500+ words since Nov. 1 — an amazing number for me, and that doesn't include my random blog posts. It's only words in the manuscript I'm currently working on. I just might have it finished by the end of the year if I can keep up this pace.

Of course, this pace is a bit hectic. I'm still finding it tough to balance the day job with writing, blogging, eating right and exercising. Why is it so hard to get the balance right?

This morning started off with Hungry Girl's Egg Mug Classic on a Sandwich Thin. Delicious (but I still like the Egg Mug Lorraine, with a few bacon bits and dijon mustard, better)! Then, after hour one of the two-hour write-in, I treated myself to a serving of the Chocolate Pumpkin Loaf I made yesterday.

Now, I'm about to leave the coffee shop for a walk and healthy lunch before heading into work. And I'm still trying to finish up my Golden Heart entry before I leave for work. Wish me luck!

Successful experiment

2009-11-17T12:30:00.001-08:00

I've had a busy, busy morning. Not only did I manage to get up early (thanks to a call from the Boyfriend) and eat a healthy breakfast, but also to take a 50-minute walk AND bake a loaf of chocolate-pumpkin bread.

I saw the recipe over at Carrots 'N' Cake this morning and knew I HAD to try it. But I didn't want to make it as it was written, because it had a lot of sugar in it. We all know "limit added sugar and alcohol" is one of Weight Watchers' 8 Good Health Guidelines, and since I'm trying to be good this week, I

didn't want to blow that on Day 1.

So I set out, using my knowledge of healthy cooking, to improve on the recipe. Here's my version:

3/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 cup Splenda
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 can (7.5 ounces) pumpkin
1/4 cup chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 325*F. Spray loaf pan with nonstick cooking spray (butter flavor would be nice, but I'm out and had to use regular).

2. Combine all ingredients in large mixing bowl; blend well.

3. Once mixed, pour batter into loaf pan. Bake for 40-45 minutes, until top is firm and a toothpick comes out clean.

I must admit, the result doesn't look like much, especially after I cut it into 16 pieces, the way it is in the photo above. And I was nervous because the batter was so darn thick. Take my word for it: It tastes better than it looks. It was so delicious I'm having to fight to keep myself from having a second piece. But since 1/16 of the loaf is about 3 Points, that's not an option right now.

I'll take one with me to the write-in tomorrow morning. Work on my NaNo MS is coming along — up past 13K. Since I'm aiming for 40,000, I'll be halfway when I hit 20K ... and I'm about to take my characters off to Alaska, where there'll be plenty of opportunities for madcap adventures (and, finally, some lovemaking. They still haven't done it, and I'm 20+ chapters into it! Nothing like building the tension, eh?).

I'm thinking about taking a few slices to work to share, and freezing a few more. I also promised the Boyfriend I'd bring him one next time I see him (though if that's not til Monday, he may be SOL.) The fewer I have in the house, ready to eat, the better. :D

More bad days than good

2009-11-16T23:03:00.000-08:00

Considering that I had meltdown moments on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday of last week, I'm really not surprised that the scale didn't behave the way I wanted it to today.

Add in the fact that I chugged a 16.9-ounce bottle of water on the drive up from the Boyfriend's to my WW meeting, and the cause of my gain is easy to see. It was either too much bad food or the water that I thought I'd manage to eliminate when I arrived — or a combination of the two.

The damage could have been worse, I suppose. I was up just 1 pound (and some of that could have been from the water).

Regardless, it's a reminder that I need to have more good days than bad if I'm going to see the scale go in the right direction. Here's to a much better week.

And here's today's food journal — at least what I managed to remember to shoot.

Breakfast after my WI was a clementine (I ate another one just like it on the drive up from Eric's). For lunch, I ate leftover beans with a turkey hot dog on half a Sandwich Thin. Dessert was a Diet Soda Cupcake, halved, filled with 1 Tablespoon of FF Cool Whip and then frozen for about 15 minutes. Can I just say yum?

My at-work snacks were a stick of RF sharp cheddar cheese and then, a little later, my newest find: Goldfish S'mores. You get chocolate goldfish, graham goldfish and these cute little fish-shaped marshmallows. Delicious! And a serving has just 3 Points.

For dinner, I made stuffed bell peppers in the Crock Pot. It was the recipe our WW leader, Colleen, shared with us this week, and it sounded so good that I picked up the missing ingredients on the way home. Half the recipe made 3 servings, so I froze two for quick dinners later on.

No real activity to speak of today, but I got a few hundred more words written on my manuscript for the NaNoWriMo. I'm making a walk a priority in the morning though, whether it's cold outside or not.

I know, I know. Those are brave words for someone who hates being cold! :D

Here's my Tweet, Eat, Post chart:

Food	Units
2 clementines	1
1 cup bush's baked beans, turkey dog & 1/2 sandwich thin	8
diet soda cupcake, halved, w/ 1 t ff cool whip	2
rf sharp cheddar stick	2
1 svg s'mores goldfish crackers	3
stuffed bell pepper	5
yoplait parfait - lemon torte	2
1/2 oz peanuts	2
Total:	25

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Cheesy goodness

2009-11-15T01:53:00.001-08:00

Tonight after work it was the GOOD kind of cheesy goodness I enjoyed — a 2-Point grilled cheese made with a Sandwich Thin and a slice of reduced-fat American cheese.

Too bad I can't say the same for last night. After a stressful Friday night at work, I hitthe Del Taco drive-thru. I got not only a

cheeseburger and small fries, but also a taco — and I ate every bite. And that was after buying a bag of cheddar and sour cream Ruffles

from the office vending machine at about 10 p.m.

What was I thinking? I don't even want to think about how many Points were in all that food!

I am, however, trying to figure out why I had different reactions to the same stressor. Friday night, after a stressful night at work, I ate. Tonight, I had an equally stressful night, but it almost seemed like I was too busy to eat. (I wish that happened more often!) :D

Maybe it was another one of those "I blew it" moments. After breakfast and lunch,

I had just 4 Points to last me for the rest of the day.

Maybe, subconsciously, I decided that I'd already blown it, so I kept on eating. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

Hmm ... Any other ideas out there? I'd really like to figure it out so it doesn't happen again.

Now, back to today's photographic food journal. I didn't wake up until noon, so breakfast was a nonstarter. Lunch was grilled zucchini, quinoa and black beans and 2 ounces of ham and a slice of cheese on a Western Alternatives onion bagel. Pretty tasty, if I do say so myself — and only 6 Points.

After lunch, I took a nice, brisk 26-minute walk around the neighborhood — in the cold with snow flurries flying in the air. When I told the Boyfriend that, proud of my accomplishment, he told me I should have walked longer. Hmph.

My at-work snacks consisted of the bag of mini Oreos I took in with me (1 Point), two clementines (another 1 Point — they were on sale at Fry'

s for $2.47 a bag) and some light Pina Colada yogurt (also 1 Point.)

Can I just say, I love

that Kroger brand Pina Colada light yogurt? I'd never seen it before, but it, too, was on sale and I decided I had to try it.

Yum! I'll be buying that again, for sure.

Dinner was a salad with balsamic vinegar and 1 tsp EVOO, followed by some Jell-O

sugar-free dark chocolate mousse — a total of 7 Points. I took an ounce of peanuts (4 Points) and a Kashi TLC bar to snack on throughout the evening. (Sorry. Forgot to snap those — but you've seen them here before.)

And that brings me back to my post-work grilled cheese — a much healthier choice than last night's fast-food fest.

My memory is like a ...

2009-11-13T00:07:00.000-08:00

If I could remember the rest of that saying, I'd fill in the blank. Seriously — my memory just keeps getting worse. I'd take that herb that's supposed to help improve your memory if I could only remember what it is ... :D

Just kidding — I know its gingko biloba. This is just my way of letting you know that I forgot to take a picture of dinner. It's not like last night, when dinner was so horrible that I wouldn't have wanted to show you had I remembered to take the pictures.

No, tonight's dinner was pretty good: A salad w/ homemade dressing (1 tsp EVOO and a couple splashes of balsamic vinegar and a WW Smart Ones flatbread sandwich (Points total of 7 — 6 for the sandwich and 1 for the salad). After dinner, I had some Jell-O chocolate mousse and later, at work, a chewy granola bar.

Add in my at-work snack of a Diet Soda cupcake (2) and banana mousse (2), which I did remember to shoot (although the photo looks fuzzier than it did on the preview screen), and that makes for a day's total of 25. The chart below says 22 because it subtracted the 3 APs I earned on my walk ... but I don't have to use them all if I don't want to. Haven't yet decided if I want a midnight snack when I leave work — and if so, what I want.

Decisions, decisions!

Food	Units
egg-o-muffin http://bit.ly/3e7rsg on light english muffin w/ 1 tsp. lt. mayo	4
42-minute walk [-3]	-3
instant brown rice in single-serve cup, 1 cup hormel turkey chili & grilled zucchini	7
banana "mousse" w/ diet soda cupcake	4
ww smart ones steak & ranch flatbread sandwich	6
salad w/ pickled beets, a sprinkle of bacon bits, 1 tsp evoo/balsamic vinegar	1
jell-o mousse	1
oatmeal raisin granola bar	2
Total:	22

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Off to a much better start (11/12 Breakfast & Lunch)

2009-11-12T12:14:00.000-08:00

There still aren't enough hours in the day to get done all I want to do ... but today I chose exercise.

After being up until 3:30 a.m., I slept until about 10:30. Then I got up and had a healthy breakfast. I had two of these Egg-o-Muffins in the freezer, so I heated them up, threw them on a light English muffin smeared with just a little light mayo and had a delicious (and filling) breakfast to power me through the ext

ra-long walk I had planned. It weighed in at 4 Points (2 for the eggs, 1 each for the muffin and mayo).

Next, I fired up the iPod and hit the pavement. I headed into a nearby neighborhood with a few good-sized hills, figuring I needed the hills after last night's book club meeting fiasco.

All told, the Nike+ said I walked 3.8 km (a little over 2 miles) in 42 minutes. Now, I know this isn't quite right, because it stopped registering my pace (and progress) at least three times. I probably walked closer to 3 1/2 ... but that's just a guesstimate.

When I got back to the house, I spent a little time online, uploading my walk to the Nike Web site and checking Twitter, then headed to the kitchen to make myse

lf some lunch before work. I opted for quick and easy with some instant brown rice, Hormel turkey chili and grilled zucchini. Yum — and all for just 7 Points!

Now, it's time to get ready for work. No writing for me this morning. But I do feel better for having treated my body to the nice, brisk walk it needed.

Not the best day

2009-11-12T01:01:00.000-08:00

My plan — to eat something before I went to my Book Club meeting so I wouldn't partake of so many goodies — didn't work. I didn't get a chance to eat the Quinoa and Black Beans I'd planned on (recipe still coming, I promise!), and arrived at the meeting STARVED.

You can guess what happened next: I inhaled about 10 bite-sized quiches, several chips with salsa and way too much cheesy artichoke dip with pita chips. Two pieces of cake also were involved (but, to my credit, they were small pieces of cake — and it was a light berries and cream type of thing, not rich chocolate).

Needless to say, I forgot all about taking photos.

But I'm not going to let that derail my week. No siree! Instead, I'm going to take a little bit longer walk in the morning, before I settle in to read my Golden Heart entry ... the deadline to ship that puppy off is creeping ever nearer, and I want to read through it at least one more time before I make the final print so I can make copies and put it in the mail.

As I told my friends over at Blog to Lose yesterday, it's about persistence, not perfection.

Now if you'll excuse me, the midnight munchies are about to strike. Instead of saying "screw it" and hitting the all-night drive thru for some fries, I'm going to go home and make myself some "fries" on the George Foreman grill.

As Hungry Girl might say, baby steps, people ... baby steps.

Amazing what a week of strict tracking will do ...

2009-11-10T10:30:00.000-08:00

I had my WI yesterday morning, but didn't get a minute to blog about it all afternoon. (Headed straight to the Boyfriend's after the meeting, and then he wanted to run to Prescott to buy a new GPS ... We had an early dinner at Olive Garden — only 10 Points for me! — but I ruined it by eating HIS leftovers at about 8 p.m. That's what happens when I eat dinner at 3 p.m.!)

Anyway, back to WI — I was down 4.4 pounds! Yep. I not only lost the 3 I gained last week, but a few more for good measure, and I think I have my new photo food journal to thank. I'm planning to keep it up again this week and see what happens.

Getting used to it

2009-11-09T00:47:00.000-08:00

This visual food journal thing takes some getting used to. I forgot to snap photos of several things I ate this weekend. OK ... perhaps I purposely forgot a few. Nah ... I wouldn't do that! :D

Saturday started out with those yummy pumpkin pancakes from Green Lite Bites and some sugar-free syrup (5 Points total).

Lunch a couple of hours later was a burrito from Burritos Fiesta, a delicious little place next to (you guessed it) TCBY. I capped off a tasty chicken burrito with a kid-sized pumpkin yogurt from next door (another 12 Points).

Having eaten too many points by that time (a total of 17 if I'm estimating the burrito correctly at 10), I admit it: I went a little nuts. That darn "I already messed up, so screw it" attitude crept in. At work, I ate a Halloween-sized box of Hot Tamales, then went for the healthy apple I'd bought (2 more Points).

Tried to get back on track at dinner, eating a nice, healthy salad complete with a dressing of EVOO/balsamic vinegar and 2 ounces of turkey and cheese on a Sandwich Thin (4 Points).

After dinner, I had another Kashi TLC dark chocolate coconut bar and some Brach's Autumn Mix (5 Points total for both). I also munched on another Halloween-pack of Whoppers and a bag of microwave popcorn that you didn't see in the pictures, bringing the day's total to 32. And I doubt I had enough FPs left to cover it. :P

Today, I slept through breakfast. I didn't get up until almost 2 p.m., actually. Even so, I had some pumpkin pie oatmeal when I woke up (2). Then, I took a Sandwich Thin with hummus to the movie theater with me when I went to see "Couples Retreat" (2 more).

The good news? I said "no" to the movie popcorn! Go, me! (I have to celebrate the small successes.)

After the movie, I hit the mall. Read somewhere that Cost Plus World Market had a sale on Torani sugar-free syrups. (They were still a bit pricey at two bottles for $12, but I'll probably pick a couple up on payday.) I stopped in the food court for a butterscotch pecan cookie (5 Points, bringing the total so far to 9 for the day).

Then, feeling a bit annoyed with the Boyfriend, who knew I had the day off and chose not to spend it with me, I decided to have dinner at Long John Silvers. (I know, I know. Stupid, self-destructive thing to do.) I thought long and hard before doing it, though, knowing that I'd have to take a picture of it to show you all. Ordered the fish/chicken combo basket, with fries and 2 hush puppies. They gave me the 2 fish combo instead. I only ate about half the fries, so the meal totaled about 16 1/2 Points (12 for 2 pieces of fish, 2 for the hush puppies and 2 1/2 for the fries I ate).

Wow. Looking at it that way, that's a pretty steep price tag. Had I gotten the chicken plank I wanted, it would have been only 13 1/2. Only?! :P

Even though that brought my day's total to 25 1/2, I wanted something else sweet after dinner and a stint at Barnes & Noble, where I sat in the cafe and wrote for a while. Instead of buying something really awful for me (like one of the delicious-looking Red Velvet Cupcakes from the BN bakery case), I picked up a cake mix and went home to make diet soda cupcakes. Chocolate cake mix with a can of Cherry Coke. Mmm ... even with no icing, they're pretty tasty.

Remarkably, I stopped with just one (2 Points). Woo-hoo (another small success)!

After spending several more hours writing (my word count is up to 8,755 now), I popped some popcorn using the paper bag trick (regular popcorn in a brown paper bag. It pops up just like the microwave stuff, but tastes fresher.). And now I'm here, totaling up the damage ... 28 1/2 Points for the day.

Actually, that's not as bad as I thought it might be. Cool. Maybe I'll actually see a good result at the scale in the morning.

Forgot to take a picture of breakfast

2009-11-07T11:16:00.000-08:00

I made pumpkin pancakes from Green Lite Bites this morning, and they were delicious. Unfortunately, I forgot to snap their photo before I snarfed them down.

They looked a lot like the ones Roni photographed, though. They were slightly cakey and just a bit sweet. Yum! And three pretty large pancakes had just 4 WW Points. (I added some sugar-free syrup for another 1 Point.)

Even better, they were a great way to use up the leftover pumpkin in my fridge before it went bad.

After breakfast, I hit the sidewalk for a 22-minute walk.

More later. I'll remember to take pictures for the rest of my meals. Promise!

Is it already Day 3?

2009-11-07T00:36:00.000-08:00

The visual food journal thing seems to be working. Even when I don't get the pictures off the camera and into the blog, the simple act of stopping to take the photo makes me think twice.

Today was a decent day, food-wise. I ate a few more Points than allowed, but I think I'm still within the Flex Points for the week. I'm going to have to be more strict the next couple of days, though, because I've pretty much used them all up now.

This morning started off with breakfast of a Sandwich Thin topped with 1 Tbsp each of reduced-fat PB and sugar-free peach jam. Mmm. An hour or so later, while I sat at my computer, writing, I tapped into the Boyfriend's bag of almonds, which he'd conveniently left within reach. (Forgot to take their picture, though.)

By about 11 a.m., I decided I was tired of writing and took a nap. Two hours later, when I finally woke up, it was time to hurry back up the mountain to go to work. So I had a quick lunch at Subway (and ate a pack of mini-Oreos on the way to Subway. Apparently, all that sleeping made me hungry.)

My at-work, post-lunch snack was a Spooky S'mores Bar, and then some Whoppers that some kind soul left in the newsroom. Sorry to say, but I LOVE malted milk balls, so I couldn't resist. At least I only ate one tiny pack (just 3 Whoppers).

For dinner, I'd pulled a serving of Roni's Beef-A-Ron i out of the freezer. I'm not sure it froze all that well (or maybe it was just old. I can't remember how long it was in the freezer.). The pasta was a bit mushy ... but it was still pretty tasty. I also ate a Jell-O mousse cup.

At about 10 p.m., I nibbled on the Kashi Fruit and Grain bar I brought in as my late-night snack. I love those things. I may also have some popcorn when I get home.

Overall, it was a pretty chocolate-heavy day. In retrospect, I wonder if starting the day off with PB&J works for me. (It does for Cristin at Eat Like Me!) But I seemed to want sweets all day long. That's not a good thing when I'm still trying to lose 20-ish pounds.

I also didn't get in any exercise today. Between all that writing, sleeping and working, I had no time to even take a short walk. Oh well. I'll definitely get one in tomorrow (or later today, actually, after I've gotten some sleep.)

Food	Units
sandwich thin w/ 1 tbsp rf pb, 1 tbsp sf peach jam	3
14 almonds	2
6-inch buffalo chicken sub w/o cheese	7
bag baked cheddar & sour cream chips	3
fun pk mini oreos	1
spooky smores z bar - yum!	2
3 whopper candies (from a fun-size pack)	1
roni's beef-a-roni	6
jell-o mousse	1
Total:	26

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Day One (again)

2009-11-04T00:06:00.000-08:00

My first full day of snapping photos of everything I ate went very well indeed. I hit my target of 23 Points for the first time ever (since losing a Point on my birthday).

As I suspected, taking pictures of what I eat is making me more aware of the choices I'm making. I sure don't want to have to tell you guys that I scarfed down a bunch of junk!

Here's what I did eat:

I had lunch with friends at Picazzo's, my favorite gourmet pizza place. Got my usual, the caesar salad with the special slice of the week. This week it was a margherita pizza, with tomato, basil and mozzarella. Yum! At 11 Points, it is a bit of an indulgence, but I just love Picazzo's. I try to get there at least once a payday.

A couple hours after lunch, I had another fun pack of mini Oreos. Really — how much fun are 5 bite-sized Oreos? I should give the rest away (but I'm sure I won't).

My at-work afternoon snack involved grape tomatoes and hummus on a sandwich thin. (I remembered to take a picture of the tomatoes this time.)

For dinner, I tried a new recipe, Quinoa and Black Beans. Someone brought it in to share at my last WW meeting, and I thought it sounded good. It was. I bulked it up a bit with some turkey smoked sausage, because I'm not much of a vegetarian. Even so, the whole bowl was just 4 Points. Watch for the recipe in a separate post.

Dessert was a Jell-O chocolate mousse cup (forgot to shoot). Then, at work for the evening, I snacked on another honeycrisp apple and some no-sugar-added peaches for 2 more Points. (I also had a piece of sugar-free root beer hard candy, which has barely any calories, so I'm counting it as 0. A 3-piece serving is 50 calories.)

No real exercise today, unless strolling around two grocery stores looking for quinoa counts, but the weather is going to be perfect for a walk in the morning — not too cold.

Below is my food journal from Tweet, Eat, Post, a great tool at Roni's Weigh.

Food	Units
light yogurt	2
picazzo's caesar salad & slice of pizza lunch combo	11
halloween pk mini oreos	1
10 grape tomatoes	0
2 tbsp hummus w/ sandwich thin	2
quinoa and black beans w/ 2 oz. turkey smoked sausage	4
jell-o chocolate mousse	1
honeycrisp apple	1
no-sugar-added peaches	1
Total:	23

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Status quo is not working

2009-11-03T09:54:00.002-08:00

I had my weekly WI this morning and was most displeased with the results: Up 3.4 pounds — since Wednesday.

Yes, there was a stress-filled Friday night binge (Taco Bell and too many Halloween cookies/candy) and the Boyfriend fed me too much for dinner Sunday night ... but 3+ pounds?

Some of it was probably water weight, but still, I'm unhappy with that. I'm supposed to be getting closer to goal, not farther away!

So I've decided what I've been doing is not working. The question is, what to do about it?

I think I've settled on an answer. I'm going to start taking pictures of what I eat before I eat it, and posting it here for you all to see, a la Self.com's Eat Like Me blog.

That ought to make me think twice about scarfing down 8 Halloween cookies and a plate of cheesy nachos!

Here's my stab at yesterday. I started with lunch, because that was after the bad WI.

Lunch was a beef/veggie bowl with brown rice from the Flame Broiler (8 Points). I forgot to snap it before I started eating, so by what you see is about half of it, after I'd eaten most of the veggies.

After lunch, I had

something sweet: a fun-size bag of Oreos (1 Point). I was excited to learn that

pack of those things

was just 1 Point ... but one pack is really a teeny tiny amount.

Afternoon snacks at work were a light English

muffin with hummus (2 more Points) and a honeycrisp apple.

Needed a quick dinner, so it was off to the Wendy's drive-thru. But I order

ed as healthy as I could: grilled chicken sandwich (7 Poin

ts) with a side salad (1 for the dres

sing).

What you didn't see: Breakfast was peanuts and a banana (5). I also forgot

to snap the 10 grape

tomatoes I ate at work (0) and the mini-box of Milk Duds pilfered from someone's leftover Halloween stash at the office (1).

My grand total for the day was 28 Points, so I used 5 FPs.

Must find a better way to cope with stress

2009-10-31T02:22:00.000-07:00

I admit it: I'm a stress eater. I know this about myself and try to compensate whenever possible.

Today, I failed miserably. I told myself I wouldn't eat my way through a stressful evening at work — but I did it anyway.

I know there are other ways to deal with stress: Take a walk ... phone a friend ... take a stretching break ... run to a quiet place and let out a scream ... :D

But when you don't feel like you can leave your desk for longer than it takes to hit the bathroom, it's rather difficult to do any of those things. Much easier to snack.

Except it's not better for my waistline — and I've decided that the status quo is not working. After realizing a couple of posts ago that I've basically maintained my weight for a year (down about 50 but with about 20 left to get to goal), I've been trying to come up with ways to shake things up a bit.

One way would be to come up with suitable alternatives to stress-eating. Any of you out there have any ideas on how to stop snacking when I'm stressed out but feel obligated to stay at my desk, plowing through a pile of pages?

Thank goodness for canine workout partners!

2009-10-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

I keep reading that dogs make great workout partners. But I'm not a big believer, because my Cocoa is a lazy girl. She's quite happy to stay inside.

Now that I'm dog-sitting for a friend's dog, I can believe it. Bandit is fantastic for my activity level.

Bandit, you see, is used to getting walks. (That's him at left.) Unlike my lazy lump on a log, Cocoa (below), he gets three or more walks a day. So when I'm Bandit-sitting, I get more walks myself.

That's good for both of us. When I get up in the morning, and it's cold and snowy outside and I don't want to even THINK about taking a walk, Bandit looks at me expectantly. I know that he's used to getting even more walks than I give him, and I end up outside, in the cold, walking the dog.

Today, it was a 34-minute walk after my write-in. I picked him up at his house this morning, but because I was running late, he only got a quick walk around the block. I promised him a longer walk when I got home from the write-in ... And even though I doubt he has a concept of time (or promises), I kept it.

I guess promising Bandit is kind of like promising myself. :D

Speaking of promises to myself, I DID hit that WW meeting Wednesday afternoon. It put me at 188.2 — exactly the same as a week ago Monday.

I'm not upset, because I know that I weigh a little heavier at night. My a.m. weigh-in when I first woke up Wednesday was 185.4 — also not bad when I consider I had a bad weekend.

File this one under 'things that make you go hmm'

2009-10-28T00:16:00.001-07:00

Those of you who read my blog over at Blog to Lose know that the Boyfriend and I got into a tiff Monday. He wanted me to fetch and carry (like he always does, somehow thinking that's helping me get more activity) and I didn't want to (like I usually don't. Why should I jump when he says jump?).

He yelled, and the words "fat" and "a$$" came up. He also asserted that all I need to do to lose weight is get more exercise ... like the macaroni and cheese, french fries, fried chicken and other unhealthy foods he's always tempting me to eat aren't a huge culprit in my failure to lose the last 15-20 pounds.

Later, he apologized. But he also brought up a good point: "You say your a$$ is fat all the time ... why is it OK for you to say it, but not me?"

A very good point, indeed. It reminded me of something my WW leader said once: We often say things to/about ourselves that we'd never put up with a friend saying.

And that begs the question: WHY? Why is it OK for me to call myself fat, yet I don't like it at all when the Boyfriend says the same thing?

The short answer? It's not.

We should all be a little kinder to ourselves. Let's celebrate our successes instead of focusing on our failures.

I'm particularly bad at that: I keep focusing on the weight I still have to lose instead of remembering that I've already lost 50+ pounds. In fact, I can tell you exactly how much weight I still had to lose as of my last WI: 18.2 pounds. But I had to look it up to know how much I've lost in all (53.8 pounds).

There's something wrong with that. I should be able to call that number to mind effortlessly. I've lost 53.8 pounds ... Yes, I have a few more to go — but I should still be celebrating what I've already accomplished.

Basically, I've been maintaining for a year. I hit the 50-pounds lost mark right around my birthday in 2008 — ever since, I've been bouncing around the 180s. My WW goal is still 170 (2 pounds under the max weight for my height).

I can get there, I know I can. Yes, I do need to get more exercise — at least 30 minutes most days of the week. But fetching for the Boyfriend isn't going to cut it. More long walks ... bike rides ... even jogging.

And I have to put the kibosh on eating crap, especially when I'm with the Boyfriend. (He really is a huge culprit.)

Time to live by the wise, wise words of Yoda: "There is no try. Do or do not." It's time for me to buckle down and just do it!

They're back!

2009-10-21T07:08:00.000-07:00

Last year, I discovered Clif Kid Organic ZBar in Spooky S'mores flavor and raved about it. Well, it's back, and it's just as delicious this year.

The package describes it as a "baked whole grain energy snack" and says it has 10 g whole grains, 12 vitamins and minerals and no high-fructose corn syrup. Good qualities, all — but I'd say it's more like a cookie ... a tasty, delicious cookie.

I was excited to spot a display of these at the grocery store Sunday. As far as sweet snacks go, this is one of the healthier ones. No, I'm not fooled into thinking it's GOOD for me, per se ... but it is a better choice than straight chocolate, or a 100-calorie pack of something.

And with 130 calories, 3.5 grams of fat and 3 g fiber, it has just 2 WW Points! :D

Yesterday was a decent day on the Points front. I tracked everything, even though I didn't make all the best choices (it was Prime Rib for $10 night at the casino, and that's what the Boyfriend and I had for dinner.) I did keep it to one trip to the buffet ... well, I made one trip for a plate of salad — no croutons or bacon bits, just veggies, but a drizzle of real blue cheese dressing — and one for mashed potatoes, corn and the meat.

But by tracking, I discovered I hadn't blown it quite as badly as I feared ... and that made it easier to make better late-night snack choices.

So far today, I haven't eaten anything. I'm about to head off to Starbucks to work on my Golden Heart entry, though I think I'll eat breakfast before I go so I'm not tempted by one of those silly 6-Point muffins. Of course they do have oatmeal ...

Who am I kidding? If I walk in there hungry and see the muffins, the muffin will be what I order. I know myself well enough to know that. :P

What Golden Heart entry, you ask? Well, when I'm not busy being a journalist and weight-loss blogger, I'm trying to break into the publishing biz with my romantic comedy. I'm a member of Romance Writers of America, and the Golden Heart is a contest for the unpublished among us. This is my first year to enter, and the entry fee is a stiff $50 ... so I'm trying to make my little manuscript the best it can be so I actually have a chance to win.

I seem to get more done when I work at Starbucks — and I'm usually pretty good at NOT being tempted by the baked goods. I've had a couple of pieces of the low-fat coffee cake, but even those are 6 Points each. I usually get a tall iced, FF/SF latte, but lately I've been getting unsweetened iced green tea (which I add Splenda to) — the large size costs less than the small latte, so it lasts longer. And it's 0 Points, compared to the 2-Point latte.

Color me surprised

2009-10-19T16:43:00.001-07:00

I wasn't looking forward to today's WI. It's been another awful week, with me not at my own house since Thursday night, when the roommate told me she had swine flu. I didn't want to catch it, so I've been heading to the Boyfriend's every night after work, and you all know I eat much more poorly when I'm with him than when I'm on my own.

Well, the scale was actually down a little ... 1.2 pounds, to be exact.

I know this doesn't give me an excuse to keep doing what I've been doing, though. This week, I'm getting back to basics: Tracking everything, exercising and drinking more H2O than diet soda.

Wish me luck!

Absent since my birthday

2009-10-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

I've been absent from the blog since last Wednesday ... and the scale showed my lapse yesterday. I'm up 5 pounds. Ugh.

Blame it on my birthday, a food-filled weekend with the Boyfriend, a Friday night of raging

munchies (seriously — I could NOT stop eating. I thought it had something to do with a crappy day at work, but TOM started again Saturday, when I wasn't expecting it. It's early). I didn't journal and I indulged way too much.

I could also blame part of the gain on not drinking enough water and weighing in the

afternoon instead of the morning.

Whatever my excuses, I'm now that much further from hitting my goal weight by Thanksgiving. Why is it that I can't seem to get out of the 180s? Last week, I was getting close. Now I'm nearly back at 190 again.

Aargh!

Well, it's early enough for me to head out for a walk before it gets too warm. Funny how some of my online friends are dealing with snow, but here in Arizona — at least the part where I am today — it's going to be in the 70s. Flagstaff's supposed to get into the 60s, but I'm at the Boyfriend's again today.

Yesterday, we took a hike — literally. I have some beautiful pictures of the scenery around this little trail I didn't know existed. It's hard to believe that all these different landscapes exist in one little area.

But first, I'm off for that walk. No excuses! (Yes, I'm still trying to cultivate that attitude. It's going to take a while ...)

Happy birthday to me

2009-10-07T01:01:00.000-07:00

I can't remember if I mentioned it here, but today is my birthday ... and now that I'm hitting the big 3-8, I lose a Point.

That's right. Just by virtue of being a day older, I now get just 23 Points a day instead of 24. How fair is that? It's even worse when I consider that I'm not all that good at limiting myself to 24.

Thank goodness for those handy FPs. I get a feeling I'll be using some just to get by — at least at first.

23 Points just doesn't sound like many. And I'm hovering right near the 170s, so I'll lose another one, too ... As the Boyfriend said, "You're going to have to start eating a lot of food with lower Points values." Ah, if only he weren't the prime culprit in getting me to eat high-Points foods! :D

As for today, it went pretty well. I took a 20-minute walk. The Nike+ still wasn't working, but I think I fixed it by trying what the tech support folks suggested again when I got back in from my walk. (Don't ask me why it didn't work the first time. Electronic gadgets are a mystery to me!)

I finished my Pita Jungle salad for lunch and had zucchini and a ham sandwich for dinner. Too much chocolate again today. I'm beginning to think that I really am a chocoholic. More on that in another post. I have to process and decide what to do about it first.

On habits

2009-10-06T00:12:00.000-07:00

Why is it that good habits are so hard to form, but the bad ones come back at the drop of a hat?

Seriously. I've read that it takes 28 days to form a habit. In theory, that means if you can get up and work out every morning for 28 days, it'll be that much easier to keep doing it for the rest of your life.

It never works out that way. Yet the bad habits I thought I banished are never very far from mind. I thought I'd kicked the soda habit — until the Boyfriend gave me my 100-ounce, insulated jug. Now I fill it with Diet Dr Pepper from the Maverik more often than I care to admit. Worse, I'm starting to crave the caffeine again.

I'm going to try making a deal with myself: I have to finish a full jug of water for every fill-up with soda. Since it usually takes me more than 24 hours to drink one of those things, that'll cut back on the pop consumption. Then, hopefully, it won't be long until I want them even less often.

No excuses

2009-10-05T13:49:00.000-07:00

That's an attitude I need to work on. Today, I made a good start. I headed out for a short walk after my WW meeting and lunch, only to find my Nike+ sensor wasn't working ... I was moving and the iPod wasn't registering a darn thing.

But instead of using that as an excuse to decide NOT to take a walk, I walked anyway. I cruised the sidewalks around my neighborhood the old-fashioned way — without the Nike+, just the iPod on shuffle.

Funny how dependent we can get on our electronic gadgets. I love the Nike+ because it tracks my distance and speed ... but I don't NEED it to walk. As long as I have music, I'm fine.

Lunch was delicious. I stopped at Pita Jungle after my WW meeting. All you Arizonans, if you haven't tried it, you should. I've been there three times now, and haven't tasted anything I didn't like. Today I had the Mediterranean Chicken Salad — chicken, tomatoes, corn, pine nuts, feta cheese, tabbouleh, lettuce, golden raisins and a little vinaigrette. Yum! I even managed to stop after eating just half and I'm completely satisfied.

As for my weigh-in, the news was better than I expected: I'm down 0.8 for the week, which leaves just 14 pounds to get to goal. Slowly but surely, I'm getting there.

Struggling to 'get the balance right'

2009-10-04T23:26:00.000-07:00

So far, I'm failing — not miserably, but failing nonetheless.

I try to strike a balance between healthy food choices and indulgences — the indulgences won all day Friday and part of Saturday. Sunday, the healthy choices took the prize. I even still have a couple of Points left for a snack when I get home from work. I'm thinking popcorn drizzled with EVOO for 2 Points. Yum-o!

I try to strike a balance between working out and resting. Unfortunately, these days I find myself resting a lot more than I'm working out.

The biggest area I'm trying to find a balance in is life in general. I'm trying to balance the healthy eating and exercise with work and (in my off hours) work on my writing career. That's a lot of balls to keep up in the air at once, and I'm not doing a very good job of it. I can't imagine what would be falling by the wayside if I had a husband and kids to take care of. I don't know how Roni does it: Maintaining her weight, working, three blogs, training for a marathon ... I wish I had half her energy and discipline.

It seems that when I'm at work, I'm either stressed or (when it's slow) bored, so I'm snacking a lot. When I'm home, I have time to exercise and eat right, but feel like I should be writing instead. And when I'm writing, I may not be snacking because I'm busy with my novel ... but I'm not taking that walk I know I should take.

I need to strike the right balance wherein I can work out, eat right, hit my goal weight by Thanksgiving, get my novel rewritten in time for the Golden Heart competition (deadline Dec. 2) and still have time to go to work and spend time with the Boyfriend.

That's what I want for my birthday, which is on Wednesday: A recipe for balance.

Anyone have any tips for me? I'll try anything, within reason.

Inspired

2009-09-30T01:44:00.000-07:00

I love Roni's Chicken Surprise. I've made it at least a half-dozen times and always eat all the leftovers before they go bad.

For dinner tonight, I let that recipe inspire me to try something new, but similar. I made a skillet meal with lean ground beef, beef-flavored rice mix, corn, green beans and salsa. It turned out pretty well — if a little spicy. (Not sure why I found it spicy. The salsa I bought said it was "medium" and I'm usually OK with medium salsas.)

I wish I'd remembered to take a picture of it, but I'll try to remember to snap one next time I reheat the leftovers.

Here's the recipe for what I'm calling Mexican-style beef and rice:

8 oz. 93% lean ground beef

1 box reduced-sodium beef-flavored Rice-a-Roni

1 1/2 cups water

1 cup salsa

1 cup corn with red and green bell pepper pieces

1 can green beans

Brown beef in a good-sized skillet. Add rice and cook according to package directions, subbing 1 1/2 cups water and 1 cup salsa for the 2 1/2 cups water called for on the box. When you have about 5 minutes of cooking time left, add the corn and beans.

Makes 4 servings, each with 6 WW Points. (I know Roni's Chicken Surprise is 3 servings with 7 Points each, but when I tried to do 3 servings, it came out to 8 Points ... and that was too pricey for one meal.)

Can it really be that simple?

2009-09-29T00:08:00.000-07:00

I went to my normal Monday morning weigh-in this morning after a decent but not great weekend ... and I was down 4.8 pounds.

Of course, that still means I'm up 1.2 from two Mondays ago, but down from last Monday. I'll take it. At least it means the scale's going in the right direction. :D

The big difference? I was alone this weekend, after being with the Boyfriend last weekend. Yes, I know I make poor choices when I'm with him. He doesn't have to push very hard for me to say, "I'd love some mac & cheese" or some french fries or microwave popcorn with real butter.

Why? Because, for me, food = fun. When I'm happy and enjoying myself, food is often involved.

I like fun food. A cheeseburger is a heck of a lot more fun than a salad topped with grilled chicken. Mac & cheese is definitely more fun than, say, brown rice. And chocolate cake or a donut will beat out an apple almost every time.

Bad attitude, I know, but there it is. Give me fun foods and I'm a happy camper.

I think that's why I like Hungry Girl's newsletter: She's always dishing up recipes for things like onion rings, cupcakes and faux fast-food faves — and they're all way healthier than the originals.

I need to work on my attitude. It's a lifestyle, not a diet ... and it doesn't mean a steady intake of salads. There's plenty of room in this lifestyle for sensible indulgences.

My favorite salad ... from McDonald's, anyway

2009-09-26T01:02:00.000-07:00

I know a lot of people who swear by McDonald's Southwest Chicken Salad — but I'm more of a Chicken Bacon Ranch kind of girl.

I think it's because, after two years on the Atkins diet, I love bacon. (Or maybe I just got along so well doing the low-carb thing because I was a bacon lover to start.)

With its cheese and bacon, the Chicken Bacon Ranch salad makes me feel like I've had something delicious and decadent ... and all for just 5 Points. (The dressing adds something, depending on what you use. I have Kraft light ranch packets in my purse and a bottle of Walden Farms creamy bacon dressing in the fridge — the former has 2 Points, the latter 0. Which one I use depends on where I am when the salad craving strikes.)

Oh, how I wish it would strike more often. I wish I could say I LOVE salads. Unfortunately, when I try to make one a meal, I often walk away wanting something more. This Chicken Bacon Ranch salad really satisfies.

And that's what matters: Finding foods that don't make you feel deprived.

While my coworkers were eating pizza ...

2009-09-25T00:04:00.000-07:00

... I was enjoying a California roll from my favorite local sushi place. I've been there so often — always ordering the same thing — that when I walked in today, the woman at the podium knew my name and what I wanted.

Hmm ... maybe I should take that as a sign that I eat too many California rolls. I try to go there at least once every other week (and sometimes more like weekly). But it's a good, filling lunch for few WW Points, which makes it a no-brainer choice for me.

Today, I paired it with a small bowl of cantaloupe I picked up while I was at the bank/grocery store. (There are advantages to having a bank with in-store branches.)

Overall, today was a great day — my first in about a week. I plan to make it the first in a string of great choices all weekend long ... something that will be easier because I'm working and the Boyfriend will be doing his own thing all weekend.

I have a meeting of my romance writer's group Saturday, which will make for a long day for me (up early to drive to the meeting an hour and a half away, then back home to work until midnight). That doesn't mean, though, that I have to eat things I know I should avoid. I'm perfectly capable of making good choices — even at a restaurant.

At least I'm going to tell myself I am. I tend to have trouble with that — a bad habit I'd like to change. For some reason, the things I know are safe to order don't appeal nearly as much as the ones that are bad for me. It's like I'm afraid they'll have disappeared off the menu the next time I go to whatever restaurant I'm in, and I'll have missed my LAST chance to eat whatever it is.

Then there's that whole "I'm eating out — why shouldn't I get what I want" attitude to counter. I know that every restaurant meal is not a special occasion and cause to splurge ... but I still have trouble not doing exactly that EVERY darn time I go out.

How do you safely navigate restaurant eating? Any tips on how I can change my mindset?

Too much sugar

2009-09-22T10:55:00.003-07:00

I've been thinking: One of WW's eight Good Health Guidelines is to avoid added sugar and alcohol. But I don't avoid added sugar nearly as much as I should.

One of the culprits? Those 100-calorie packs of snacks. They're ONLY 2 Points, I tell myself ... conveniently forgetting that's 2 Points I could be using on something with nutritional value.

I guess it's OK when I only have one 100 calorie pack in a day ... And usually, I'm able to do that. But I've discovered one variety that I have trouble stopping with just one of. That's them over there at the left. Chips Ahoy! Double Chocolate Chip cookies are apparently a trigger food for me. I ate one pack at work Friday, and a couple of hours later, still at my desk, I tore into another one.

I guess I won't be buying THOSE anymore. I should probably cut back on all 100-calorie packs. (The chocolate-covered pretzels are another favorite of mine.) And sugary yogurts. I just noticed that my favorite Yoplait Light (also just 2 Points, but at least it counts as a dairy serving) has the dreaded high fructose corn syrup listed as its second ingredient. I thought those things were sweetened with Splenda.

Hmm. I should have known better. Anything that tastes as good as their Apple Turnover and Pineapple Upside Down Cake varieties CAN'T be good for you, right? :D Well, I guess they are better than the original kind ... And they are delicious. Yum!

I've been flirting with the idea of watching carbs again — not as strictly as I did on Atkins, but surely I can do a lower-carb version of WW and lose the last 19 pounds more quickly than I've lost the first 55-ish ... right?